My partner told friends that she has had 110 partners last night

[Plutorover]

My partner of 7 years who is 40 told some friends that she had slept with approximately 110 men in the past. I did know this, but feel angry that she decided to tell others. It was at a school reunion do that I was not at. The question was specifically asked in a finding out game. I don't understand why she didn't tell them to mind their own business or lie.

She has hinted at it before to my brother too. May have actually told him but I'm unsure.

Why would she do this? Am I wrong to feel aggrieved about this?
Thanks
Confused and angry bloke

He definitely doesn't have even a hint of a Madonna/whore complex and he really is a lovely bloke, wouldn't hurt a fly and would be mortified to think he had caused any upset. Anyway we will knuckle off back to rl where unfortunately in our village, people do get judged for their behaviour and there are always people who would try to take advantage.

If I had slept with 110 men I would have lied!

I couldn't give a fig about male perspective from posters' DHs. It always makes me

Anyway we will knuckle off back to rl where unfortunately in our village, people do get judged for their behaviour and there are always people who would try to take advantage.

Sounds perfect for you both then!

You also have to remember that maybe a lot of these partners were many years ago when she was a lot younger.
Double and treble figures were quite the norm in the 80's and early 90's we all thought we were going to die from AIDS anyway.

I agree Vibrissa.

I've just asked my dh about this - he says he wouldn't have a problem with it all & that what she did in the past is her business, he'd only be concerned about their future.

Why say this? I'm trying to say this tactfully, but what has your husband got to do with anything? If he's posting on here, of course he's welcome to his opinion, but to bring that up as though that should then be the end of the discussion is just daft.

Vibrissa: I wasn't posting my dh's views for you personally, the only reason I asked him ( & he didn't even know it was mumsnet related, in fact he doesn't even know I post on here & has never even heard of it ) was because this thread was started by a man & I was just curious to see how he'd feel - very sorry, it will never happen again

I agree with imperialblether. That's why it irritates me, people posting their husband's viewpoint.

She wouldn't need to fend anyone off since it's easy to make men aware you are not interested and she is quite capable of doing that. Any tit who felt her reputation was an invite would be a total arse.
The point I was trying to get to was was I being unreasonable to be pissed off that this little secret of hers? Ours? was said to all and sundry.
The consensus was that I was, as it should not matter, so I was in the wrong. Ok.
Problem still lies with the fact that other people do view and judge as this thread has so clearly shown. I'm not trying to protect her she doesn't need me for that. Was I trying to protect some inbuilt feelings of my reputation with being with her perhaps? Do I want other people knowing that I'm with a "slag"? Cause that is what many of you have said, not that she is a slag, but that I'm not wanting others to view me as being with one, and therefore I must think she is myself to some extent.
Well I don't. And it's incorrect to suggest otherwise.

Btw I just asked her how she felt about telling them and she said she regrets it.

She does not know I'm on mumsnet.
I only signed up this morning.

Arses will judge Pluto and we really don't care what arses think now, do we?

Does she regret saying it because of fear of their reaction or because of the drama you are making it out to be?

I bet none of the people from the reunion care as much as you do about her number.

110 people is a lot if people. Too many for my liking. Irrespective if whether you are male or female.

It would perhaps make me Hoik my judgey pants up if a bloke or woman I knew told me this. Rightly/wrongly it's a lot.

I understand why you'd not want everyone to know, you love her, you have children, what if someone's teen overhears a conversation and then says stuff?
I confided in a friend once how young I was when I first had sex and she told her fucking daughter!!! I was LIVID, how dare she? That would be my concern, that it gets passed round out of context.

My friend couldn't understand how devastated I was, I was terrified my daughter, who was 1 yr younger than I was when I first had sex at that point, would be told. I guess I was scared I'd be "slut shamed". Luckily she agreed to go back to her daughter and do the whole "omg I got it so wrong" thing.
I think you're getting an extra hard time because you're a bloke, but I would feel the same if it was a bloke who'd slept with that many.
I don't know, I'm garbling it now.
I like that you knew and don't care, but other people DO judge and do care.

Never mind whether she knows you are on Mumsnet.

Does SHE use Mumsnet?

No drama here.....as I said she does not know I'm on here. I was clever enough to realise that my anger may have been unfair so I sort out YOUR opinions. Not sure if there is a definitive answer but i don't feel angry any more!

F**k em eh Katie?

If she uses mumsnet will she see this?

Indeed Pluto, you know her for the wonderful woman she is. If others choose to judge her over something so trivial, says more about them than it ever could about her.

I think women should sleep with whomever they want, whenever they want. That said, I think discussing a specific number is just crass and I'd be really embarrased if my husband did that.

Of course. It's not in the super secret section where nobody ever goes.

Of course, she may not see it, but it's making active convos and it's on the first page of this section so in all probability she will see it.

Not that clever then whoops