AIBU to buy my son a dress for his 3rd Birthday

[thebadwife]

Just that really, I have always tried to dress my son in the most practical clothes for the activities of the day. The colour has never been important, which when was younger led to him being assumed to be a girl as often as he was a boy. Sometimes he wore leggings but mostly standard trousers, t-shirts and jumpers nothing particularly exciting, experimental or political.

However I have just had a daughter and my friends and family have been very generous and given us some lovely clothes for her which have included a few dresses. My son has always commented positively when I wear dresses, but has been really jealous of these tiny dresses and has asked several times if he can wear them. I told him they were too small but I would buy him a dress for his birthday in May. I have mentioned it to a few people and they have looked at me like I am crazy.

So AIBU?

I think it is hypocritical for only boys to be allowed and approved off to play with princess things and dresses, yes very very much so. I think if its so okay for boys to be interested in such toys and clothes it should therefore be okay for girls also.

Hence me agreeing with your point let all children play with all toys.

Otherwise it is hypocritical.

I'm yet to meet a parent who bans their daughter from playing with dolls but insists that their son does.

Am loving the 'you don't want to appear too liberal' posts.

If that's what he'd like for his birthday then why not?

We got abuse from a lady in a shop once when Ds was playing with his dolly. Apparently by 'letting' him play with a doll he would grow up confused. Whilst she was giving me her opinion (ranting) he pulled out a toy gun. That was a whole new rant from said lady!

Can't win!

squoosh I'm saying on MN this seems to be the consensus! In RL boys generally don't wear dresses yet on MN it's very much encouraged.

In RL some girls enjoy dolls and dresses and pink. Yet on MN the view is very much against this and if posters were to write their dd loved dolls and pink etc, they would most certainly get a flaming.

My point was on MN it is hypocritical for boys to ve encouraged to enjoy such interests yet frowned upon for girls.

I can't real make myself much clearer than that. It looks like we're going to have to respectfully disagree with each other.

My son asked for a dress when he was three. It was not long after DD had come along, and he wanted to know why girls wore dresses and boys didn't, he was curious. He mentioned it several times, so I bought one for him. He wore it a few times, seemed to like how free he was underneath

After a while, he grew tired of it. But who cares if he wore it or not?

yep, I'm with your friends and no I wouldn't do it in RL

but if it's a fantasy MN party then go ahead. plenty will agree with you.

LetTheRiverAnswer

Waves to fellow Tiny Viking fan!!

why not get rid of all your daughters dresses and just let her wear trousers, I think you are trying to make a point and indulging your son let him wear a dress of yours to dress up with but no i wouldnt buy him a dress just because you think he wants one

I'd be inclined to buy lots of interesting things from a charity shop that would make a brilliant dressing up box: hats, scarves, dresses, waistcoats, belts - and some props to go with them perhaps. Then the "dressing up box" (or bin bag ) can be the birthday present. Imagination given full reign with no judgement or hidden "liberal" agenda.

He's 3. If he said he wanted, say, a Mike the Knight suit, would you buy it? If yes, buy the dress. Don't make it an issue for him when it's not. Anyway, he'll be bored of it within a fortnight (as he would be the Mike costume) if my 3 year old is anything to go by .

I never bought DSs a dress but both boys would happily dress up in my clothes. I have fond memories of 3 year old DS1 wearing a shocking pink satin top which was down to his ankles.

He's 18 now and the dressing up box is just a distant memory.

We had a Belle Disney store dress in DS1's fancy dress box for visiting children who didn't want to be a fireman, policeman, monster or pirate. It became DS2's favourite. He wore it to the school nursery a few times - with blonde curly longish hair there were many double takes.

Now he's nearly 8 he no longer wears it, but does like to be draped in blankets, sarongs or old voile curtains. I think it's the texture - he's a clothes 'feeler' like me :)

PS Not sure where I got 3 from...if wrong, sorry!

Doh - reread your OP but not the title. So he will be 3.

Yanbu I really don't see the issue. I don't have a son but one of my three daughters chooses to wear 'boys' clothes and I don't really care what people think

My mum made bridesmaids dresses for my friends four year old daughter AND three year old son, at his request, when she got married. Twenty years on it doesnt seem to have done lasting harm

UptheChimney Wed 19-Mar-14 14:59:20

In this country, all children used to wear dresses until about the age of 6 or so, I think, and then boys would be dressed in britches.

for a proper PC statement make sure it's pink or purple and covered in glitter and sequins.

must be patterned too, I recommend butterflies.

and I think "I'm a pretty Princess" statement printed on dress is inevitable

My almost two year old son has a classy Peppa Pig dress he personally pulled out of a bin in a charity shop and refused to let go of.

The mental image of this made me smile

Like other posters have said, I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Giving a dress as a birthday present seems to make it more of a statement.

Verlaine's post about a dressing up box sounds fab. He could pick some random charity shop stuff and create outfits! I would love to see a dress, cape and pirate eye patch combo.

Vivi, it's the single nastiest-looking garment I've ever set eyes on, in the world's cheapest cotton, but he adores it. Thank god it's white and even he can see it occasionally needs to go in the wash.

I'm confused by those people who think that not getting hysterical about your son wearing dresses is an exclusively online phenomenon - unless you are all cyberbots, I assume you are real, and don't pretend to hold opposite views just for kicks online?

I assure the doubters that I am in fact a human being with a human (frequently all too human) toddler son, who really lost his heart to a real Peppa Pig dress in a real charity shop. He genuinely adores it, and I assure you that I did not spend all of 50p on it to demonstrate my liberal credentials or to 'make a statement'.

My interest in what other people think of what a one-year-old wears is absolutely minimal. There was just no reason not to buy a cheap garment he'd lost his heart to, apart, obviously, from seeing myself in a DM headline in 20 years, pointing at the offending dress under the headline PEPPA MADE MY SON A CROSS-DRESSER.

There is no way I would buy my son a dress for his birthday. Am sure there are other things he would like better. My dd loves to wear boys clothes. She is 6. She loves to wear a denim shirt, a tie, tracksuit bottoms and a cap. I never stop her wearing them but I would find it hard to buy her boys clothes. She robs her brothers who is 5.

DS still has dresses at age seven.
We tend to get them from charity shops if he spots them. He used to go for the full-on frou-frou effect but has more recently opted for a more utilitarian look.

He wears them at might and in front of a few friends who we know don't care. He's v socially adept that way.

Trying to be too liberal! We just really don't give it a thought!

He's had a few friends express discomfort, and we've always said he has to decide if he wants the dress or the friend more at that moment in time.

I dread to think what kind of man my daughter's will end up marrying, wearing dresses and playing with dolls!

Ha ha ha!

Just have a dressing up box with old clothes and things from car boot sales and charity shops. I wouldn't buy anything new.