to just smile and nod at friends naive views on impending motherhood...

[SqutterNutBaush]

Apparently she watched OBEM last week and laughed at how pathetic the women were because "there's no need for,all the screaming and crying drama FFS" and she won't need a section because she doesn't like needles.

Her baby will stay at home with DH 5 days after birth so she can return to college as there's no need to delay, surely they can cope without a feed for 3 hours even though she wants to BF.

The baby will go in its own room from birth and it won't be a hassle getting up "what twice a night?".

The scan dates are DEFINATELY wrong because they are showing the baby as normal sized when her DH was hugely long at birth so "we've only bought 3-6 months clothing to prove them wrong"

My personal favourite "we've didn't see the need to buy a pram with seat bit so just got a carrycot one second hand as by the time she outgrows it around a year she can just walk with us"

I'm sorry, but what on earth is this verb, "to sling"? Surely, it's "I sling the banana peel in the bin," not "I sling my baby." You need an object for this verb. [grouchy old gimmer emoticon]

What would you describe it as then?

using a sling

"I use a sling for my baby," not "I sling my baby."

Not hard to use a couple of extra words.

Grrrrrrr.

it's better than the ridiculously twee 'baby wearing'.

also have you considered she might actually be shit scared?

Agree slinging is better than "baby-wearing".

Body i've tried offering a shoulder if she's worried and trued to approach things from that point of view and i've asked open questions but "she's done her reading and knows all there is to know surely"

...did you say she works in a nursery?!?
And she thinks baby will walk everywhere at 12 months? must not be planning to venture farther than te next street then

sounds like a control freak to me!

Well she can't have read anything about newborns or breastfeeding or birth! Do you have any books you can lend her or maybe point her to the relevant websites or forums? Is she going to NCT classes or any other groups like that? You can gently tell her about you experiences or some of your friends but if she won't listen then just let her learn the hard way when baby arrives. Her DH will have to do an emergency trip from the hospital for some more appropriately sized clothes!

Thinking about this thread today and thought i'd update...

Friends baby is now a 4 week old boy who arrived weighing 7lb 6oz and 50cm after an induction, 10 hour labour and a lot of shouting at a non-existant cat and screaming at the midwife for "eyeballing her" :o

After realising that babies do tend to wake more than once or twice a night the cot has been taken into their room and I even helped her set it up as a co-sleeper to stop her falling asleep holding him.

Her DH even bought a baby Bjorn carrier for her to use as baby won't be put down during the day and I've managed to talk her into coming along to the next slingmeet to look into a funkier sling (didn't want to scare her with whole crotch dangling thing).

Overall little man is great as is friend and she has thankfully reached out for help and fully admitted that she laughs at how little she knew but I told her if we knew what was in store we would never have kids :o

Aw.

I take it she's back at college full time .

Err no college as of yet but she has managed to get some online studying done... Whilst arse is glued to the sofaand baby boy is glued to nipple (her words) which is admittedly much more productive than my compulsive viewing of Criminal minds ;)

glad mother and baby are doing well

I think this is a really mean thread and OP you should be ashamed of yourself. None of us - NONE of us - knew what it would be like before having our first. I'm sure every first time mother has their own views about how it's going to be and I'm equally sure every first time mother has thought "holy fuck I got that wrong" when baby appears. No need at all to mock your alleged friend - she may be right, she may be wrong but very poor show to be taking the piss out of her in this way

actually threads like this might be useful for anybody reading who is expecting their first and has what life is going to be like planned out.

I'm glad things are going well for your pal OP.

I'm expecting my first and I like this thread. I realise I have no clue about how much my life will change ... perhaps that attitude is the one thing that will help me get though it!

I'm probably guilty of being overly pessimistic ("the first year will be horrific, I'll be fat forever with permanently unwashed hair, battle scarred and a zombie from lack of sleep") so any positives will be gravy.

I was almost that naïve, and looking back, I'm glad I was. At least I was able to enjoy the pregnancy! whereas if I'd know what I was in for, I would have been dreading it, and would have taken so many drugs I would have been knocked out for a week

Let her say what she wants, don't offer "advice" but let her know that she can call you. Visit after the birth, bring food and a sling, and a big box of tissues. She will need them! You're a great friend.

oops just read that this was a while ago...glad it worked out well! She made it through the toughest part already! :)

why would you post this so everyone can call her a fool?

When I went into labor I was afraid the baby was going to just fall out while I walked around. I wish.

What is the crotch dangling thing?

When she has the baby and it inevitably goes tits up from her ideal can you update this OP?

I pretty much had a sneeze birth (went from 4cm to delivered in exactly 60mins) and only had gas and air but I would never assume since it was easy for me (though I was that woman who you can hear at the other end of the hospital) that birth is easy full stop so from that point of view she's astonishingly naive but all you can do is smile, say nothing and swoop in to the rescue when you need to!

Oops missed your update (trust me to read the first par then skip)

At least she seems to be doing well despite her initial ideas

First of all I wasn't posting this so people could call her a fool, she's one of my best friends and was puzzled whether to keep my mouth shut, gently dismiss her naivity or just well laugh!

I kept quiet through months of Questioning and criticising everyone around us parenting styles, mine included, because she and her baby would never do X,Y,Z so yes I thought a little ANNONYMOUS rant was due before I snapped at her!

Anyway like I said she' laughing at her own Comments and thoughts now her adorable DS is here and its totally different to picking up/putting down nursery kids but most of all I'm glad shesnot been too stubborn and asked for help and advice when she's needed, which I stated up thread was a big worry for me.

So judge away about how bitchy I am etc but really does go to show how the MN tides turn one day from the next.