AIBU to be considering having the odd small glass of wine whilst pregnant?

[KitKat1985]

Hello all. :)

I found out I was pregnant in early January. It was planned and me and DH were very happy. I abstained from alcohol the minute I found out. However, I can't deny I do miss relaxing with a glass of wine. (To be clear I've never been a heavy drinker, usually having a glass, or maybe two, 3-4 times a week beforehand). I am nearly about to finish the first trimester (12+5 today) and am wondering if it would be terrible just to have a small glass of wine about once a week? For example am probably going to go out for dinner with DH this Saturday (I work a lot of weekends, and DH doesn't, so it's nice for us to do something as a couple when we both get the day off together). AIBU? If you saw a pregnant woman in a restaurant drinking a glass of wine would you think she was in the wrong? Am genuinely interested in what other women do about alcohol when pregnant.

I have just one word you might want to consider: HEARTBURN.

Wine was a complete no no for me as I got bigger, the pain of that burning indigestion from alcohol could keep you awake for HOURS.

But I wouldn't judge you, no. Just pointing out you probably won't even want to indulge.

I had my booking in appointment this morning, as I sat in the waiting room BBC breakfast were discussing the possibility of criminal negligence claims for children born with FAS (against their mothers)... the midwife rolled her eyes and muttered something about extreme behaviour v common sense. I think I'm going to like my midwife!

I wouldn't bat an eyelid. When I had mine advice was 1-2 units a couple of times a week was fine.

I didn't drink much, I've never been a drinker and all day and all night sickness turned me right off it, but I did have a thing for ice cold shandies during the later part of my pregnancies - half an inch of beer to half a pint of lemonade, and had one most nights - probably worked out to a cans worth of beer a week at most - I did get a few comments but my midwife said it was way below the guidelines so to take no notice

Some big studies were done in Denmark on the effect of alcohol in pregnancy - basically by tracking pregnant women until the children were 5. They found no adverse effects on children of up to 8 drinks a week so 1-2 drinks a week is really playing it safe imo.
www.bjog.org/details/news/2085661/Danish_studies_suggest_low_and_moderate_drinking_in_early_pregnancy_has_no_adver.html

OP, you have to find a level of risk you are comfortable with and ignore everyone else's opinions.

It is impossible to eliminate every risk in pregnancy. How many people avoid all chemicals, including moisturisers and cleaning products? We are advised to - www.rcog.org.uk/news/rcog-release-mothers-be-should-be-aware-unintentional-chemical-exposures-say-experts

I personally did not worry about low levels of alcohol, chemicals in toiletries or food packaging, the risk of salmonella from eggs, rare steaks. I did take listeria seriously. Ignore everyone else and just do what you're comfortable with.

It actually is the official advice:

The UK Chief Medical Officers’ advice to women is:
'Women who are pregnant or trying to conceive should avoid alcohol altogether. However, if they do choose to drink, to minimise the risk to the baby, we recommend they should not drink more than 1-2 units once or twice a week and should not get drunk.'

So my obstetrician's advice was exactly in line with current UK official.

Yanbu. We had private ante-natal care and just before christmas the consultant (of his own accord) ended the appoitment reminding us that 1 unit is absolutely fine occasionally.

All research agrees with this. The current "none at all" NHS viewpoint came about because they think women couldn't understand the 1-2 units 1-2 times a week rule that was in place previously (and was based on a prudent interpretation of the studies done).

I can however understand that if you have had trouble either getting pregnant or holding on to your pregnancies that you would feel the need to be extra careful and would not feel comfortable taking what you perceive to be a risk. but like everything else in life, it is a calculated risk and only the individual can make that choice for themselves.

I used to have the odd glass of wine. I couldn't drink in the first trimester as it tasted awful but later on I did. So enjoy your odd glass and don't worry.

Fed Like I said upthread am total hypocrite!!

Devil's advocate a bit - I was interested to see how this would go - I certainly had glasses of wine / champagne (my thinking being if I was going to drink, may as well have been a naice one!) during all three pregnancies. But most 'official' advice is not to drink at all.

I do wonder if that is more because health professionals are worried that if they say it's OK for you to have 1 drink you will end up having 3.

Anyway, that's the thing, I'm not a medical expert so just because I've had a drink and my kids are fine (although, who knows if I've damaged their IQs with my one off drinks??!!) I can't say 'oh yes, there's all this research that it's fine to have a drink'.

I had my first 10 years ago and the advice then was conflicting so I chose not to. Back then having one wine was alien to me so abstaining rather than having the odd glass suited me better.

Second time round I didn't have any alcohol until I had some champagne on my due date. I'd been told a small glass or two could help start labour. Rubbish but in enjoyed the champers.

YANBU

YABU.

Congratulations!
YADNBU.
The official advice is that there is no proven safe limit for alcohol (it is very hard to prove that something is safe) but I drank the occasional v. small glass (champagne at weddings etc) throughout my pregnancy and my midwife said this was fine.
However, if it's something you're going to worry about after I would avoid it - excessive stress is probably worse that the odd glass of wine.

