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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ring school tomorrow

91 replies

ThePinkOcelot · 11/03/2014 19:48

My dd is in year 8 and the head of year has sent an email to the other teachers to say pupils should not be allowed to use the toilet during lessons.

I don't know about you, but when I need to go, I need to go. I think this is just plain wrong. I am thinking about ringing tomorrow to say so.

I should imagine it would be disruptive if the whole class decided they needed the loo, but I don't think that will happen. Dd asked and the teacher said wait until next lesson then of course the next teacher said no.

Holding on causes UTIs and sitting on the loo for the sake of it trying to go causes haemorrhoids.

Would I be unreasonable to complain?

OP posts:
Original poster
ThePinkOcelot · 11/03/2014 20:36

Coldlightofday- sitting on the toilet unnecessarily for a time does indeed cause haemorrhoids. It's the way you sit. I work for a colorectal surgeon and he advises people not to sit on loo unnecessarily ie reading.

OP posts:
PublicEnemyNumeroUno · 11/03/2014 20:38

I don't think its unreasonable of the school to do this, they probably get a lot of piss takers (pardon the pun) who frequently just happen to need to loo during lessons. By secondary school they should be able to hold their bladder until the end of a lesson.

Those with medical needs should be allowed though, my sister has really bad bowel and bladder issues and id be fuming if she was not allowed because frankly she would wet/soil herself in class.

Floggingmolly · 11/03/2014 20:41

It's perfectly standard. This rule was in place at my school twenty years ago, and at dd's now. We're both fine.

Coldlightofday · 11/03/2014 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrohnicallyChanging · 11/03/2014 20:44

But surely, in the vast majority of cases, you don't 'hold on' to poo for an hour? You are aware of the upcoming need to go, before it becomes an urge that requires holding on? The need develops over time as it were, you don't not need to go one minute then need to go the next? Except of course with medical conditions- I have Crohn's and it does sometimes hit like that!

As has been mentioned, lessons in secondary schools are often 45-60 minutes long, so I don't think it's unreasonable to expect pupils to wait till the end of the lesson. As has been mentioned, many jobs (eg teachers, bus drivers, supermarket till operators) require you to wait till a scheduled break- further apart than every hour- and secondary school pupils should be preparing for the world of work.

BonaDea · 11/03/2014 20:48

Yabu.

Would you go to the toilet in the middle of a meeting, presentation or interview? Of course not.

Ohwhatfuckeryisthis · 11/03/2014 20:49

You can bet your bottom do.lar that after lunch and break there will be a string of kids wanting to go to the loo. It was found at our school that certain groups were arranging to meet up in the loos. No supervision and incidences of vandalism. Ours have planners signed and timed.

DakotaFanny · 11/03/2014 20:50

Yabu. When do the teachers get to go? Probably not even every 50 minutes if they have consecutive classes.

Most schools have this policy, with a toilet pass for those with medical reasons for needing free access to toilets.

starlight1234 · 11/03/2014 20:54

I know I used to pop of to the loo for a ciggie when I was at school 20 years ago

It is people like me that make it difficult for the genuine people...

Not proud by the way

IamInvisible · 11/03/2014 20:55

When DS1 was at school, in Yr10, a teacher refused to allow a girl to go to the toilet. She was obviously in pain, according to DS1, and shuffling about on her stool. The others pleaded with the bastard teacher, he still said no, they told her to go, but she was too meek and shy so wouldn't.

Anyway, she was coming down with the D&V bug that most of the rest of the school had and poo'ed herself in the classroom. The poor girl was mortified. Sad.

Yes, most DC can wait but there should never, imo, be a blanket ban on the use of toilets in lessons.

Haggisfish · 11/03/2014 20:56

In our school, there was a fashion for girls giving BJ in the boys toilets during lessons...I think I'd rather no-one was allowed to go!

5ofus · 11/03/2014 20:56

YABU. Same rule was in place when I was at school 20++ years ago.

