to just smile and nod at friends naive views on impending motherhood...

[SqutterNutBaush]

Apparently she watched OBEM last week and laughed at how pathetic the women were because "there's no need for,all the screaming and crying drama FFS" and she won't need a section because she doesn't like needles.

Her baby will stay at home with DH 5 days after birth so she can return to college as there's no need to delay, surely they can cope without a feed for 3 hours even though she wants to BF.

The baby will go in its own room from birth and it won't be a hassle getting up "what twice a night?".

The scan dates are DEFINATELY wrong because they are showing the baby as normal sized when her DH was hugely long at birth so "we've only bought 3-6 months clothing to prove them wrong"

My personal favourite "we've didn't see the need to buy a pram with seat bit so just got a carrycot one second hand as by the time she outgrows it around a year she can just walk with us"

So funny!
i was pretty naive and ended up with pnd when dd1 arrived, it is a big shock, but i don't think I was quite as bad as your friend.

i do remember thinking that late pregnancy insomnia and bladder issues meant that i would sleep more once the baby was born. This was partly my mother's fault for saying i slept through the night as soon as i came home from the hospital ( after a week or two of being looked after by nurses while she recovered) and giving me very outdated advice about feeding every four hours for ten minutes on each side. The reality soon shattered this sepia toned image, when i was up all night with a screaming baby, and then once i worked out it was every two hours, start to start, i barely had time to doze off in between feeds.

I went back to college with my first at 10 days and soon after graduated wity 2.1 with no extensions or lessons missed as had the baby in half term. With dc3 I am having the mandatory 2 weeks off and dh is bringing the baby up again. Its only a baby, the dads own child. What is wrong with this? I am also mix feedingand will be breastfeeding every night, through the night. I did this for 10 months last time with no problems.

Im definitely not a birth screamer either as I gonin the water pool every time and it is a calm atmosphere. Screaming is panicing which makes it worse.

Many people have their babies in their own rooms as if bottle feeding they have to get up anyway.

My two were 9lb 9oz and 9lb 10oz and both fit into new baby clothes!

I was one of those 'why are they screaming?!' mums, even after DC1. Once I had DC2, I knew why! Fast induction, 4-10cm in 45 mins, 16 mins pushing. So painful and no pain relief had time to work!

I remember insisting I would follow Gina Ford's method as it made perfect sense. I'd been given the book but the person I got it from neglected to mention she never really followed it until 6 months plus. Yeah thanks

The one thing I did I insist on was no visitors for the first week. I'm bloody glad as I don't think DH and I managed to get dressed most days plus I was a post birth mess! Also I could hold off "helpful" advice from well meaning family members.

georges you did amazingly well, hats off to you.
I am not suggesting any of these things are impossible, just that in advance with no experience you can't reasonably state what you will do. And when people do it makes those of us that have already been through it, and not sailed effortlessly through, feel annoyed.

I think the newborn photos in 3-6 months baby grows will be cute though... She.might want to rethink before she puts the baby down in one though, it will disappear into the fabric mountain!

Cause you can with my first I said Im not having any time off and I wont be a loud birther as am all into the hippy style natural water birth thing and then I did both. Just because some people cant doesnt mean the ops friend wont.

Can you not visit her in hospital after birth with some new baby sleepsuits?

Georges I think the point is that shit happens.
I was going to have a lovely sneeze birth. I tore, baby's head got stuck, baby got distressed, needed forceps. Not what I had hoped for. You may be lucky but not everyone is. My super fit friend was in the birth centre for a calm water birth and ended up being rushed by ambulance for an em c sec.

I did put mine in 3-6 clothes for the most part and that worked ok for me. Baby was only a little swamped!

She is anticipating giving birth to a baby the size of a 3 month oold with no screaming! Good luck to her.

DS was 10lb 5oz and I was glad when they gave me the GA needed to give the the c-section to get him out of me. Before that I had done a lot more than whimpering!

Hmm, sound like she is on for a shock!

ask her if she has talked t her MW about some of these things - baby not sleeping in her room?? really??
Could you email her some nice articles/blogs about other peoples experience, maybe something about the benefits of co sleeping (reduced risk of SIDS etc!)

Hopefully she will feel different what the little one arrives

www.pregnantchicken.com/pregnant-chicken-blog/2010/5/4/what-you-need-to-know-about-newborns.html

Is a nice read

Naive? If you're reporting accurately, she just sounds thick! Couldn't be friends with a thicko.

