AIBU to buy my son a dress for his 3rd Birthday

[thebadwife]

Just that really, I have always tried to dress my son in the most practical clothes for the activities of the day. The colour has never been important, which when was younger led to him being assumed to be a girl as often as he was a boy. Sometimes he wore leggings but mostly standard trousers, t-shirts and jumpers nothing particularly exciting, experimental or political.

However I have just had a daughter and my friends and family have been very generous and given us some lovely clothes for her which have included a few dresses. My son has always commented positively when I wear dresses, but has been really jealous of these tiny dresses and has asked several times if he can wear them. I told him they were too small but I would buy him a dress for his birthday in May. I have mentioned it to a few people and they have looked at me like I am crazy.

So AIBU?

Didn't explain that v well

If I didn't accept it then I wouldn't be with him, IYSWIM.

I've known many cross-dressers in my life.

Bluepen - that's a very good point!

It'll be going on forever, 1944girl!

"My DS is doing his first Mars landing next week!"
"Oh how lovely. Johnny's not back from Callisto until August..."

EBearhug don't be a picky pick.

obviously babies aren't born cross dressers but I meant that the wanting to is inbred like being gay/straight.

yes bluepen, cos it's exactly the same thing isn't it?

I dunno...
If we didn't have signifiers like clothes to reflect gender, what would men with the impulse do? Shave? Get electrolysis to remove facial hair?

A lot of my cross dressing chums said that they found the model of masculinity that they'd been brought up with was wrong...too shallow and brutal. Dressing as a woman...and we're not talking like FooFoo Lamarr or Lily Savage, helped them to get back to what they felt was the real them.

It's a tough old conundrum alright.

To be fair, Lacka, I found it an interesting Q because it made me think about where the boundaries are.
It is different because it's a big statement for a man to make, and you'd probably face questions from people about an adult man's sexuality that people wouldn't ask about a boy's.

I wonder whether people, as adults, enjoy seeing photos of themselves as a three year old dressed in this way.

Or just feel they've been mocked and misled for the amusement of others.

Just a thought.

Only a thought by someone with half a brain...

Another question..were adults who cross dressed allowed to express themselves as children, or were they mocked and ridiculed and so forced underground with it?

Just a thought...

and I have many other photos of my DS, which do not involve dresses, that I am saving for the mocked and misled for the amusement of others pile. Most involve silly wigs and hats.

I can't see them being happy about it if you get old photos out to show their girlfriend or future children, as mum56789 says.
I still think that some people have 2 rules and if their DD chose a really frothy and flouncy dress in pink they would refuse to buy it and yet if it happened to be there son it is suddenly OK.
On one hand they get all upset about advertising and gender, and everything in pink, and they really don't want their DD to fall for it but they are quite happy if their son does.

There's many a photo of me looking daft as a kid. Many. Bad clothes / peeing behind a tree / naked in the bath etc etc.

I have never ever felt mocked or misled. D'you know why? Coz I was a KID and looking daft in photos goes with the territory. If there were a photo of me dressed as a 'boy', I'd just think 'blimey, I had some bad taste in clothes back in the day' and that's it.

applauds singlepringle.

I think people need to stopmprojecting their own insecurities and gender bias on their children.

My DS has a wicked sense of humour; he will see the photos for what they are; him looking proud and happy regardless of what he is wearing. He has the same expression when wearing a silly wig or eating chocolate cake...

You really can't know what they will think when older. They have completely different memories, they remember things that you have forgotten, and things that you thought were wonderful memories they have forgotten.

but you can? double standards, much?

I wouldn't buy a pink, frothy dress for a girl either. At 3 years they get my choice. You don't get away with it for long so you might as well hold on to it for as long as possible.

I didn't even take them clothes shopping when they were only 3 yrs, I went on my own it is much simpler.

Only a thought by someone with half a brain...

Oh, insults for those who disagree with you. So nobody who disagrees with you is allowed to post?

no, insults for people who are telling me I am mocking and misleading my child so I can deliberately humiliate them when they are older.

just a thought.

They are just clothes. Let him wear what he wants. If you look back on yourself wearing something a bit different as a child and feel ashamed about it then you are quite a sad adult.

obviously babies aren't born cross dressers but I meant that the wanting to is inbred like being gay/straight.

But that still doesn't make sense. How can something be inborn when there's nothing inborn about wearing clothes at all, let alone any particular style?

SinglePringle exactly like me in my saggy purple knitted dress(my goodness my taste has improved) or my son as a bumble bee. I don't know anyone who doesn't (jokingly) complain about embarrassing childhood photos. It would be far worse to have had a childhood where no one took photos like that.