To be put off by this?

[DomesticDisgrace]

Please tell me I'm being unreasonable! I met this really really lovely guy today and I was hoping he'd ask me out because we hit it off instantly! When I came home he did and I was absolutely delighted, we decided on the cinema and he texted saying "I'll book the tickets, can you look after the grub?"
I can't help but be really put off by him now, I'm disgusted with myself
I haven't been on a date in about six years as I was with my ex and he wasn't working for the majority of our relationship so I'm super scared of ending up with a stinge (this guy is working by the way)

Am I being horrible? It's really put me off him!

fodder makes me think of pitchforks of silage. Not attractive. Or relevent to poor OP

Fodder is posher than grub although grub can be posh but only if you're actually extremely posh.

"Grub" if said in a lovely RP Old Etonian accent a la Tom Hiddleston or Nick from Bluestone 42 is fine.

Arf. Precisely - makes me think of farming, therefore the Archers and EU subsidies.

Whereas grub makes me think of grubs in lettuce. And general grubbiness - clothes, carpets, hair.

Funny how associations can be so different eh?

Sorry x posted

I would give him a chance, you obviously did really like him before the text. I do think its a bit off if he's checking who is going to be paying for food as it comes across a bit penny pinching, however maybe he didn't really think through how it could come across. He would probably be mortified if he knew! And I don't think grub is that bad. Hope you have a nice time.

I think maybe he said "grub" to be matey or humorous. I suspect he agonised over the use of that word, simply because it is a bit odd in that context.

It wouldn't put me off though. If anything I'd think he's all the nicer for being so nervous he thought so carefully about the wording, even if it did come off a bit strangely.

Remember too how easy it is to misconstrue texts and how hard tone is to convey. Give the guy a chance.

I have no idea what was wrong with his text. I also think you can have no idea what someone's like from one text.

Man alive! The poor guy is being pulled apart from a two sentence text.

Don't be so sensitive. Forget it, go and have a good time! (And report back)

He means you get the popcorn and he'll get the tickets.

It is entirely reasonable to split the cost. Why should he pay?

If he was expecting it all done in minute detail and he paid for his ticket and exactly what he bought for food, then that would be red flags but he's not.

If that puts you off then put the poor bloke out of his misery so he can find someone who isn't residing in the 1950s.

I'm a bit puzzled by those of you who think it's ok. It's not the making sure the costs are divided equally bit but more what the hell is he on about?

It's a really odd thing to say.

He's saying he'll buy the tickets and she can buy the popcorn and drinks. I have pretty much the same conversation with my friends when we go to the cinema.

yabu op way ott

btw I say grub

Give him a chance OP he might be anxious about the right etiquette on a date too. My now DH was worried about paying on our first dates as other women had been huffy about anti-feminist practices of being bought for. OTOH I dumped a guy who expected me to drive to his town and go halves on cinema tickets...

Em, maybe since you refused to let him pay for his coffee he's just saying that he's buying the cinema tickets but you can pay for the food because he thinks that you would be insulted by him trying to pay for you.

Also, I'm pretty sure that the OP is Irish from her phrasing and the word grub is common slang for food in Ireland - more so than in the UK.

If the OP is Irish, which it sounds like she is, the fact that he's asking her to pay for the popcorn before the ink is even dry on their date arrangements, is a Bad Sign to say the least.

My DH is Irish, and whenever we go out with his friends and/or family there is a massive song and a dance every time a round is got in, or something has to be paid for. Everyone clambers to do it, horrified at the notion of other people picking up the tab.

My FIL swiped DH's wallet off him in a taxi once, in a bid to stop DH paying for it (and we only realised it was missing the next day on our way to Italy on holiday - long story, but most disasterous holiday ever ).

A bloke asking someone else to pick up the tab (and for popcorn, no less) before the date is even off the ground would be ... an oddity to say the least.

Wow. Poor guy never really stood a chance here really. He's apparently "really lovely" (direct quote), but the majority here think that one slang word for food should mean no chance. I wouldn't use the word myself as I don't overly like it (it's ambiguous what he said generally anyway) but neither would I judge someone totally, simply for using it once. The level of snobbery on display here is really sad. Pretty much everyone I've ever been with has said something at some point I either didn't much like or wouldn't say, but you know - people generally are about a little more than one slang word.

Okay, I would not know what was meant by grub make reservations for dinner before/after? Buy snacks when in theater? Bring snacks and sneak them in?! so if I were you I would have to text back and ask what he meant. But I really think you should go. Remember, you've already spent time with him and you think he's lovely! People have moments when they just say stupid things or say things stupidly, mumsnet is full of threads on that, don't hold it against him so early that he sent an awkward text.

And if you are Irish, then I really want to know how QueenStromba could tell that

Keatsie Exactly ! I'd be really puzzled by it.
If I'd got that I'd have thought he was expecting me to cook,not buy popcorn (and if it were popcorn he is expecting he'd be very disappointed)

Wouldn't bother me at all!

What's wrong with the word grub?

I think you need to text him back and ask him to clarify what he means by 'look after the grub.'

It could be anything from

I'll pay for the tickets and you pay for the popcorn

I'll book the tickets, you bring some food and we'll split the cost equally at the end

I'll buy pay for the tickets and you'll take me home for a pizza afterwards - frozen is fine.

I'll pay for the cinema and you'll buy me a three course dinner in the Knob's Gastro Pub.

Instead of over-thinking it why don't you just ask him?

Just text Hi, by 'grub' what did you have in mind, and are we splitting the cost of the evening or what?'

"would you get away!" is a very Irish thing to say KeatsiePie - it's not something I've heard anyone say in the ten years I've lived in London.

YABU

Being single's absolutely fine, which is good, as that's how you're likely to stay if you're this picky. I don't like the word "grub", but meh, so what. One of my best friends hates that I call carbonated beverages "pop"; we've managed to get over it.

If I was going to the cinema, I'd be buying my malteasers from Tesco in advance.