Tearing has nothing to do with the screaming. I lost my entire labia for life during birth 1 and dc1 came out not breathing for quite a while but they saved her but I was still didnt scream as I had been looking at c alm births for months. I think you should leave her alone rather than being one of those awful pregnancy doom and gloomys!

Oh bless her. I remember thinking similar, although not a screaming birther that side of things I was pleasantly surprised about as I did

Goodness. If she actually believes any of that she's in for a shock.

Ah, I'm sure I thought lots of stupid things beforehand too. I just can't remember them now, cos I'm so sleep deprived!

A good friend of mine is due in May, and tells me that she'll be asking her employer to let her return to work full time, but working from home, when the baby is three months old. I asked her who was going to have the baby during the day, and she looked at me as if I was mad. Apparently it will mainly be asleep, so will just slot right in with calls to clients.

I'm with you on the pram one being really quite funny.

Stupid phone.
having a newborn was like being hit with a sledgehammer. I hadn't a clue!
Luckily nobody who'd smiled and nodded at my preposterous notions gave me a deserved I told you so. I got nothing but sympathy.
And I did use my pram until dd was over one, but it's a massive ancient silver cross thing and dd loves being in it and shouting brum brum brum, she calls it her car.
She'll work it out. I would discreetly buy some newborn things for her as a present and bring then round with a sympathetic ear whilst your frazzled newly mothered mate tries to work out why her baby is its own person and doesn't want to fit in with any of her 'plans'

My first reaction was "ha ha ha ha, she's so naive" but you know, she's not going to know what's going to hit her, I feel sorry for her.

And I'm not sure I do wish her a sneeze birth, because then she'll just be smug and carry on thinking that everyone else is just pathetic and not as 'strong' as she is. Not that I wish her ill, but maybe she needs a dose of reality.

And err, how does a kid stay in a carrycot until a year old

Shes probably sensible not buying a seat pram as 99.9% of mums start using strollers than them rip off monstrosities. Shes probably wise and will save 500

sounds " definitely" klaxon to op

Ah bless, weren't we all a bit dim before our firstborns arrived? You sound like a great friend to her, all you can do is smile, nod and turn up with a pack of newborn sleepsuits in your bag!
Fwiw, I'm not sure a quick birth is always good, the mw called mine sneeze births everytime but the second and third time it happened so quickly we both went into shock and ended up on oxygen. I didn't scream though, mainly growled

Are you sure she's not just terrified and trying to hide it?

She's in for a very big shock but then I think your first dc is always a massive shock. I was so ready to have my baby. He was never having a dummy and I would get him into a routine in 3 months max. I thought that was reasonable

My ds, first dc was delivered after a 4 day labour, back to back. I was only allowed gas and air. I'm still not sure why this was the case. I am a reserved person usually but my god I screamed and swore like a drunk Navvy.

Ds was 9lb 5 I felt every bloody oz of him. 3rd degree tear and he was named a 'screamer' within hours of being on the ward! It was horrendous. He continued to cause havoc for months with colic, sleepless nights etc.

Your friend is in for one hell of a shock. Please be kind to her and watch for PND! It may appear and she may hide it . I speak from experience.

I went back to college a weeks after my baby was born although it was only part time. I still managed to get distinctions for my assignments and breast feed. My baby was also a dream baby, only waking up for feeds (twice a night) and then slept through full nights from 6 weeks.

I don't think people should be so patronising as I had my ideas before my son's birth and they all worked out perfectly so it maybe her telling you 'I told you so'

(Well maybe the csection bit is silly because how will she know how birth will work, and the carrycot part but hey she can always buy one once baby is here - no big deal)

Of course, the whole thing may hit her like a ton of bricks and all her plans may go out of the window, but also her plans may work out fine - like mine did. You just don't know. I know I certainly don't regret my optimism. You might aswell be optimistic than miserable thinking about all the things that could go wrong. That's my outlook anyway.

I think some women are so bitter/down about their own experiences, that it is forgotten that dream babies DO exist, so scorn is directed at optimistic mothers to be.

An old school friend was like this, my DC were nearing teenage when she had her first, so I was a bit wiser by then! I just nodded sagely when she told me her ideas of where I had gone wrong She developed awful PND as a result. She had been a bit of a control freak suddenly she had no control over anything. She admitted she had 'planned' her babies day. It would wake at 7, first feed at 8, bedtime 7pm...you get the picture
I had suffered severe PND myself but for the opposite reason. I had absolutely no idea what babies were like, should do or shouldn't do. My DS1 was the first baby I had picked up or been in close proximity to. I had no idea what to do! and DS1 was a horrific baby, in fact if there had been a bigger gap between pregnancies he would have an only