Hello. Thank you for all of your replies. I appreciate it is a (ahem) 'contentious issue' and I'm genuinely not trying to start any arguments. It is just very difficult sometimes to know what is genuinely a 'risk' to baby and what is just people being excessive, (I work with one woman who since she found out I was pregnant - note 'found out' rather than was told thanks to workplace gossips - insists on commenting every time she sees me lifts a small folder, etc "I don't think you should be doing that". Drives me mad!). So guess I'm just trying to see what most women do and be guided by the general opinion so as to speak, so I appreciate all the comments.

I had a small glass, maybe a glass and a half, very rarely, not once a week, but I'm not a big drinker when not pregnant anyway. I absolutely wouldn't judge you for a 1-2 glasses 1-2 times a week.

I had a glass of red AND a glass of champagne two weeks before my dd arrived. Living on the edge. ;)

Now ask if you should have a sneaky cigarette OP! That really is a can o worms!

With DD I didn't drink a drop, more so to prove to myself that I could manage without (important to me but others were encouraging me to 'just have one' etc)

With DS I had a glass of champagne at a couple of weddings and for my 30th. Entirely my own personal view that once a week would be too frequent but do what feels right for you. I also had awful acid indigestion towards end of pregnancy so couldn't stomach it even when I fancied a glass !

Re judgemental comments, I had a number of comments about food choices and one raised eye brow at a glass of prosecco in a restaurant...so yeah, people will judge and have a view on everything, much like with all things pregnancy/baby related but do what you are happy with.

" 'Women who are pregnant or trying to conceive should avoid alcohol altogether."
Taking how do you interpret that? The second bit is basically "should you choose to ignore this advice..."

Its a bit like smoking. Advice is to quit. Kf you really can't, cut down a as much as possible.
Btw am not comparing drinking in pregnancy with smoking in pregnancy.

Current NHS advice is women should try to avoid alcohol while ttc and during pregnancy, certainly during the first trimester. But if you do choose to drink then no more than 1-2 units once or twice a week.

So 1-2 units is still current advice in this country.

My interpretation of this is that there's no real evidence to suggest.that light drinking during pregnancy can cause harm but, as with most things in pregnancy, they can't definitely say that it won't cause any harm. So it's up to you to make your own decision based on the information we have. This is just my opinion though.

I wouldn't judge a pregnant woman for having a glass of wine with a meal because that would make me a hypocrite. At 13 weeks I assume you aren't very noticeably pregnant so I think you could probably get away with it without too much judging. During my pregnancy I've been judged for eating cashew nuts, soft boiled egg, medium rare steak, cooked goats cheese and something which had been cooked in red wine. You''ll be judged for anything and everything basically.

Are people missing thd bit where it says don't?

I read this article a while ago about an economist who analysed the risks for herself whilst pregnant: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23802785 I think she wrote a book as well.
Ultimately you cannot eliminate all risks, you just have to decide how you manage them and what is acceptable to you.
To answer the question in your post: If I saw a pregnant woman drinking a small glass of wine with a meal, I would not judge her.

Agree with Trinpy! You will get judged for anything and everything - a colleague tried to stop me eating dairylea once

OP, I've just had my first half glass of wine at 15 weeks. It was lovely! I got through the first trimester which covered Xmas, NYE, my birthday and Valentine's Day, plus several flights/eurostar trips in which FREE WINE was offered, without a drop. I really do not believe that a modest amount occasionally at this point can do any harm, and indeed when I started ttc a few years ago, the official advice was that 1-2 units, once or twice a week is fine. That changed to "none at all" without any research study proving that the previous advice was in any way unsafe. My choice was: none at all for the first tri, a glass occasionally thereafter. I'm happy with that.

I had the odd glass of wine when pregnant. Not during the first trimester, though, as the thought made me sick.

As previous posters have said, people like to judge! I was judged for eating nuts but the current advice does not say to avoid nuts. Also cooked hot shellfish is fine I believe. I ate runny eggs if I knew where they came from as the chances of getting salmonella from a British Lion egg are minuscule in my opinion!

I did avoid soft cheese though as even though the risk of listeriosis is small, the effect on the foetus can be devastating.

Squishysquirmy Judged for eating food cooked in alcohol?! Some people haven't got a clue...

shiver you did

My friend was told by her consultant that the reason for the "no alcohol at all" advice was (as someone has said above) because we are not trusted to know how much 1 - 2 units is. Which is to some degree fair enough, given the responses you see in those surveys where people are asked to identify how many units of alcohol are in various drinks!

I drank occasionally during my pregnancy - I think I had one small glass of champagne in my first trimester, and then 1 - 2 glasses (of wine rather than champagne) between 1x per week and 1x per fortnight after that. Don't remember feeling particularly judged at any point.