Just found out I'm pregnant

[Suchabadtime]

I've come here for the traffic

Basically my last period was the 2/2 - 6/2 I had sex with a guy on the 8/2 however we used a condom. We slept together on the 12th 2/3 times without a comdom which was a MASSIVE mistake. I got back together with my ex on the 16th and we had sex numberous times thought the week and every time after usually 1-3 a day a couple of days a week I was on micronor and took it the same time everyday. The only days I missed out on were 20th & 22nd I was also put on antibiotics around the same time

I've just found out I'm pregnant My phone says I'm 5 days late but that is wrong sometimes by up to 2/3 days to early.

My average length is 26 days and my letaul phase As I worked out was 12 days (according to my phone so could be wrong)

Am I right in thinking it will be my ex/current partners.

I know I was stupid I never saw myself in this situation!

[ikeaismylocal]

I think it sounds likely that it is the 2nd guys baby, having said that there is a chance/risk that it is the 1st guys baby so if your pregnancy results in a baby I think you will need to do a paternity test.

It is good that it is out in the open with your partner, good luck with everything, goodness I really feel for you, early pregnancy is hard wnough without extra worries.

As an aside I would specifically ask for sti tests (not just the usual blood tests they do in pregnancy) to check you havn't picked up anything that could be transmitted to the baby if left untreated.

[Suchabadtime]

Sorry Tilly

I didn't use a condom with my partner (from the 16th) I didn't take the other pill no I just took it on the 21st as normal and then missed the 22nd

[Suchabadtime]

Ikea I'm all clear of STI's did a test before I found out I was pregnant.

It was the mini pill so I assume I ovulate if I miss them which I missed 3 out 4/5 and I only missed them with my partner and the other guys sperm would be long dead so that only leaves him?

[TillyTellTale]

Hell, I can't be sure, because contraception failure happens even with perfect use, but assuming that you didn't randomly ovulate early on, I think it's your partner's. Probably.

if you ovulated in response to missing the pill on the 20th, it would have taken time for the egg to be released. Surely it would have been 8/9 days by the time the egg started travelling down your fallopian tubes?

Does anyone know how long ovulation takes after missing a pill?

[ikeaismylocal]

Ikea I'm all clear of STI's did a test before I found out I was pregnant.

Did you do that test before or after you had unprotected sex with guy 1? Some STIs take a while to come up as positive on a test, HIV can take up to a year to show as positive for example.

[TillyTellTale]

You're on the mini-pill? Fuck, that changes everything! The mini-pill doesn't necessarily suppress ovulation at all.

[Suchabadtime]

Tilly

I've uploaded a picture of the test I did on sunday as you can see the lines is VERY faint, barely visable hense why I'm thinking it's my current partners as it took a good 2/3 minutes to come up and is very light.

With my son on the day of my period it was bold as brass.

[Suchabadtime]

Yeah, I'm on Micronor :/

[TillyTellTale]

You will need a DNA test. Micronor only suppresses ovulation in 50% of users. It mainly works by thickening vaginal fluid, and by changing the uterus lining to reduce implantation.

You may have already had a fertilised egg in there before you missed the first pill, which implanted after you missed the pills.

Your partner is still more likely to be the father, but the first guy is a possibility.

[TillyTellTale]

I'm sorry. Fertility is a horrible lottery. Unplanned babies there, conception difficulties there.

[Suchabadtime]

Tilly

Would this apply?

What if I decide I want to get pregnant again?

All you have to do to reverse the effects of the minipill is to stop using it. You don't have to finish your pill pack unless you want to.Consider yourself fertile 24 hours after you take your last pill.
Some practitioners recommend using a barrier method of contraception, such as condoms or a diaphragm, and waiting until you have a couple of normal periods before trying to conceive because this can help you establish a more accurate due date. Others will give you the go-ahead to start trying right away if you want to. If you do get pregnant before your periods become regular again, don't worry — you can have an early sonogram to date your pregnancy.

