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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ring school tomorrow

91 replies

ThePinkOcelot · 11/03/2014 19:48

My dd is in year 8 and the head of year has sent an email to the other teachers to say pupils should not be allowed to use the toilet during lessons.

I don't know about you, but when I need to go, I need to go. I think this is just plain wrong. I am thinking about ringing tomorrow to say so.

I should imagine it would be disruptive if the whole class decided they needed the loo, but I don't think that will happen. Dd asked and the teacher said wait until next lesson then of course the next teacher said no.

Holding on causes UTIs and sitting on the loo for the sake of it trying to go causes haemorrhoids.

Would I be unreasonable to complain?

OP posts:
noblegiraffe · 11/03/2014 19:55

Kids will have been meeting up and vandalising the toilets or similar.

It's a pretty common rule in most schools. Most teenagers can hold a wee for a lesson, those that don't can get a medical card and if they are desperate a teacher will often let them go anyway.

harriet247 · 11/03/2014 19:57

Cant they have a hall pass system? Only one at a time etc? Its a bit much imo

littlewhitebag · 11/03/2014 19:57

If she is in secondary school then i guess it is reasonable. They can go in breaks or when moving between classes. The most they might have to hang on is probably for any double periods. I am sure any child with toilet issues will be given some pass type card to get out.

Spinaroo · 11/03/2014 20:01

What noble giraffe said- dependent on job, adults have to go at particular times (teachers for example). There is also a fashion of pupils spending entire intervals and lunchtimes without going and then want to leave class to go five
Minutes into the lesson. I would imagine the email from year head was less strong than has been suggested to pupils. Teachers will be able to use their discretion to ensure no one is uncomfortable whilst the message is loud and clear for those who take the proverbial.

Nanny0gg · 11/03/2014 20:01

What about girls on their period?
If they have a bit of an emergency, they can hardly explain what the problem is, can they?

And would you really want the rest of your class to know that you have bladder issues?

WooWooOwl · 11/03/2014 20:06

Yes, it would be unreasonable to complain.

Just tell your kid to go at break times, between lessons, or at lunch. Or before or after school. It's really not going to damage them.

Spinaroo · 11/03/2014 20:07

If a girl gives you the look you know- and would never refuse. Male teachers are even less likely to refuse. Toilet passes are very discreet- pocket sized and shown to teacher when necessary with no need for actual conversation.

Blissx · 11/03/2014 20:08

Cant they have a hall pass system? Only one at a time etc? Its a bit much imo

What noblegiraffe is alluding to is the fact that pupils from different classes will have been meeting up to do stupid things in the toilets/other parts of the school etc. With hundreds of lessons going on at the same time at Secondary, "one at a time" doesn't work if pupils are intending to abuse going to the toilet during lessons from different classes.

With regards to periods, obviously it rarely happens that a pupil 'comes on' mid lesson so isn't usually an issue but of course it can happen and will be dealt with separately and discretely by the teacher, whether or not there is a rule for toilet breaks.

Bladder issues will already be known to the teacher beforehand anyway, so exceptions will be made.

pointythings · 11/03/2014 20:10

DD1's school is very sensible about this, they are allowed to go but it is signed for in their planner so that if they are taking the mick and going frequently/in order to mess about, there is written evidence.

If there is no suspicious pattern then there is no problem. The issue of periods does need to be taken seriously, many girls this age will have just started periods and will have an unpredictable cycle.

OwlCapone · 11/03/2014 20:12

In 7 years of secondary school, I never needed to go to the toilet during a lesson. I don't think anyone without medical needs would.

KateSpade · 11/03/2014 20:14

Please ring up!

When I was at school 10ish years ago, the toilets were locked all day, everyday. Their was one teacher ego would give us the toilet key, I had his lesson twice a week! It was agony, especially with painful periods!

Original poster
ThePinkOcelot · 11/03/2014 20:16

I can't go on demand ie break time or lunch. Some days I go quite a few times some days I don't go at all. It depends. And holding on definitely causes bladder problem. Would all of the school going at lunch and breaks not cause queues?

OP posts:
peggylane · 11/03/2014 20:17

Yes it is unreasonable to complain imo. As a secondary school teacher I can assure you that most pupils will be able to "hold on" and wait to go until they're on break but they are always a few that desperately need to go in your lesson and disrupt not only their but also their classmates learning. I tell my students that unless they have a note from their parents/ carers in their planners re a medical reason (which includes their period) they are NOT allowed to go to the toilet during lesson, end of. You would be amazed to see how many STILL desperately have to go and can't wait until break or lunchtime, namely none.

KittyVonCatsington · 11/03/2014 20:19

the toilets were locked all day, everyday

What has this got to do with the, OP's situation? The pupils will be able to go to the toilet before school, break, lunch and possibly within the lesson changeovers. Not quite the same thing...

KittyVonCatsington · 11/03/2014 20:22

Would all of the school going at lunch and breaks not cause queues?

Simple answer: no.

You say you can't go to the toilet on demand but equally, do you also have to go every 50 minutes or less?

Philoslothy · 11/03/2014 20:24

I am eight months pregnant and spend my days drinking cups of tea, I manage to hold on until a break, 99% of students can do the same.

An arrangement can be made for the others.

soverylucky · 11/03/2014 20:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeMochaFrappucino · 11/03/2014 20:25

I'm a secondary school teacher. I can only go at break and lunch. I'm 34 weeks pregnant so I understand it can be difficult sometimes but it's really manageable. There are so many kids who ask in order to get out of lessons or who ask to go five minutes after break or who ask to go just because you let someone else (with a toilet pass) go - it's incredibly disruptive. There are enough toilets for everyone to manage going at break and lunch without problems. If you don't have a blanket rule of no one goes (that you then manage with discretion, skill and tact which any good teacher will do to ensure no discomfort is suffered by kids with a genuine reason) then it can very quickly turn into a circus.

Hulababy · 11/03/2014 20:27

By secondary school age, and a fair bit younger tbh, they should be able to wait unless it is a real emergency one-off. Then they go between lessons quickly.

That is what teacher's have to do.

Coldlightofday · 11/03/2014 20:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 11/03/2014 20:29

I think it is reasonable in secondary school unless there is a medical issue.

HanSolo · 11/03/2014 20:30

Surely this is normal in secondary schools? They have breaks between lessons so they can go Confused

Pupils with medical issues are given loo passes, no reason for others to have them though.

TheWoodlands · 11/03/2014 20:31

I would complain.

This is Abit tough!

5Foot5 · 11/03/2014 20:33

OP, if this wasn't also the rule when you were at school I would be surprised. Certainly when I was that age we were not allowed to go during lessons unless we had a letter from home explaining any special circumstances.

I think your own particular issues do not represent the norm and so you don't necessarily see that what the school expects is quite reasonable.

bobot · 11/03/2014 20:34

No, it's not on. Have a look at the "Bog Standard" campaign, about the standard of school toilets - includes the reasons why children should never have access to a toilet restricted. "Holding on" to a poo for an hour, on a regular basis, can lead to real medical problems.

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