Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be considering having the odd small glass of wine whilst pregnant?

130 replies

KitKat1985 · 12/03/2014 11:20

Hello all. :)

I found out I was pregnant in early January. It was planned and me and DH were very happy. I abstained from alcohol the minute I found out. However, I can't deny I do miss relaxing with a glass of wine. (To be clear I've never been a heavy drinker, usually having a glass, or maybe two, 3-4 times a week beforehand). I am nearly about to finish the first trimester (12+5 today) and am wondering if it would be terrible just to have a small glass of wine about once a week? For example am probably going to go out for dinner with DH this Saturday (I work a lot of weekends, and DH doesn't, so it's nice for us to do something as a couple when we both get the day off together). AIBU? If you saw a pregnant woman in a restaurant drinking a glass of wine would you think she was in the wrong? Am genuinely interested in what other women do about alcohol when pregnant.

OP posts:
Norfolknway · 12/03/2014 11:24

I wouldn't bat an eyelid...unless she was rolling about the floor puggled Smile
I had the odd glass of wine through my 2 pregnancies and the odd person commented on it - but nobody really cared.

My GP was really relaxed and said 1-2 units 1-2 times per week.

By the way, my 2 DC are pretty normal...sort of Wink

FederationPresidentBarryFife · 12/03/2014 11:25

Of course YANBU. A glass of wine is fine. I had a glass every other day or so I suppose throughout both my pregnancies as I like a glass of red with dinner. I didn't have spirits, though there is no logical reason why not as long as you keep to just two units or so (a glass).

TBH I think a glass of red wine if you fancy it is good for you! And our NCT tutor told us to have a glass of something once labour started to help relax you in the early stages!!!

NigellasDealer · 12/03/2014 11:27

i am sure the odd glass of wine would not hurt - i was quite a big drinker before i got pregnant but somehow did not fancy alcohol at all nor did i want to be around drinkers.
nonetheless i did have the very odd can of Guiness, it slipped down a treat.

LadyMacmuff · 12/03/2014 11:28

I don't think YABU to consider it...But..

All the advice says don't do it! TBH you are not going to be able to have much are you - so is it even worth it? You certainly won't be able to have enough to 'relax'.

I am being a hypocrite as I had a glass of champagne for special occasions through all my pregnancies, but soon there will be lots of people along to tell you all about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and other terrors so my advice is do as I say not as I've done!

Not really worth the worry IMO. Have a non-alcoholic cocktail at the restaurant instead! (congrats on pregnancy by the way Smile)

TheScience · 12/03/2014 11:28

1-2 units, once or twice a week is fine. I probably had a couple of units every 2-3 weeks - either a spritzer with a meal out, or I would buy one of those miniature wine bottles to have at home as they say the number of units on the bottle.

QueenofKelsingra · 12/03/2014 11:29

I carried on having the odd glass of wine, I also carried on eating peanuts, shellfish, soft cheese and pate - not all the time but when I fancied it. people get way to worked up about this stuff. enjoy your wine!

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 12/03/2014 11:29

Opinions on this are very polarised. Expect the following phrases:

'Why take the risk?'
'It's only nine months'
'Would you put wine in a newborn's bottle?'

And then a barrage of well reasoned posts explaining why the above are ignorant nonsense.

Also, someone will accuse you of alcohol dependency.

This topic really irritates me but I always get drawn in!

(And, yes, I think it's fine to have the occasional glass).

TheBody · 12/03/2014 11:29

yes that's fine, and if anyone looks judgy you can slap them and blame the hormones.

lot of old crap spouted at pregnant women now.

I had my first child 24 years ago and the last 14 years ago and the advice changes with whoever has the research grant.

enjoy a glass it's fine.

CailinDana · 12/03/2014 11:29

Yanbu. One arsehole ex friend tried to stop me drinking a small glass of wine while pg but then he also tried to mansplain labour and said women wearing revealing clothes are "sexually assaulting" men so I wouldn't worry about anyone who judges as they're not likely to be worth bothering about.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 12/03/2014 11:30

tbh, I can't remember how much I drank. It was only a tiny bit and rarely. It it gave me horrible acid.

I don't think there is any evidence that an occasional drink causes damage.

I read an article only the other day funnily enough, about alcohol link to premature birth

here

here

based on a survey apparently by the university of leeds. But I don't think even that study says that 1 glass a week is any risk at all. And of course, it does rely on people truthfully recording their intake.

