to ask you how you split your money in your marriage/partnership?

[Objection]

I always thought Oh and my arrangement was pretty normal - we calculate our shared costs (mortgage, bills, food etc) and split them in two. We then both put that about plus about 5% or so into a joint account. The rest of our money is for ourselves and treat each other as we see fit.
But after some previous advice here and from reading other threads it seems this method is largely viewed as selfish or weird...
We don't have children but I imagine when we do we'll just roughly calculate the extra costs and split them too.

How do other people manage theirs?

We never argued about money either because we just regard everything as "our" money.

We have a joint account which everything goes into, had it before we even got married.

My DH has always earned a lot more than me but this arrangement works fine for us. We both spend what we like and discuss big purchases. It's not that great when it comes to birthdays and Christmas as you can see what's coming out from where but other than that it works well for us as a couple.I couldn't imagine having my money and his money and joint money... Too weird for me, but that's just me

Dh pays rent and most bills, I pay mobile bills, food bills, clothes etc.
But we buy each other and kids stuff from both accounts.

We do the same as you, we have one child, but have split parental leave 50/50 and earnt simlar wages beforehand. Yes for the 6 months your on parent laeve you are worse off but it balances out, if one of us was taking the whole yr of course we would have needed to re think it. Also parental leave money is 80% of your wage here and that is pleanty to cover half the bills so its not leaving eh SAHP in poverty.

I think your way is normal OP. I have never liked all this 'joint money'. We don't live in the 1950s. I work hard and should be entitled to do whatever I want with my money without having someone else being involved.

Our wages go into our own separate accounts and we have a joint account for mortgage, bills, stuff for DS etc. We put in proportionate to our wages as I'm part time.

Anything left in our own accounts is ours to do with what we want. Although we don't spend particularly and we wouldn't buy anything big without talking about it.

We don't split anything. Everything he earns and everything I earn is ours but, like Salmo we have been married 30 years and it was much more common to do that then.

We have our own accounts for our salaries. We each keep the same amount in our own accounts and the rest goes into the joint account. My dh earns more but he has a daughter. The substantial equity that was put into our house was mine

Ours is all confused. DH pays the vast majority of the bills including all of the food we eat from his own account. I pay for the DC's "stuff" including school fees and anything I need from a joint account. DH pays a certain amount each month into this joint account and I manage it. I also manage the rest of my money with the ultimate aim of DH being able to take early retirement someday.

It works for us.

All pooled. Until Sept 2013, our salaries were about the same. Then I went down to 4 days to try to save my job and my sanity. Lasted till December. Been on JSA since Jan 2014. All still pooled. I was offered a job on 13 Feb, but am still waiting for my criminal records clearance.

I think it's relevant that both my and DH's parents pooled all money, and so did grandparents. (DH and I are 38, my parents married in 1973, his in 1970) I had no idea until I was an adult and close enough with friends that we discussed stuff like finances that not every couple living together didn't do it.

I realise now what a charmed existence I have had to never feel that it was necessary for myself, or my wider family.

We pool it too, and always have. We got a joint account before we were even married. We lived together for a few years before our wedding though and I think we both just got tired of the difficulties not having all the money going in to one place.

All money goes in a joint account and we both spend what we want. All bills and mortgage come out of this account. By agreement, any purchase over £100 should be discussed prior to buying it. Savings are all joint too, including money I recently inherited. Don't see the point in separate accounts as we have very similar ideas about money and what to spend it on.

OP, why are you on MN if you don't have children?

We earn roughly the same. Set amount goes into the joint account each month. We'll need to up it as we are constantly topping it up.

The rest we spend/save/invest.

Completely separate. He pays some household stuff I pay other household stuff. We don't account to each other and each have our own money. I don't know what he earns nor he what I earn. We've never had joint accounts and we've always had our own income.

It was the same when our son was small. I paid for the nannies and he paid all household stuff. He paid school fees , I paid for extras. I paid son's university expenses. Works perfectly for us. We've argued about loads of things but never about money.

LaGuardia - there are loads of people without children on MN!

We have sep accounts ( I was married before and my ex spent all our cash on OW- took me ages to work out why our very good salaries couldn't meet our requirements) and I pay all the household bills - it's my house and everything is in my name. DH pays the credit cards and other bills like car MOT insurances and he buys our Stuff eg we had a new mattress last month. He saves lots for hols weekends away etc. sometimes he will pay for food. If I am short I can access his acc and transfer money.

Tbh it's a bit silly having sep accounts but after my first husband and once or twice not knowing if I could pay the mortgage I still feel twitchy.

Our income goes into one pot. We don't have separate finances. "For richer, for poorer".

I earn £50k, DH earns £4-5k (works part time and is a sahd). I pay all bills, except he pays landline, his mobile, internet charges. I transfer £500 pcm into joint account which he uses for food shop, his fuel and personal spends plus he has about £80 com for clubs, activities, coffee at soft play etc. If he ever needs anything more I transfer more into joint account. What's left we save. We are both happy with this. I'd be happy to just put everything jointly but DH won't have it. He is less careful with money than me.

This only works if both earn the same

My sister and her partner slipt every thing demon the middle however he earns 45k she earns 27k so not really 50/50

I am a sham so everything gose into our joint account and I spend what I need

Joint current account, savings account and credit card. He used to earn more, now I earn more.
I've been a SAHM, he's been out of work a couple of times but we've always been equal partners.
Works for us.

We are married. It all goes in one joint account.

LaGuardia a lot of people on MN don't have children. Having them is not actually an entry requirement.