To think my friends drink too much?

[blanchedeveraux]

Firstly, I'd like to establish that I know it's none of my business, but a couple we are good friends with are drinking more and more every time we socialise with them and their 18 year old DS has been drinking illegally in pubs for about 3 years with fake ID and already has a huge beer gut.

Maybe I'm in the wrong but do you think this sounds like excessive alcohol consumption?

Met up at 12 noon for early lunch. Both of them drank 2 bottles of wine each with lunch. We then went to the pub (3pm by now) and by 7pm they had a further 8 pints of lager each. Me and DH were floored by this time (hadn't drunk nearly as much but were comparative lightweights). We got a cab home and I texted the following day to thank them for a good day out and asked how much longer they had stayed. She replied "Oh, we were there till midnight, I'm more lager than woman now ha ha".

Neither of them ever seem to suffer from hangovers or any obvious ill effects (although both are putting on a LOT of weight).

They are self employed and go out to the pub almost every night of the week.

They are good company and we only see them about once a month but every time they seem to be drinking more than ever.

Just wondered what others thought?

That's a fair question. The reason I started the thread is we were out with them last weekend and we had a great time as usual but it seemed that no matter how much they drank, it didn't seem to have any adverse or obvious impact on them.

We were discussing a mutual acquaintance who had to give up alcohol because she'd contracted Hepatitis (not through alcohol abuse) but her and her DH's lives revolved around the golf club and social drinking. She said this couple's marriage was on shaky ground as she couldn't handle going out with a load of drinkers when she was sober.

My friend then made a jokey "they might as well nail the lid down if I have to give up booze" remark. So, it seems they're well aware of how much it means to them but very reluctant to change. Ergo, I didn't think there was much point in me trying to "change" them.

How was I having a go at your friends, Blanche? I felt I was rather defending them from their so-called "friend" - you- holding them up for cheap thrills on AIBU.

As for now starting to drip feed about your family, well, obviously I'm very sympathetic towards anyone who has been hurt by alcoholism, but bringing it up six pages into your thread strikes me as highly manipulative.

And no, I don't like your gossipy, sensationalistic, attention-seeking thread. And I DO know what to do- I'll continue to post my reasons for not liking it here. Dear.

She said this couple's marriage was on shaky ground as she couldn't handle going out with a load of drinkers when she was sober.

This is always interesting to me. Hope you don't mind a bit of a digression, blanche. One of the big surprises during my sober year was how little difference it makes! I still feel a bit daft at the same time as everyone else is getting tiddly, still laugh too loud, etc, etc. The only really annoying thing is way drunk people keep saying the same thing over and over again. The only really annoying thing is way drunk people keep saying the same thing over and over again. The only really annoying thing is way drunk people keep saying the same thing over and over again.

But ... addictions cover issues. Without the booze, you have to face them. Or at least acknowledge them and think about facing them. If you don't, you become a 'dry drunk' and your life becomes such a mess that you may as well drink. It's my belief that when a situation like this woman's dilemma arises, it's not because she doesn't like being around drinkers any more; it's because she's found out she doesn't like the people she was drinking with - including her husband. Hope she manages to figure things out.

Haha, I repeated a sentence with a typo in it. How very appropriate! I haven't even had a drink yet

evie, bowlersarm - agreed, completely weird thread. Why ask if they're drinking too much when it is obvious they are. Either the OP has no clue at all about recommended alcohol levels or she is just being deliberately naive and wants a big gossip-fest.

oh - and how come I'm not surprised that she then adds in a little about her Dad? I don't believe this thread at all

'completely weird thread'

In the realms of AIBU this is so far from a weird thread...!

Thanks threesteps. OP here. I wasn't going to post anymore on it as I'm a bit sick of being told how awful I am for questioning drinking capacity. I'm now being accused of making up my late father's alcohol problem. This place defies belief sometimes.

ignore ignore ignore blanche x

I totally get how perceptions get muddled depending on our past experience.

I think you sound like a good mate and have not come across in any way judgey [hugs]

^^ Thanks again threesteps. Much appreciated.