If you were chugging a litre of whisky a night, that would be a very clear cut matter but I think that you have to read up on the latest research and reach whatever decision you feel is right.

StealthPolarBear · 12/03/2014 11:31

Current advice is not to - just to clarify.
I would and did drink when pregnant.

StealthPolarBear · 12/03/2014 11:33

Lol jellyandcake I think that is an excellent summarybof how this thread will go.
shall I start
dont yoh love your bubs? What's 9 months to completely eliminate any risk?

There we go, that's that one done :o

TinyTear · 12/03/2014 11:34

I waited until Christmas to have a glass (due end of January).

You are lucky enough to be pregnant and to have a viable pregnancy. Why take the risk?

Yes it's a cliché but having recurrent miscarriages I do not take the risks when pregnant.

MysweetAudrina · 12/03/2014 11:35

I don't drink so obviously didnt drink when I was pregnant but would not pass any remark on a pregnant woman enjoying a glass of wine with their meal.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici · 12/03/2014 11:35

Doesn't someone also normally come along and say how pregnant women used to be advised to drink Guinness?

FederationPresidentBarryFife · 12/03/2014 11:35

you are not going to be able to have much are you - so is it even worth it

but she's not drinking to get drunk! (I assume!) she's drinking for the nice taste of wine and the convivial atmosphere of sharing wine over a meal. It is SO FINE.

At the risk of starting a xenophobic war of words... the French drink wine throughout their pregnancies and to the best of my knowledge: there are babies (and clever ones at that) in France.

tak1ngchances · 12/03/2014 11:36

Current advice: from my consultant obstetrician, last Saturday (can you get more current than that?)
"A small glass of nice wine once or twice a week is fine".

TheScience · 12/03/2014 11:38

TinyTear - but you did take the risk, by having a glass at Christmas Confused

whois · 12/03/2014 11:38

A couple of units (so a small pub glass of wine, not a large one) once or twice a week does not lead to feotal alcohol syndrome.

Is there any real evidence that a small amount of alcohol damages the baby?

I would be comfortable with drinking lightly and wouldn't judge a pg lady having a glass if wine with a meal. I probably would judge if you were rolling around on the floor drunk or nailing jäger bombs at the bar!

StealthPolarBear · 12/03/2014 11:39

That may br your consultant s advicr but it is not the current official advice

QueenofKelsingra · 12/03/2014 11:39

federation likewise, try telling the French to leave off the long list of 'forbidden' pregnancy foods! I decided that being married to a Frenchman I was thereby justified and following the French example!

StealthPolarBear · 12/03/2014 11:40

" Is there any real evidence that a small amount of alcohol damages the baby?"

As far as I am aware the answer is no, no such evidence exists

Curlyweasel · 12/03/2014 11:42

Yanbu imho. It's hardly excessive drinking and I would imagine most would be absorbed before it got to baby in any case. I have the occasional glass of wine (with a nice meal) and sometimes a low alcohol beer when I really fancy it (am 32 weeks). White wine with loads of ice in is lovely and doubles your quantity without increasing it iyswim.

Reading up thread - I may even risk some pate as it's driving me nuts (which I also eat) that I'm not allowed to have it!

Guess it all depends on how risk averse you are. There will be some here who say you will be directly harming your baby - others who will encourage you to partake in a careful/measured way. I'm with the latter. Good luck! xx

TinyTear · 12/03/2014 11:43

The Science at 8 months I did take the risk. And it was a one off...

I wasn't planning a regular thing the moment the first trimestre ended.

A one off - birthday, Christmas, celebrations - probably fine.
In my mind (and apologies if I sound I am overreacting but I have just had mc number 5 so probably should be kept away from a computer) planning a regular once a week, I wouldn't.

And basically the answer is I would not judge seeing a pregnant woman in a restaurant with a glass of wine as I would think it was a one off special celebration...

I think it's the 'one a week' that got to me... not even once a month...

Again, I do not mean to offend anyone, We were askied for our opinion and I am giving mine

VikingLady · 12/03/2014 11:44

My DM had the Guinness advice!

It's also not been long in evolutionary terms since we drank low alcohol beer all the time as water was often too polluted. I wouldn't (and didn't!) worry too much.