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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My partner told friends that she has had 110 partners last night

526 replies

Plutorover · 02/03/2014 09:47

My partner of 7 years who is 40 told some friends that she had slept with approximately 110 men in the past. I did know this, but feel angry that she decided to tell others. It was at a school reunion do that I was not at. The question was specifically asked in a finding out game. I don't understand why she didn't tell them to mind their own business or lie.

She has hinted at it before to my brother too. May have actually told him but I'm unsure.

Why would she do this? Am I wrong to feel aggrieved about this?
Thanks
Confused and angry bloke

OP posts:
hickorychicken · 02/03/2014 20:10

Theres a difference between lying and saying "This is personal, I'm not saying.".

NoodleOodle · 02/03/2014 20:10

YABU, who cares, and why would they?

frumpet · 02/03/2014 20:10

Because i am getting the impression that there are folk who believe it is a bad thing , a very rude and dirty thing even , despite it being between two consenting adults , have i missed something ?

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/03/2014 20:11

I concur.

scottishmummy · 02/03/2014 20:11

I dint think op retelling on mn is a problem.plenty women discuss their dh
I've read the minutiae of folks relationships on mn,and emotional,sexual detail
No one rocks up and reprimands women discussing their dh

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/03/2014 20:13

I concur with SM too.

brettgirl2 · 02/03/2014 20:13

I don't understand the sexism aspect but I would be Shock if it was a bloke I was with. Would put me right off. All this 'lots of sex' nonsense. I expect most people who have had lots of partners have had less sex than those who have been in relationships.

scottishmummy · 02/03/2014 20:14

Of course I'd lie in a truth game,I'd put myself in a wholly favourable light
I'd also not discuss my relationship with acquaintances
I wouldn't cause my dp to feel put out or embarrassed

shakethetree · 02/03/2014 20:15

Scottishmummy - very very few of those men ( if any ) will be members of mumsnet, so they'll never see the threads.

VivianStanshall · 02/03/2014 20:16

There's a difference though scottishmummy he has deliberately come onto a forum he knows she uses to post this.

If women on here were registering on Pistonheads specifically to complain about their bloke on the forum they know he uses people would think it a bit off.

WilsonFrickett · 02/03/2014 20:16

Not you frumpet but more than a few posters seem to have missed the last oh, 50 years.

News flash: it's ok to sleep with as many people as you want even if you possess a vagina.

BiscuitsAreMyDownfall · 02/03/2014 20:17

Im confused (doesn't take a lot to be fair)

One minute she's telling a small village where the OP is embarrassed about everyone knowing, the next it is a school reunion with people she has not seen for years (therefore I expect wont see again for years if ever).

Also as it was during a game, Im assuming drink was consumed. I bet only half the people (at most) remember and only a handful of them will care and even less of them will actually care enough to gossip.

scottishmummy · 02/03/2014 20:17

So what?mn hosts people disclosing personal aspects of life,relationship
Penis beaker, the much loved you do whaaaat.no one said oh that poor man needs privacy
There no issue in op discussing his wife,given women discuss their dp

Fairenuff · 02/03/2014 20:18

Theres a difference between lying and saying "This is personal, I'm not saying."

Yes, there is a difference. And you have the right to choose whether or not you disclose the truth. So does OP's partner. She did what she felt comfortable with and you do what you feel comfortable with.

Why is your way right, and her way wrong?

MajorGrinch · 02/03/2014 20:19

Hmm, torn here - I don't think I'd personally be boasting about shagging a man every 2 months for 17 years, but as my number is nowhere near that it's not something I'm going to worry about.

I'd be more interested in what the OP has that none of the others had & how long it's going to last!!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/03/2014 20:21

No one knows how many people I've slept with - not even me. ;)
I like it that way.

frumpet · 02/03/2014 20:22

I still believe that OP is in for a whole lot wanton flirting and crotch staring , you are the one that tamed the insatiable appetite of your partner , after 109 others tried Grin

Caitlin17 · 02/03/2014 20:22

She didn't tell everyone in a small village. She told people at a school reunion. Unless everyone she went to school with now coincidentally have moved to the same small village she and the OP now live in it's irrelevant to the discussion.

The OP A mentioned the small village point. I don't follow why.

Crowler · 02/03/2014 20:24

For those of you who feel this is patriarchy: Is it OK to feel 110 is too many for a man?

frumpet · 02/03/2014 20:25

I would also add that i have to my shame admitted to a whole host of unsavoury truths whilst under the influence of one two many grape juices , so go easy on your partner OP , unless you are life long teetotal who has never ever ever done or said anything rash in the same situation.

BillyBanter · 02/03/2014 20:26

I think if you think 110 is too many then you should think it is too many for men and women.

MajorGrinch · 02/03/2014 20:27

Is it OK to feel 110 is too many for a man?

I think 110 is too many for anyone TBH.

Smacks of low self esteem, issues & insecurity to me - but hey, that must mean I'm not modern & "with it"....

JohnFarleysRuskin · 02/03/2014 20:30

I don't think its too many.

I just think if dh went to a school reunion and told people his mysterious number, and also told my ds, I would think he was a loon with over-sharing issues.

Crowler · 02/03/2014 20:30

Maybe I'm accidentally more modern than I thought I was, but it would never occur to me to think that 110 is too many for a woman but not a man.

I think it's symptomatic not of being a slapper, but a tiny bit pathetic just as any kind of rush to intimacy is. Like making new best friends too quickly.

hickorychicken · 02/03/2014 20:30

I dont think 110 is too many but i wouldnt be telling people. And nor would i tell if id had 5 partners. Such a thing as over sharing.