Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Sick of people's comments about how much hard work I am gonna have with a baby BOY!

99 replies

BazilGin · 08/03/2014 20:58

Grrrr, sorry, just need a rant! I have a wonderful 2.5 year old DD and now due with DS in July. Whenever friends/colleagues ask about the gender of the baby, I get a lot of smirky comments about how much hard work (in comparison to DD) I am going to have with a boy.
AIBU to think it is more to do with a child personality that gender! I hate stereotyping, my DD is wonderful but she also has her moments. She loves her snow white, but her favourite toy is a bucket of plastic dinosaurs. She can play quietly and run riot in the park. She doesn't sit quietly all day, dressed as a bloody pinky princess having imaginary picnics.

Also, some of my friends with sons, often blame their behaviour purely on gender instead of do some actual parenting and stop unwanted behaviour. I have no experience of boys in family (have 2 sisters myself) but all these comments are starting to get to me a bit and I am beginning to doubt myself recently. Maybe they are right and I am just naive?

OP posts:

justwantitmadeforme · 08/03/2014 21:00

YANBU. all children are different.

If it's any consolation my baby boy is a breeze in comparison to when my daughter was a baby!

perspective · 08/03/2014 21:01

Not harder, just different! Though probably easier in teenage years, less hair tossing and door slamming.

Boys are lovely, funny, eat like horses.

NoIamAngelaHernandez · 08/03/2014 21:02

I have four year old twin boys. They are fabulous.

Congratulations

EllenJanesthickerknickers · 08/03/2014 21:02

Hmm, I think toddler boys can be a bit lively, but they make up for it as teenagers! Obviously all very stereotyped and may be completely different for you. I only have boys and no regrets, you just love what you get.

really1234 · 08/03/2014 21:02

YANBU. If you'd been due another girl they'd be saying oh but did you want a boy?! / oh wouldn't it be nice to have one of each.

People will always find some comment!

Boys are different to girls but neither is better or worse. I have boys and love it, friends have all girls and love it. As you say it's about the child not what bits it has.

Enjoy!

Devora · 08/03/2014 21:03

Congratulations! My daughters are REALLY hard work

McSmoke · 08/03/2014 21:03

My boy is easier than my girl. This is purely personality and nothing to do with their genitals. Ignore the comments and enjoy your unique children. Xx

sydlexic · 08/03/2014 21:05

My DS has been well behaved every day of his life, he was a dream baby. He is a teenager now and works hard at school, gets up at 6 everyday.

I have two older DDs who were lovely babies but awful teenagers.

IncognitoIsMyFavouriteWord · 08/03/2014 21:06

My boy is a laid back very polite lovely 12 year old.

I got a compliment just the other day how polite he is.

Not all boys are like him and not all girls are unlike him.

He is what he is partly by the way he is raised and partly by him just being him.

Your child will be a person with their own unique personality. Enjoy him

PurplePidjin · 08/03/2014 21:06

I'm only on my first, but my 16mo ds is just as much of a pickle at times as friends' same-aged dd's - and sits nicely listening to stories just as in frequently

dietcokeandwine · 08/03/2014 21:07

Oh God, YANBU.

This sort of thing drives me nuts (I have three boys).

All children have their moments, regardless of gender. It depends on the personality of the child in question.

FWIW, we have several friends whose families comprise of a DD and two or three DSs. Without exception each of those parents say that the DD is harder work than all their DSs put together

Enjoy your gorgeous baby boy and ignore the idiots spouting rubbish at you.

Sars123 · 08/03/2014 21:08

Hi, ignore the lot of them. I am 100% with you in that every child is different. Sure as children grow up hormones will affect their bodies at different times depending on their sex but that does not mean they will all behave the same way. My son is only 5months but my friend has a 5yr old who is one of the nicest most polite children I have ever met. Don't get me wrong he has his moments but everyone has their own personality.

I have a similar experience where everyone keeps coming out with comments to me as to how hard my life is going to be. First it was when he was born how bad it would be and now it's how hard it will be when he starts to crawl. Why can't people just be happy for you?

Standinginline · 08/03/2014 21:08

Definitely to do with the child's personality than the gender. My son was a nightmare when he was younger but that's because he had my persona ; I'm highly strung and can get stressed very easily. My daughter ,however ,is very chilled and good as gold ,taking after her dad.

curlycat · 08/03/2014 21:12

Just have a wee look at the post I started about teenage daughters in chat. I'd have 20 boys any day. I have one of each and ds has been easier in every way since day 1!!

Potol · 08/03/2014 21:12

Ignore ignore ignore. DS is 2.2 and calmer and shyer than most girls his age. Talks a lot but isn't physically disruptive at all. Apparently I was exactly the same.

dutchyoriginal · 08/03/2014 21:14

Pure stereotype. We have a DS, nearly 4, and I'm heavily pregnant with No.2. Everybody warns us that no2. is probably more of a hand full than DS.

Our house is barely babyproof. We would put DS on a rug in the middle of the living room, and he would just stay and play there. Around the corner, we have a large bookcase with cd's in the bottom shelves, he's never even touched them! We used a stair gate for about 3 months, then simply stopped using it/removed it, because he would always wait for us to go down together. Only this January, he moved to a bigger room and bigger bed, and now he's started to get out of bed himself and come to us in the morning. Before that, despite having a low bed without sides, he just wouldn't come out himself, he would Always call for his dad to come and get him. Even though he could climb in and out of our (much higher) bed just fine. He just wouldn't get out of his own bed.

Point is, DS has been super super easy (except for still not sleeping through the night and giving us a permanent sleep deficit), and we'll probably never have it as easy with this new baby, boy or girl.... :-)

MerylStrop · 08/03/2014 21:15

It is just chat. For some people it's like a pavlovian response. Don't let it wind you up.

FWIW my two DS's are a walk in the park compared to DD. They are easy-going, zen types, she's bananas in pyjamas.

BrianTheMole · 08/03/2014 21:15

Yanbu. Although my boy certainly is much livelier harder than my girl. But they are of course all different.

carabos · 08/03/2014 21:16

Babies of any gender are hard work (as you know). I have two grown up sons. I can't make a comparison as I don't have daughters only 5 younger sisters, but my boys have been an utter delight.

DS1 was the dream baby, DS2 nightmare angry ginger baby from hell, but once into toddlerhood was super fab. Congrats on both your bairns, enjoy!

WillSingForCake · 08/03/2014 21:18

I'm in the same boat as you OP! I have a 2.5 year old DD, and am expecting a DS next month. I've had so many negative comments about how much harder work he's bound to be, really pisses me off.

Coldlightofday · 08/03/2014 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icanmakeyouicecream · 08/03/2014 21:18

Why do people automatically talk shit when you're pregnant. In my experience my daughter has been a royal pain in the arse in comparison to my son!

liveoutloud · 08/03/2014 21:21

I agree with you, and it is total BS. My son is 15 and he is and has always been an angel.

Ludways · 08/03/2014 21:21

What a crock!!

In a sweeping generalisation a boy is louder and more boisterous but at least you never have to wonder what they are thinking or what they're doing, you can see and hear. Girls, they're much more whiley, lol, never quite know what's going on under the surface!

Boys are bloody fab and I adore mine, but then so are girls and I adore mine!

Congratulations x

shallweshop · 08/03/2014 21:21

Girls are much harder in my opinion. I have DD aged 9 and DS aged 7. DD is much harder work - always pushing the boundaries, wanting independence and challenging every obstacle. She is the one who fell out of the tree and broke her arm. DS is much easier to handle!
That said, I love having one of each and I adore their differences and similarities. X

Flip

1 2 3 4