To not want people to poo in my downstairs toilet?!

[Scornedwoman67]

I will start by saying I am a fairly relaxed person when it comes to the house. I like tidy, but am not obsessed about cleaning etc.
A few years ago, after my divorce, I bougt my current house & had a downstairs toilet installed. Because of space constraints, it is off the kitchen. I have a rule that basically it's only for No.1's. I sort of assumed that most people would realise that anyway, firstly because it is near the kitchen, and secondly because it isn't exactly soundproof
Anyway, a friend & her DH visited yesterday. I will add that he has history - he has on at least one previous occasion taken himslef upstairs & sat in that loo for a 'session' ( apologies if you're eating ) but yesterday he excelled himself. We were sitting in the lounge chatting & he disappeared out of the room. I went in to the kitchen a few minutes later & he shouted through the door to announce where he was. His DW rather nervously reminded him about my rule ( knowing what he is like, I suspect) to which he replied 'oh dear'.

Whilst I can see the funny side of it, I do think it is rude....or AIBU?!

I'm thinking of putting a bloody great big sign on the door now!!!!

Kleinzeit
The two-door rule is good practice but no longer legally required for domestic toilets. But open windows or forced air ventilation is required.

Mrscakes ISWYM about my friend. I agree, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

In other news: my cat has just revisited the litter tray for another go. It's quite smelly so I think it's worked.

Do you tell new guests to the house that they can't poo in downstairs? That must be awkward.

I think the person posting about men undoing their trousers in front of her was a builder's wife talking about employees being desperate for the loo after being denied it by prissy clients rather than flashers.

I vote that people can poo in any toilet as long as they clean up after themselves and don't leaves kiddies.
I have very excitable bowels and often need to poo at inopportune moments. If all my friends took the stance that it's rude for me to poo on their houses I would have no friends left, it's a rare day when I don't need an emergency poo!

Skiddies, not kiddies!

I think I'm in the minority... (although I've only read the 1st page) but I think YANBU.

But this is because I don't poo in other people's houses, so I naively think everyone thinks the same way.... I think it's embarassing.

I would however poo in my own downstairs loo nr the kitchen x

I know Daisychain I have a good giggle thinking about them wanting the toilet, knocking on the door and rushing past, undoing their trousers before they get to the toilet. I seriously did think they had the trousers half removed from her post.

Not that I giggle at them needing the toilet, more them running around with their trousers down, not saying hello just running past.

I am just glad there are not bouncing balls and all sorts added into the mix.

excitable bowels

Love it

I know it sounds crazy and impossible, having a "routine" but it can be done. And I am not talking about exceptional medical cases, IBS, diverticulitis etc, that is different.

No it can't. Not only can it not be done by a lot of people, but it is unhealthy to try to do it.

The majority of us can hold onto a poo - I wouldn't dream of having a poo at someone else house!
My friend came to see me after she had done her shopping ( she lives round the corner) - she came in and used the loo - clearly had her bowels open- (shock / horror!!) had a cup of tea then went home ! Why not go home and have a poo- come round after!

Daisy the President of the United States has bathroom breaks factored in to his schedule. I would imagine that the Queen does too.

Burren I agree with you, this thread is a fascinating from a sociological point of view! Kate Fox could write a book and call it "Watching the English . . . poo"

I think it is unnatural and unhealthy to have to hold a poo in for longer than say an hour or so maximum (and sometimes when you gotta go, you gotta go). Why does anyone have to do that if there a toilet available? Why are people so prissy about this? It's not as if it's an unusual thing to do is it...

I am just curious how all these people know your visitor has done a poo? Do you listen? I wouldn't even know with my guests unless they were in there an unusually long time or it was smelly. Do people monitor their toilets and activity in there??

I just find this all so curious.

Yeah flipperty... She should have gone home 1st!

In Flippertys case I can see why you'd think she should have gone home first, because she lived nearby and she only visited for a short time.

But can I ask again, for all the people who have thrown up their hands in horror at the thought of someone else using their toilet, how do you actually know the person can hold on? How do you know they can wait? I don't have 'IBS/bowel inflammation sufferer' tattooed on my face and I've never met anyone who does. I've only told one friend, because it's not something I want to discuss with people. I'm otherwise healthy, I exercise a lot, I don't need to follow a special diet because there is no one food that is a trigger for me. All the people posting 'of course, if you have a medical problem, I wouldn't consider you rude, that's different'. How do you decide who is rude and who isn't? Magic colonoscopy eyes? Wish my dr had those, it would have saved a lot of undignified and unpleasant medical intervention

It is a toilet. If you don't want people to use it for er...toiletary matters...then why put it there?

Is it not the case for people who don't have a bowel condition that they tend to go poo at normal-ish intervals, and pretty rarely at night?

Possibly so, but how do you know who has a bowel condition?

Fair enough, treacle - but I was explaining why I wouldn't want to go poo in someone else's loo, not why I don't want someone to go poo in mine.

I don't poo at normalish intervals. It is usually once a day. But during my period and if I have eaten a lot of veg, I find I poo at other times, often unexpectedly.

Ah, yes. I don't have my period anymore (coil! love it!) but I do recall having totally hideous poos when I had mine. Gross.

I'm astounded that some have a 'rule' that guests should try not to poo in a particular toilet, or any toilet in the house, or that people take any interest whatsoever in what a guest is likely to let slip out into it!

I show guests the downstairs loo but add there's a better basin and mirror in the upstairs one if they prefer (maybe slightly hoping I remembered to shut the bedroom doors on any chaos within .

I've obviously been going wrong and in future will issue 'loo passes' to visitors (the Yellow Card or the Brown Card) and direct them accordingly, depending on the answer to my narrow-eyed question 'what will you be doing in there? IF IN DOUBT take the Brown Card'

Apples love it!

The thing is, I just think it makes visitors feel awkward. I have never ever in all my life even considered any of this before but now I have read this thread I shall have an abject horror of getting caught short and needing to do a poo in someone's house. (in the toilet of course!) On second thoughts I might just go for it! I still can't work out how anyone would know anyway if I'm quick about it and don't leave a smell! I shall from henceforth be known as the 'Undercover Poo-er'.

Eurotrash, let's do it and split the no doubt enormous profits on 'Watching the English ... Poo'.

I'm getting intrigued at the notion that has come up from several different posters who were irritated or bemused that someone 'has come around to their house to poo', as if they thought the visitor had made an intentional visit in order to not pollute the atmosphere of their own home loo!

It would never in a million years occur to me to go home before calling to someone in order to poo on my own turf, so to speak, because it has simply never occurred to me that this is a socially unacceptable thing to do. Neither would the necessity to 'hold it in' occur to me in similar circumstances, any more than it would occur to me to think 'Oh, I'd better wait till I get home to put on more lip balm'. Unless there is no loo, or the available one is revolting, I poo whenever I feel the need. This thread is so enlightening - I never knew people refused to poo at work!