Don't phone the school. I'd have been mortified if my parents had got involved in anything like that at school.

WooWooOwl · 11/03/2014 20:59

Asking secondary school age children to use the toilet at times other than lessons is not the same as asking them to risk haemorrhoids by sitting on the toilet for a length of time unnecessarily.

FFS Hmm

CorusKate · 11/03/2014 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icimoi · 11/03/2014 21:23

YABU. There will obviously be exceptions for pupils with genuine medical reasons, but there simply is no need for them to go during lessons otherwise. We were certainly never allowed to when I was at school, and we all survived several years of education without mass outbreaks of haemorrhoids. In fact, I'm quite sure that none of us got them, come to that.

flipchart · 11/03/2014 21:26

It's the same rule from when I was at school 30 years ago.

Generally not a problem. I didn't have my mum on the phone poking her nose in with school rules.

maddy68 · 11/03/2014 21:52

That has been the case in every secondary school I have ever worked in. I have a very weak bladder myself but even I can go for an hour without needing the loo. She is in year 8. She needs to train her bladder The teachers can't just nip off when they feel like it.
The toilets aren't supervised during lesson time and that's where bullying vandalism occurs if they are let out whenever

She can go between lessons it's not like she is being asked to wait until midday even. You are being a bit precious

bobot · 11/03/2014 21:53

Strongly disagree with most replies here - might be worth pointing this advice out to your school, OP.

www.eric.org.uk/campaigns

www.eric.org.uk/Campaigns/TheRightToGo

StabInTheDark · 11/03/2014 21:54

Have none of you ever been in the position where you have been utterly desperate to the point where if you couldn't go in the next ten minutes, there would be a disaster?

It happens to the best of us even as adults and as a pre-teen/teen, in front of all their classmates that they have to see every day, it's potentially a very, very traumatising situation to be in. Stuff like this can affect kids physically and psychologically later on.

I completely understand that there have to be rules in place but a complete ban seems a tad extreme. From a personal perspective, I know that my youngest DD finds it embarrassing to ask to go anyway- something like this being in place would make it agonising for her!

Why should a couple of kids that abuse it stop a whole class from exercising a basic right?

StabInTheDark · 11/03/2014 21:57

What IamInvisible described is exactly why I don't think there should be a complete ban. Things like that do happen and for someone who is already shy, is an absolute disaster Sad

Sirzy · 11/03/2014 22:00

I think a ban on going makes sense with the teacher having some leeway to let pupils go if they really need to.

But there often needs to be some restrictions because pupils do take the piss (no pun intended) when it comes to going to the toilet in lesson times. We had the same rules in place when I was at school 15 years ago - mentioning "lady problems" was a surefire way for most male teachers to let you go though!

girliefriend · 11/03/2014 22:02

yanbu, I have ibs and the thought of not having access to a toilet is very stressful to me. If you need the loo you need the loo - no one should restrict that.

At secondary school I used to get quite anxious in some lessons and as a result needed to wee quite frequently, I was always allowed to go.

noblegiraffe · 11/03/2014 22:03

Teachers aren't idiots. A 'complete ban' doesn't mean that a teacher will simply sit and watch while a kid pisses themselves.

It means that when little Johnny asks to go to the toilet because he wants to meet his mate from the next class, or because he can't be arsed to sit and do a worksheet, it means that the teacher can say 'nope, you're not allowed out in lessons, orders from above'.

bobot · 11/03/2014 22:05

Sirzy, you'd have to be a very bold teenage girl to say "ladies' problems" to a male teacher in front of your class - I'd have died first, as would every teenage girl I've met. I don't think children should have to beg to use the toilet and explain themselves in a humiliating way.

In answer to someone else's question - yes, I'd go to the toilet during a meeting if desperate. Presentation or interview - well usually I wouldn't need to, but if desperate then I would and I wouldn't expect to be asked personal questions about it!