To expect a 20 year old to pay towards the holiday?

[MrsRGervais]

Dh and I are looking at a holiday abroad next year. It will cost a fortune as the holiday is to incorporate 4 adults and 2 children. The adults are his ds's aged 18 and 20. Now the 18 year old has special needs so can't really earn money so fair enough but Aibu to expect the 20 year old to put something towards the cost?? I really begrudge paying plane and accommodation costs for him when he's an adult and we're struggling to afford it. He's unlikely to take any spending money either as every time we've taken them somewhere he's not brought a penny with him (yet is bragging on Facebook about spending over £100 on lord of the rings memorabilia!)
DH will do doubt hit the roof at the suggestion of not paying 100% of the cost of his eldest but Aibu to suggest that he contributes? I'd certainly ask for a contribution from my own son once he was 18.

I know that DS picks and chooses which holidays he wants to come on. Of course he wants to mountain bike in Jasper and ski upstate New York and not go to Faro,where he has been a dozen times since he was a baby. Fair play. I would do the same.
However we do, as a family, spend a lot of time together. We go out for meals, go to the cinema , go to the gym, go away for weekends, so of course he is going to come on holiday with us. I have offered to pay for his girlfriend to go on one of them but she doesn't ski or ride so it's not decided yet.

I am genuinely surprised that so many 20 year olds seem to want to go on holiday with their parents, I can only speak from personal experience and I was (and am - now in my 50s ) close to my parents but would never have considered going on holiday with them after the age of 14 - neither did any of my friends, perhaps it was different growing up in the 1970s .

Equally, my DS is a young teenager now but I can honestly say I am looking forward to holidays without him .

So Ragwort, if you didn't go on holiday with your parents after 15, what did you do? Stay home alone for a week or more? I can't imagine my 15 year old would be at all happy with that.

At 16 I was told no more hols with parents without a contribution - but also I don't think they wanted me there. It was okay to, id rather have stayed at home, had lots of parties, drank my way thru the booze cupboard and had lots of sex.

Agree MrsKoala - surely that's what holidays are for when your in your teens/twenties .

Green - I would stay with my grandparents or friends; sometimes I stayed with a local family who had young children as a sort of informal au pair. But I take your point, my DS is nearly 15 and I would not leave him alone if we went away on holiday.

Life was much simpler growing up in the 70s .

I didnt go on holiday with my parents after i was about 15 I was left a t home with my nana this was in the early 80s this will be the first year i will have been anywhere with my parents since i was 15 we are all going god knows how it will be tbh but i am sure it will be fine , dont get me wrong if we were not going abroad dd1 would not want to go with us week in the caravan a week abroad she knows what she prefers , and she did pay for herself so why not