to just smile and nod at friends naive views on impending motherhood...

[SqutterNutBaush]

Apparently she watched OBEM last week and laughed at how pathetic the women were because "there's no need for,all the screaming and crying drama FFS" and she won't need a section because she doesn't like needles.

Her baby will stay at home with DH 5 days after birth so she can return to college as there's no need to delay, surely they can cope without a feed for 3 hours even though she wants to BF.

The baby will go in its own room from birth and it won't be a hassle getting up "what twice a night?".

The scan dates are DEFINATELY wrong because they are showing the baby as normal sized when her DH was hugely long at birth so "we've only bought 3-6 months clothing to prove them wrong"

My personal favourite "we've didn't see the need to buy a pram with seat bit so just got a carrycot one second hand as by the time she outgrows it around a year she can just walk with us"

she's 38 weeks and has attended anti-natal classes, I'm not quite sure what they've told her tbh.

OP you sound like a great friend.

My three week old DD has been such a huge shock and I went out of my way to listen to others experiences and not have any preconceived ideas! I always said I would just go with the flow and respond to the babies needs. I had NO idea what that meant!

Also, newborn clothes are actually quite big! DD was 8lb 6 at birth and some of the newborn stuff was too big. Even now three weeks on and at nearly 9lb we're not ready to go into the 0-3 month stuff! (Which is great because she is still tiny and snugly!!)

Gosh I feel for her. When reality hits it's going to be such a huge massive shock!

Op...suggest a night out a week after the birth...make sure when the time comes around that you send her a text saying 'can't wait to hit the town tonight!'

My daughter is expecting her first baby in July and is absolutely convinced that she'll still be able to keep the house in the spotless condition it''s in now - they have two dogs and she hoovers at least once every day and seems to wash the kitchen floor several times a day.

I'm certainly not all doom and gloom; my dc2 was a breeze: ebf, fed ever 3/4 hours and slept through the night at 3 weeks, but the exhaustion and pnd I went through with dc1 was horrible and I'm a bit scared that she's going to find it all too much if it is harder than she anticipates.

Her dp has already told me that he thinks his no nonsense, get on with it attitude 'will ensure that she doesn't feel sorry for herself' after the baby's born, which I also find quite scary.

Sorry, that's a bit of a hijack, but I think your friend sounds a bit arrogant tbh OP and you sound like a very good friend. Just hope that she is willing to ease up on how she thinks her baby should behave once it's here.

SIL was like that over labour. Apparently her baby would arrive on the due date too

After a 4 day labour, 10 days late (and apparently was fairly vocal over it too, as I heard a couple of midwives at school talking-it was obviously her despite no names mentioned) she wasn't quite so confident the next time.

I miss those pre-DC1 naïve days . I'll be forever grateful to the lady in the next room when I had DS3. She screamed a lot and it was so nice knowing that someone else was going through the same thing just a few feet away.

I didn't think I was going to have a C-section either until I had one with DS4. Now I'm the other way round, no amount of the midwife saying "don't worry, you probably won't need one this time" has convinced me.

Oh and DS1 was my earliest walker at 22 months and he used a buggy regularly until he was 3.5 and sometimes until 4.

Has she ordered a baby from the magic baby shop? Hope she gets one that fits with her ideas.

Have you introduced her to MN yet? All human life is here, all possible experiences ...

Sorry to derail, but I'm pregnant with pfb and plan not to have a pram at first and just sling until baby too heavy. Is that mad and naive? I don't wasn't to look like op's friend! These big prams with tiny newborns just look over the top to me.

selsingfach I have a sling and a pram. Having had a c-section I couldn't carry the stuff we need if going for more than a pop to the shops.
Pram also useful
When we go visiting as it's somewhere to put DD to sleep or whatever!

I think you'll find a pram useful (esp if you have a section) but there's nothing wrong with waiting to see what you want when your baby is here. . I had a buggy that had a carrycot attachment (basic one unpopped the seat & popped in a carrycot insteas) and loved that. It was useful for getting ds1 & ds2 off to sleep for daytime naps as well. Not so much ds3 as he had a hammock.

selsingfach - I think it depends what you want to do, I found a pram invaluable for shopping as no way could I carry a baby AND the shopping, but others do, so depends on you! I personally loved popping out with the pram or buggy and going for a walk to she local shops, and buying stuff!

I didn't have a pram and got a second hand buggy when dc was 14 months. But we live rurally so I never did big shopping with the pram. Had a c section too and started carrying straight away. In the beginning he was so high up so nowhere near the scar. It depends in your circumstances I guess.

Thanks got the tips! I live in a rural area - 1.5 miles from the nearest village - so can't see myself carrying a week's shopping in my backpack. Will see how I fare, can always send husband out to get a cheap pram from the secondhand shop if I need a CS. Relieved to hear it's not impossible, at least with a normal birth.

Op,, your friend is barking and some of her ideas sound quite neglectful. I hope she changes her tune when baby comes.

selsig plenty of people just sling, you can sing perfectly comfortably until preschooler age or beyond. Some like to use a granny trolley for the shopping :). Not mad at all. I've tended to use both, ds1 was hardly in a pram but I used a buggy a fair bit later on. When dd was born I didn't buy a double initially, intending to sling one and push one but I had pnd and tbh I just couldn't stand to have her on me all of the time (bf too) so I got a double. Ds2 has hardly ever been in a pushchair. We still have one that gets used occasionally depending on mood but weeks and weeks can go by without us using it. He is 2 now and walks most of the time, just gets slung for school run so we actually get there on time.

the problem with a sling and shopping selsigbach is that cannot use the sling for a newborn, and then when you do use it, you need one hand free to cup the back of their head.....so that is one smallish bag of shopping....

I used a sling only for first few months and just carried her as they way nothing. I carried her in sling until 10 months altogether but less and less as she was heavy by then and I walk miles as no car. Slings are brilliant, and easy to breastfeed with.

*weigh!

Dh's friend announced that giving birth was like a pair of theatre curtains opening. It was just like that with ds1 who was back to back and needed a pair of scissors to get him out after 2 and a half hours of pushing! Dh was looking at me glaring and shaking his head at me so I wouldn't say anything.

Nigella what do you mean you can't use it for a newborn and you need ot hold their head? That's a load of twaddle I'm afraid.

Wraps both stretchy and woven, ring slings etc can be used from newborn. Stretchy wraps are great for prem babies. All can be used to give plenty of head support so you can be totally hands free. Soft structured carriers such as the ergo, manduca etc can either be used as is from newborn or with a newborn insert.

oh well maybe had the wrong kind of sling i can see you know more about it than i do.....

Can I admit to a little chuckle about the pram bit of the OP?

DS absolutely hated his carrycot part and it has been packed away having been used 4 times! (He had reflux and simply couldn't tolerate being on his back)
It's only been the last couple of months (he's now 15m) that I've been able to use the pram without knowing he's going to scream the place down.

As a tiny, it was sling all the way and with regards to a pp comment about not using a sling with a newborn - what twaddle. There's many a sling suitable for a newborn which offers plenty of support for tiny heads.

The manduca may have had the newborn insert but I'm afraid I never found it sufficient for head support and always used one hand for that till baby was some months old.
So once again, different strokes for different folks.

I would only wear a baby in a sling if you really had to (example baby won't settle). So soon after birth, I don't think it's good for the back and it will delay recovery IMHO. It's also not a good habit to get them in to.

Having said that, I did use my sling quite a bit and spent many weeks with baby sleeping on my chest all day! But this is because I had a baby with reflux and generally very fussy, and I didn't have a choice.