to ask you how you split your money in your marriage/partnership?

[Objection]

I always thought Oh and my arrangement was pretty normal - we calculate our shared costs (mortgage, bills, food etc) and split them in two. We then both put that about plus about 5% or so into a joint account. The rest of our money is for ourselves and treat each other as we see fit.
But after some previous advice here and from reading other threads it seems this method is largely viewed as selfish or weird...
We don't have children but I imagine when we do we'll just roughly calculate the extra costs and split them too.

How do other people manage theirs?

Doublemuvver are you for real- why on earth do you accept that?

Everything goes in one pot and has done since we got together

I'm self-employed and my income fluctuates but overall I earn more than DH. Each month I put some away for tax and transfer about the same as DH's take-home into my current account. I keep a savings account for emergencies such as not earning enough for the bills that month, and once that's topped up to the level we've agreed, anything else goes into joint savings. We split the bills equally. DH also puts some into the savings when he can. At the moment I'm on mat leave, so I take some out of savings each month and get Maternity Allowance.

It depends on who's earning most and at what time

dh wages go into joint bank account and it pays the mortgage, utilities and credit cards
My wages go in my bank account which is in my maiden name - it pays the school fees
Tax credits and cb goes in another account which is in my sole name and that pays for school dinners, haircuts, school trip money, window cleaner and other odds and sods

dh in charge of them all - I have no interest in any of it, no idea what I earn other than I know its not enough to pay tax and NI, don't even open my pay slip, I just sign on the dotted line when asked.

What money ??

Dh earns a lot more than me.
He pays all bills, food etc.

My small salary is mine for me to spend.
Anything I buy for house/kids comes out of a joint account.

We have always worked for the best of TeamMcSnippy. Joint money regardless of how much goes into the pot. Nothing outdated in that.

I also find it hard to relate to friends who tell me that their husbands have questioned their spending or told them to cut back. That simply doesn't ever happen with our arrangement

That's not about whatever arrangements you have, it's about the kind of people you are.

That's something that's never happened in our four decade arrangement of pooling everything.

We bring our own qualities, skills, time and money to the marriage and it works as a totally equal partnership on all counts.

We have our own accounts plus a joint account. We each have a direct debit for an equal amount into the joint account every month. This covers mortgage and utilities, and as we round up it covers house insurance and tv licence in full each year.

We pay our own car costs, and take it in turns for shopping. I have always earned more than DH and have paid for extras. I also have an elderly horse who costs me an arm and a leg to keep. So though i earn more, the extra is eaten up literally by the horse.
We help each other out when needed with no issues.

50/50 on all bills until we got married then switched to a joint account as easier as I do all the admin.

we each have our own bank accounts in different banks i pay mortgage, he pays all other bills - i don't calculate the equality of spend on bills, i look at disposable income. dh still has more disposable income than me so transfers £100 to my account.

we then spend each others money on whatever we want or can afford. its not unusual for me to take his card and go to the shop and for him to take mine

been married 25 years, but i need to make sure that there are fail-safes in place should something happen - i am not a pessimist - just pragmatic.

it would get messy if we split up and it was a joint account.

also this way - no one person has the responsibility of ensuring things are paid - he has his responsibilities and i have mine

Sep accounts from which we pay the same amount into a joint a/c, the bills mtge and house/kids purchases come out of the joint but everything else is spent and/or managed separately by us. We discuss investments to make sure we're not overexposed in one asset class, and there's a little bit of tax planning we do together but we mostly keep that separate too.

Would HATE to have everything going into joint, I like being in control of my own money. DH earned significantly more yhan me when we met but we always lived to my standard -ie he is cheap and doesnt spend his money on anytjing frivolous anyway so we never really felt unequal. Now o earn more than him fistpumps

Don't think there's a "wrong" answer on this one op, it's whatever works for you!

Joint account, joint everything. We never question what the other spends but we are both pretty sensible with money so there is not need.

bearbehind very long story! partly my doing. But an awful situation I know. Am starting to plan a solution , just gathering the strength

We pay a percentage of our wages into the joint account for bills/food/ childcare and a bit extra for family stuff/ days out etc.

Then the rest is our own to spend on whatever. Works for us.

Bloody hell doublemuvver it sounds like you could have a thread to yourself on that one- good luck

Our method is rather different. All expenses go from DH's account. We try not to touch a penny from my salary. That way if DH account has no savings it's fine. All of mine if our saving, whenever it reaches a nice amount we've put it into a house as investment.

Never thought of his & mine, married for 13 years & this has worked wonders for us financially.

Joint accounts, we share everything, always have.

It's all "our money". But in order for that to work there has to be trust and reasonable behaviour on both sides. Neither of us would make a large purchase (say, over £1,000) without discussion beforehand. Otherwise we just buy what we need/want within reasonable limits.

Everything goes into one account. There's Nowt left after the bills so it's not complicated in the slightest

Been married for nearly 30 years.

Joint account from the word go.

DH always earnt a lot more than me but we have both (and I've just asked him) always thought of it as 'ours'.

Both pretty savvy about money so that has worked for us.

We have seperate accounts. I'm a SAHM, and my husband puts in £1000 a month for food shop, kids stuff, clubs, etc. I've got a credit card for bigger things, holidays, days out etc. all the bills come out of his account.