My partner told friends that she has had 110 partners last night

[Plutorover]

My partner of 7 years who is 40 told some friends that she had slept with approximately 110 men in the past. I did know this, but feel angry that she decided to tell others. It was at a school reunion do that I was not at. The question was specifically asked in a finding out game. I don't understand why she didn't tell them to mind their own business or lie.

She has hinted at it before to my brother too. May have actually told him but I'm unsure.

Why would she do this? Am I wrong to feel aggrieved about this?
Thanks
Confused and angry bloke

YABU about being pissed off now, bit late isn't it? If you really have issues with women that have had a high amount of sexual partners then you should ask in the beginning then bugger off. I've not had 110 but I've had a fair few and I'm aware there are some double standard twat faced bastards out there so I do make it clear and give them a chance to go (actually, give ME a chance to find out what sort of guy they are) you sound judgemental.

'it's adding another man's opinion on a board of mostly women'

Yes, because I find that the lack of male opinions a major issue. They're so under-represented on the Internet as a whole. In fact it's hard to find a site where their voice isn't completely drowned out by the opinions of women.

Meh, I wouldn't like it if my DH told load of friends how many he slept with in a game.
NB I don't know how many people he's slept with.
We're private like that.

If you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who has had 110 partners then don't be in a relationship with them. It's not compulsory. Don't be in a relationship with them and then tantrum when they won't tell lies about themselves.

I'm a male:

I'd leave it mate, move on. Aside from the obvious consideration which you have obviously decided you can deal with, she is going around people you care about embarrassing you and pushing buttons, I suspect your reaction is being eagerly anticipated so you can be painted as the most unreasonable man in the world.

Appreciate you probably won't, but if you're already upset now... no, don't be somebody's plaything.

I don't know why she told everybody in a small village.
1 or 110. I'd have said, 'snot your business.

What a nasty, spiteful little thread.

I hope she moves on to 111 (or is it twelve?) and has a bloody great time doing it too.

I don't think OP is THAT unreasonable...I wouldn't share with everyone how many men I've slept with, just think it's personal and private.
ESPECIALLY to people I hadn't seen for a long time or my partners brother!

People only tell lies when they have something to hide. She clearly did not feel that she had something to hide. OP clearly feels that she does. Therefore it is his issue, not hers, or their neighbours.

OP you have told her all these years that you're fine with it. You are not fine with it. You have been lying to your partner for 7 years.

I have a fairly good idea why a woman tells everyone that in a small village. Setting the scene for drama at the expense of somebody else.

Seriously OP, 30 mile exclusion zone.

I do think it's all a bit histrionic,disclosing ones sexual history to acquaintances

I'd far rather my partner was honest with me though, because let's face it some people do lie about their sexual history, how would you ever know? - so yes, as long as it wasn't done in a bragging way then it's better to be honest. & thinking about it, I'd rather have a partner who got it out of their system in their younger days than one who runs off with the nanny at 45.

There is an alternative to lying. Seriously, why wouldn't an adult say, I'm not telling?

this little secret of hers? Ours?

It's NOT your 'secret'.

It's HER sexual history. HERS.

She is perfectly entitled to share HER history with anyone she damn well pleases.

I can't believe you've posted this on here when you know she is a MNer.

Trog DFOD

OP - yanu - I wouldn't be particularly keen for my OH to tell my siblings such private information. And it is an extremely large number that would suggest quite a casual attitude to sex in either a man or a woman. If you yourself have a different attitude to sex I can see how the number would bother you. My OH and I have each had less than 5 sexual partners. We have a similar attitude to sex and no inclination to have it with strangers. I'm also not really impressed when people start sharing details of their sex lives with people they barely know. It is uncomfortable for everybody and unnecessary.

I think you are getting a hard time on here tonight. I think some people are implying you only think 110 is a large number because your OH is a woman when in fact it is an incredibly large number for anyone. You should not let it worry you now though. If she is with only you now her past is irrelevant.

She wasn't stood on a podium with a loudhaler.

My dad will tell all and sundry about his endowment policies while mum mutters about not telling everyone their financial business. Then my mum was open about being diagnosed with depression and going on ADs while dad mumbled something about beta blockers. They have different ideas about what is private and what is to be shared. Still been happily married for 50 years.

People in people are different shocker. The OP is hardly a monster for having slightly different ideas about privacy, or having a bit of insecurity about what people will think. He's just human.

Nice theory shakethetree but if it is unacceptable for the other partner then that is relationship over / not started.

Reading this thread for some women it's not acceptable in a man. Good, it would be nice to get rid of the double standard.

scottishmummy Yep, it's bizarre - I don't think any reasonable, mentally competent human being would consider doing this.

Of course as has been mentioned this does shine a light on whether you have a problem with it or not (not judging if you do actually, I doubt most of us would want to get into our partner's sexual history too closely), but I suspect that may be the leverage with which you will be made out to be an evil git.

Button-pushing and muck spreading among people's family/neighbours for fun, are things I have come to see as warning signs of badness tbh.

Apologies if it's already been pointed out...

So you're embarrassed she told a few school friends, but you're ok with repeating it on a public internet forum that you both use, along with thousands of others?

Yeah that makes a shit load of sense.

I really think this is about her telling people rather than the number. I think some things are best kept between a couple and this is one. She has NOTHING to be ashamed off but its nobody elses business.
Dp might shag me up the arse tonight but i won't be telling my school reunion because....ITS PERSONAL!!

I have no issue with anyone number,I do query circumstance of the disclosure
It does have an attention seeking aspect to it,and she could anticipate it'd be salacious
It's not a gender thing,equally if a guy disclosed number,I'd think attention seeking.bit Russell brand

The thing is, people never forget sexual stuff. There have been a million brilliant threads on mumsnet but there is one famous one: penis beaker.

A few years ago, a friend, lets call her Sue, told me something she and husband do in bed (I did not ask!). I hadn't heard of before. Now, in my head, she is always 'weird rude thing sue'.

The Op's partner has now christened herself '110peopleSue'.

Its not the number but the disclosure of the number I'd be miffed at.

Hickory chicken, but if they asked you, why would you lie??!

So , because i am a bit behind the times , having been married for quite a while , if sex between two consensual adults isnt a bad thing , then when is it a bad thing ?