To hate stupid wedding dress codes

[Lambzig]

Can I just have a quick moan about wedding dress themes imposed on guests?

DH and I have a wedding to go to in June where just had the invitation and the women are asked to wear white (the men black tie).

I look hideous and washed out in white and never buy it. I now have to try and find a flattering white dress. My DD4's dress will be white for ten seconds. I bet the bride is wearing a red dress and thinks she is being oh so original.

It makes me feel like I am photo shoot backdrop rather than a guest.

Before you say don't go if you don't like it, it is a good college friend of DH, I have known the groom for ten years, we don't live close, but see them about four times a year and it was looking forward to it.

A white maxi evening dress is basically a nightie. I've only owned one white dress(not actually my wedding dress,it was black velvet) I looked terrible in it and despite being white didn't go with anything.

I used to have a black dinner suit which I wore with a woman's dress shirt from Pinks with cufflinks and a bow tie.

The only white dresses I could contemplate wearing are a very old but fabulous Laura Ashley 50s style white circle dress which is a white background but with a vivid flower print and a very similar Vivienne Westwood "figure of eight" dress. I would be happy with black and white but not white on its own.

Oh please wear Debbie's white towelling evening dressing-gown!

I've just been googling too and some of the shit that's out there at the moment is quite disturbing! Agree with Caitlin re. nighties - just looking at this ASOS page had me really worried that some people would look like they forgot to get dressed. The long t-shirt dress just looks like a mental hospital gown as well! ; and the one with the cerise embellishment, well they've either done that deliberately or they're remarkably dense - the frontal placement of that is very, err, suggestive!

But there is the occasional reasonable dress in there.

Thanks all, black looks hideous on me too, but might have been easier.

I have headed over to style and beauty as the consensus seems to be go along with it as close as possible or wear a tux (or don't go and I don't want to do that, I think it will be a lovely weekend away).

I will get in touch with some of the other women going and ask what they are wearing to assess the degree of compliance with it.

It is rude though.

Inertia preferably over a second hand mad woman in the attic Victorian nightdress.

Apart from actual brides almost no one looks good in white.

I've never heard of such a specific request. I've heard of say, an item of purple, but not that the whole outfit needs to be 1 colour. I hate white, look awful in it, don't own it, would need to buy something for that 1 occasion never-to-be-worn-again and I wouldn't be happy about it.

Another black and white one here for £16? Not white next to the face, which I'd prefer.

Is cream acceptable?

Why am I not surprised they asked for cash? I would do what EE suggests. Dictating a white evening dress is fucking rude.

Why an evening dress? Are they having a late afternoon wedding, or are you an evening only guest being told to splash out on evening wear and hand over money?

Thumbwitch, that page has made me snort tea through my nose, some of those are hideous. The only nice ones are bridal, it's most odd.

Very few people can carry off a white outfit even brides

I'd go in whatever smart outfit you have. I guess they have asked rather than ordered?

Yes late afternoon wedding, seated reception, then party, staying overnight and then the wedding extravanga continues all the Sunday too with lots of events. It's a gorgeous location and accommodation paid for by the couple and all children welcome.

Hen and stag parties are reasonable in time and cost and the brides hen do is paid for by the brides family.

So, they were doing really well on the generous, considerate non bride/groomzilla front apart from the dress code.

I don't begrudge the cost of the dress, especially because of the above, just hate the concept and just hate to feel like a set extra rather than a guest.

It is very annnoying, I too look awful in white, however this fact did lead me to notice the large number of whitish dresses in the new mint velvet catalogue when it plopped through my letter box this morning, www.mintvelvet.co.uk/dresses/dept/fcp-category/list?resetFilters=true.

I'd go for separates, perhaps a white top with a skirt or a pastel top with white trousers.

and some lovely ones in LK Bennet, www.lkbennett.com/Clothing/Dresses/c/clothing-dresses?q=:price-desc:parentColour:White:parentColour:Cream&text=

They are nice, but I am thinking it means long. I am going to have to ask.

I suspect not everyone will actually wear a white dress. Where what you want.

OP, look at Vivien of Holloway, she does really good fun 50's style dresses in all colours, including white and ivory. Some people do wear these as wedding dresses but they'd be of the more alternative variety. I was looking at one for my wedding! Really lovely though.

this one is on sale

Long and white, oh dear, you will all look more like the bride than the bride by the sounds of it! On the off chance short are allowed, there are also some gorgeous white dresses here, www.bhldn.com/bridal-party-guests-partygoers/

I agree not everyone will wear white especially if it was stated in small print, if you're ditsy like me you'll note the main details on the calender and it'll get lost under a sea of paperwork.

How about wearing your gold dress with a white, floaty, gauzy shawl thing?

Ha! The bride would hate my aunt who rocked up at our wedding in an orange jumper and brown cords. That was smart dress too! Not that we cared, but a few people have commented along the lines of "who on earth is that random who managed to get in the pictures?!"

I went to a wedding once where the photos took almost 3 hours. With lots of running at the camera type shots. In a heat wave. With no food. Just bubbly. I had to go for a lie down and some paracetamol before I could face the evening do!

Do you like velvet? What about getting one of these in white or silver velvet?

YANBU. I would hate that, especially as you will have to buy something especially for it, and then not be able to wear it again.