To hate stupid wedding dress codes

[Lambzig]

Can I just have a quick moan about wedding dress themes imposed on guests?

DH and I have a wedding to go to in June where just had the invitation and the women are asked to wear white (the men black tie).

I look hideous and washed out in white and never buy it. I now have to try and find a flattering white dress. My DD4's dress will be white for ten seconds. I bet the bride is wearing a red dress and thinks she is being oh so original.

It makes me feel like I am photo shoot backdrop rather than a guest.

Before you say don't go if you don't like it, it is a good college friend of DH, I have known the groom for ten years, we don't live close, but see them about four times a year and it was looking forward to it.

Ok spoke to the bride.

The dress code is black tie for men and boys, white evening dress for ladies, preferably long, definitely glamorous. She assumed that white will be interpreted as off white, ivory and nude shades too. She is going to send out an email and seems embarrassed by the whole thing and claims it was her fiances idea and that they need to confer and might change it to any colour. I felt a bit sorry for her as she is clearly getting grief about it.

She is wearing 'a colour'.

I will await the email.

Oh well at least that opens your options up a little. But still sounds naff.

Could you sort of nudge her in the direction of 'black, white or grey' evening dress?

Sod that! I wouldn't be wearing white, I would be putting my own interpretation on the dress code. I would stick to a pastel colour so there is no chance of clashing with the bride, but I wouldn't be wearing a uniform!

What about a coloured dress but one with white in and a HUGE white tablecloth wrap

'Nude' is more promising.

So she basically wants all the women in evening gowns? Does she think everyone going is made of money? Why don't people think about how their bizarre requests are going to impact on their guests! At least she's having a rethink now.

Op I have a fabulous black and white floor length dress in a vaguely deco style I would be happy to loan. I think it is a size 16 or 18. I'll add a picture later when I've got the laptop out...

If she opens it up even to encompass nude, grey and silver then that's a lot easier.

After reading a wedding invite which had an actual Pantone reference colour for the beige they wanted guests to wear nothing really surprises me.

I tend to politely decline these types of invites now.

Actually why not go and buy a second hand 1980's Laura Ashley white wedding dress from the local newspaper.

That'll make the photos "pop".

Obviously I can spell and meant wear

If she is being pressured into it that doesn't sound great. It is her day too..

this might meet the criteria?

Pictures taken from google as pictures of me actually wearing it are hideous

She does realise in June, when hopefully the sun will be out, all the women will look like light bulbs in the photo's doesn't she? Best hope for an overcast day.

Toga. Definitely toga.
Look online, but you use a great big semi circle of fabric (buy something silky at haberdashers) and fold and tuck in all the right places.

Honestly, what is the matter with ppl. Dress codes are for bridesmaids FGS.

I like professional killer's dress, although the fact that it looks hideous on doesn't sound good.

Professional that's a beautiful dress and a very kind offer, but not my size. Thank you though.

I think if the dress code stays the same, I will go for that sort of look, very elegant but not bridal.

Honestly, I think if everyone is wearing white, ivory, nude colours the photos will look awful with the bride in bright red/green/orange. It won't look good will it?

I will wait and see what the email says. She sounded a bit upset on the phone so perhaps people have been a bit harsh.

What a pain! I agree that this makes you feel like an accessory and like your presence is not enough

I support everyone's right to get married exactly the way that they want to, but I don't really understand why making sure your guests are considered adequately isn't a factor when making plans either.

IMO, having happy guests is the most important thing if you want to have a great day and imposing a very restrictive dress code is bound to irk some people.

I reckon that most guests would struggle to find a white dress that wasn't too 'wedding dressy' unless they were quite young and could pull of something a bit cute or sexy. I don't think you would be the only person who was a bit creative with their interpretation of wearing white, but I do think it would be rude to flout it completely.

Maybe a pastel colour with a white wrap or cardigan?

Poor bride, not thinking it through.

Are you young ish ? there are masses of white/white ish prom type dresses around (I speak as a mother attempting to buy a teenager a prom dress ....) - new or e bay; and that selection from quietbat looks very promising. Last year for the Lower sixth prom (oh yes, one prom not enough) we got a really pretty dress with a white top and flowers up from the bottom from mango, quite cheap, and v wearable again as a sort of v neck sleeveless top, not strapless. try prom dresses on line.

They haven't thought it through have they. If you are having trouble and you are a college friend I bet aunty Beryl who is 82 is in a real dither. In retrospect I am so grateful to my mum and dad for being 'old fashioned' and putting the kibosh on my more stupid wedding ideas.

But on second thoughts I do quite like Wally Banter's idea. This is your moment!