Just found out I'm pregnant

[Suchabadtime]

I've come here for the traffic

Basically my last period was the 2/2 - 6/2 I had sex with a guy on the 8/2 however we used a condom. We slept together on the 12th 2/3 times without a comdom which was a MASSIVE mistake. I got back together with my ex on the 16th and we had sex numberous times thought the week and every time after usually 1-3 a day a couple of days a week I was on micronor and took it the same time everyday. The only days I missed out on were 20th & 22nd I was also put on antibiotics around the same time

I've just found out I'm pregnant My phone says I'm 5 days late but that is wrong sometimes by up to 2/3 days to early.

My average length is 26 days and my letaul phase As I worked out was 12 days (according to my phone so could be wrong)

Am I right in thinking it will be my ex/current partners.

I know I was stupid I never saw myself in this situation!

[x2boys]

oh I, so sorry whats more important your partner or your baby? I,m certainly not going to judge you I did some pretty stupid things when I was single and if I had conceived I may not of been sure who the father was luckily I have never been in that position you need help to make any decision I feel for you I really do

[Branleuse]

i think he's pretty reasonable and honest to say that he wants you to terminate in these circumstances, and its just now your choice whether you do or not, but i wouldnt count on him to stick around, or the other guy, whatever you do.

[SuchABadTime]

My babies are more important than him by far

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

So he broke off your engagement because his friend told him to? He's telling you to terminate because his friend told him to? He's an idiot OP. Can he not think for himself?

OP, the worst thing you can do is have a termination to try and keep him happy or because you think it might save your relationship, it won't. If you want to keep the baby then do. If you decide not to, that's fine too. But only because you have made that decision.

[TillyTellTale]

Yerwhat?

Ye gods, this man makes no sense!

He dares to emotionally blackmail you? Love, if he loved you properly, he would not try and force you to terminate. And no-one, no-one stops loving someone else because they're pregnant.

I am pro-choice. The operative word in there is choice. You can choose to terminate, or you can choose to continue the pregnancy. But it has to be your choice, because it's your body.

[Finola1step]

Such the best thing you can do now is to end the relationship. Then give yourself some time to decide what you want to do. Without his pressure. I really feel for you. What rl support do you have?

[x2boys]

well then you have your answer keep your baby and tell your partner to go to hell best wishes

[SuchABadTime]

Because we argued after his friend told him to end the engagement

He's been okay, flitted between wanting to be friends with benefits and in a relationship when he gets drunk he calls me stupid, and an idiot, swears at me etc

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

He sounds quite abusive. It's not a good relationship to be in. No one should be swearing at youand calling you names, it's not acceptable.

As they say on mn: LTB.

[x2boys]

he does nt sound like a nice man this is not a good relationship.

[SuchABadTime]

I have a best friend who's DC is 6 weeks older than mine that's about it

[SuchABadTime]

LTB? Leave the bastard?

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

Yep! He doesn't sound like a nice man, regardless of your pregnancy. If he loved you he wouldn't treat you like that. Don't forget the influence he may have on your 2 year old too.

[SuchABadTime]

I think I want this baby.

But I'm a single parent to one already what if I can't cope

[x2boys]

well your coping now ?

[TillyTellTale]

No-one can or should make the decision for you. But. You're a single parent already? So, you know what to do with a baby already, don't you?

Your relationship doesn't sound like much fun, really.

[Pobblewhohasnotoes]

What's the alternative? You stay with him, have an abortion, end up resenting him and eventually hating him. Meanwhile he is getting drunk, and his abusive behaviour gets worse (which it will). Oh and he's so easily influenced he'll do anything his stupid friend tells him to. Your 2 year old grows up thinking this behaviour is normal.

Or, you leave. Yes you'll be a single parent but it's better than staying in an abusive relationship.

Have you posted on the relationships board OP? It might be worth it. There's some excellent advice over there.

[Finola1step]

Right on a practical note. If you keep the baby, there are things you can do to help you cope. The big one will be nursery provision for your older child. When will s/he turn 3? You need to work out when you will get your 15 hours free provision and use it! If you are receiving certain benefits, you may be entitled to the 15 hours now. Your local children's centre can help you find out.

Does your so called DP live with you and contribute financially? You need to find out what is available to you as a single parent because whatever you decide about the baby, you will end up as a single parent. He might sniff around for a fwb set up, but he is not long term partner material.

Have you kept the baby stuff? If not, has your friend got bits you can borrow?

There is nothing wrong in having 2 dc at 21. It may not be other people's ideal, but it is not wrong.

Where are your own family in this? Have you told your friend?

[SuchABadTime]

Yeah I'm only 21 :)

I am coping now. I adore my DC to pieces! I'm already imagining buying the clothes, holding it etc

[HelloBoys]

Ah OP just saw you're 21.

I've just skimmed through but being a single parent with no abusive partner is far better than being a parent in a relative with an abusive partner.

You're so young to be dealing with the abuse. And 2 kids at your age is fine. OK it won't be a walk in the park bringing them up single handed but you'll cope.

All the best whatever happens.

[HelloBoys]

Oh just seen the rest of thread a bit - don't FFS let this man force you into a termination.

I'd be after him from CSA once baby is born if he didn't pay maintenance, serves the bugger right. men eh, they can have sex but if it goes tits up they can't take responsibility for their sperm being part of it.