Is it likely that's what happened?

[Suchabadtime]

Thanks Tilly I feel like such a din, I always thought I'd be more sensible than this :(

[TheJumped]

Yikes, what a difficult one OP

Can you have paternity testing done while baby in uterus? If so, how early can you do this? Or would you and your partner be able to forget and just bring the child up together with him as father? You can't know without a DNA test, as others have pointed out.

Good luck.

[Suchabadtime]

TheJump

Nobody will do them unless other medical reasons are there. I also don't have the £700+ to have it done :(

ATM DP is adamant this is his child maybe I should just suppress these fellings and get on with it?

[TillyTellTale]

It could have been what's happened, but I really don't know. If the above happened, then you're in the 8/9 day region again, like I was hoping, and your ex is out of the frame.

I hate the mini-pills... Only thing I'm able to use, 'cos of hormonal issues in pregnancy, and I don't trust them much!

[Suchabadtime]

Tilly You mean guy 1? Ex is my now DP (was my ex, sorry if I confused you!)

I hate them too! I can only take these ones because I have a neurological condition and the normal pills can cause an imbalance in my brain for me :(

[TillyTellTale]

Ex, as in the guy who isn't your partner now. Sorry. I'm frantically googling stuff here!

The most obvious and likely scenario is that you ovulated after missing the pills, and it's your partner's.

The other possibility is that you are one of the 50% of women who still ovulate, that your ex's sperm made it through the specially thickened cervical mucus, hung around and fertilised an egg, and you stopped taking the pill just in time to let it implant. But that one sounds like the plot of a bad crime novel, with lots of crucial coincidences.

Without a test, you can't know, but you can strongly suspect.

[Suchabadtime]

So We can all strongly suspect that because I had sex with him last and we missed the pills the likelihood of it being his is pretty high because other guys sperm would of died by that time!

I can't believe I've got myself into this position!

[TheJumped]

I'm sure there are a huge number of people brought up to think their father isn't who they think it is, it was in the news recently.

But I'm not sure if I could do that - I'd think carefully about that, if it means lying to your child for the rest of its life. I think you have to get the test done - now or when it's born - and then work out from there what to do. As there's a strong likelihood it's your DP's, chances are it will be fine - but you will always wonder if you don't test, which isn't fair on anyone involved.

[Suchabadtime]

That's the thing, this is keeping me up at night already I don't know if I can do it. :(

It's very strongly my DP's

[Bogeyface]

As I said above, you need to assume worst case scenario and base your decisions on that.

What if it is the other mans baby? Will your DP stay and happily raise the child as his own? Will you put him on the BC and never tell the child? Are you prepared and able to bring up your children alone if your DP decides that actually he cant do any of that, and leaves?

And I am going to get flamed for this but I have to say that with this to-ing and fro-ing and breaking up and getting back together, perhaps you are not in a good place to be having a baby right now, regardless of who the father is.

[Suchabadtime]

Bogey

I would put my DP on the BC, he is stating this baby is his and it probably is that. I will bring them up alone obviously if he decided to go however we've talked about it and he is adamant he is staying. We've split up once and had the time apart where all we both wanted was each other.

[IRCL]

isn't it illegal to put someone who you know might not be the dad on the bc?

I would get a DNA test I couldn't live with the what ifs.

[ifyourehoppyandyouknowit]

such do you actually want to have this baby? Because that's the first thing I would decide. Unplanned pregnancy does not have to = having a baby.

I think your DP needs to ask himself some very honest questions - does he want to find out (DNA) test if the baby is his, if it isn't will he change his mind? Would you tell the guy you aren't with?

[Suchabadtime]

It wasn't planned far from. But I could never get an abortion. I thought about it with DP and we couldn't do it, I personally couldn't live with that. He doesn't want to find out, he looked at the liklihood and is happy to say it is his baby the first just seems to unlikely.

I wouldn't tell the guy I'm not with, I have no way to get in contact with him and he wouldn't be interested either way.