Just found out I'm pregnant

[Suchabadtime]

I've come here for the traffic

Basically my last period was the 2/2 - 6/2 I had sex with a guy on the 8/2 however we used a condom. We slept together on the 12th 2/3 times without a comdom which was a MASSIVE mistake. I got back together with my ex on the 16th and we had sex numberous times thought the week and every time after usually 1-3 a day a couple of days a week I was on micronor and took it the same time everyday. The only days I missed out on were 20th & 22nd I was also put on antibiotics around the same time

I've just found out I'm pregnant My phone says I'm 5 days late but that is wrong sometimes by up to 2/3 days to early.

My average length is 26 days and my letaul phase As I worked out was 12 days (according to my phone so could be wrong)

Am I right in thinking it will be my ex/current partners.

I know I was stupid I never saw myself in this situation!

[Hoppinggreen]

My son was 16 days late so I don't think when the baby is due or born is a sure fire way to tell.
A friend of mine was in a similar situTion to OP and was told by several medical professionals that a post birth DNA test was the only way to really know

[Finola1step]

Such you and your DP are in such a difficult position. It sounds like that you are going to continue with the pregnancy. You and your DP are perfectly entitled to raise the child as you wish. But the DNA test wouldn't really be for you and DP in the long run. It would be so that the child has the full knowledge of its parentage. Yes, there are lots of children being raised by dads who might not actually be biologically linked. But, just because lots of people do, doesn't make it right. The only person who can actually make the call on this is you.

[WhereIsMyHat]

If your LP is 12 days, you ovulated on the 14, given sperm can survive for 5+ days but a released egg is only viable for approx 24 hours it is likely to be man one.


BUT, given you tested positive on the 2nd/ 3rd you could have easily ovulated later, I think early pregnancy tests are pretty reliable, for most, from about 10 days post ovulation which would work back to the 20th of February so man 2.

You can have paternity testing during pregnancy now.

[Suchabadtime]

Where we can't afford that.

It's more likely to be my dp because I missed the pills with him and took them with man 1

[Suchabadtime]

where

If you look on my profile you'll see the test and it wasn't very dark. All the others aren't proper dark

[Suchabadtime]

Done another test with the same brand and it's only slightly darker they were both done at the same time

These are early response test

[Suchabadtime]

I've put the picture on my profile with the 1st one

[SuperScrimper]

Why on earth do you seem so reluctant to find out?! Seriously. Any child deserves to know who their parents are.

I, frankly, think os absolutely disgusting to tell a child someone is their Father when there is clearly reasonable doubt that that might not be true.

The current man may want to delude himself right now, but if you split up you can guarantee he'll want the test done then.

[Bogeyface]

Super because the OP and her DP have convinced themselves that he is the father so they dont want to risk being told he isnt. If they dont know for sure then they dont have to face the fall out.

Understandable, but not right, not right at all.

[falulahthecat]

Aren't there those very expensive clear blue tests that tell you how many days along you supposedly are? Might help narrow it down...
Finola1 is giving good advice, hope it works out for you.

[Suchabadtime]

They only do 1-2 weeks it would be 2 weeks tomorrow from the 20th would that work?

[HadABadDay2014]

I think you should get a DNA as soon as the baby is born, this isn't about you are your DP it's about the baby growing inside you.

I don't think it's fair to the child to keep such an important thing as parentage from a child.

What if the child in 16 years time needed a kidney or bone marrow ect and needed a match, then he or she finds out.

Also it's illegal to put DP on the birth certificate with doubt that he may not be the father.

[SuperScrimper]

She won't get a DNA test. I would bet every penny I had on it.

Every person has the right to know who their parents are. You do not know, you hope. When the child finds out the truth any trust will be broken.

[FlockOfTwats]

You need a dna test. Its too close to call really.

Clear blue digital with conception indicator are NOT very accurate and certainly should NOT be used for this.

[Finola1step]

Such I'm going to be as gentle as I can because I do not want to upset you anymore than you already are. But you are looking for answers that just aren't there. You are kidding yourself, my dear. Yes, the missed pills do point towards your DP being the biological father. But you had sex without condoms with two men within the ovulation and conception window. That is the plain truth. You have asked for advice but you are not listening to reason.

It is great that your DP really wants the baby to be his. And it will be fantastic if a DNA test proves this to be true. However, it is 50-50. You know this and no amount of trying to convince yourself will change this.

For now, maybe it's best that you put all this angst to one side. There is nothing you can do yet. Your DP knows the situation. See how the pregnancy progresses. The dating scan might help you, might not. But for now, concentrate on your health and well being. You do not have to make any firm decisions.

[splasheeny]

Op how are you? I understand what people are saying, but as long as your partner is aware that there is a strong possibility this child isn't his, then I don't see the harm in not doing a paternity test if he is happy with that.

DNA isn't everything. You say you have no way of contacting the other man anyway, so I'm wondering what would be gained from doing a paternity test.

[foreverondiet]

I think impossible to tell with the dates.

If luteal phase normally 12 days and cycle 26 days then you are estimating that you ovulated on day 14 so on 16th. But easily could have been on the 15th which would mean that just can't tell as sperm can survive for 4-5 days.

A dating scan WOULD NOT HELP because it dates from ovulation, but its only accurate to 1-2 days and it determines date of ovulation and not take of DTD. Eg you could have had sex on 12th, ovulated on the 16th and the scan would say 16th.

I think you can tell paternity from a CVS?

[foreverondiet]

"It's more likely to be my dp because I missed the pills with him and took them with man 1."

Sperm can live for 5 days. After your unprotected sex with the other man, was there more than 5 days between either:
a) commencing antibiotics
b) missing the pills

If so, yes much more likely to be your partners....

[chrome100]

Incidentally, the new advice is that antibiotics don't interfere with the pill and there's no need to use additional precautions (they used to advise you use condoms as well for ten days). However, missing pills is a different matter.

[FanjolinaJolie]

If you took the pill all the while with man 1, even though you may have ovulated during that time due to mini pill, your thickened cervical mucus would have provided a barrier to his sperm getting through.

Yes, sperm can live up to 5 days but this is in optimum conditions in the presence of highly fertile (egg white) cervical mucus. You won't have had this mucus while taking the mini pill. Without this most sperm will only live 1-2 days inside the female body.

I don't see you getting a DNA test. I think you can be pretty confident the baby is from man 2.

[honeybeeridiculous]

Just to say, I got pregnant whilst taking micronor, I had been taking it for 8 years, same time every day, had no sickness, no antibiotics and all of a sudden boom I was pregnant
It's not 100%

[FanjolinaJolie]

I think only about 96-97%

[Bogeyface]

So did antibiotics never affect the pill? Or has the pill changed?

I know a couple of women who blamed being on antibiotics when they got pg on the pill, both of which I suspected of engineering an "accident".

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

I thought antibiotics only affected the pill because they can cause stomach upset, and stomach upset can mean the pill is thrown up or expelled out before being absorbed properly? I have no idea why I think this though!

[Bogeyface]

That might be it, my grandma and my mum always suffer with bad runs when they take certain antibiotics.