to think people are selfish to not go to a wedding if it's adults only?

[Birdo83]

Just read another thread where several members said they would refuse to go to a wedding if their children weren't invited. Not for child care reasons but just cause they thought it wasn't right.

Space at weddings are limited what with both peoples friends and family. Are people really expecting some of the bride or grooms friends or family not to attend THEIR wedding so people's kids can take up all the seats? Our wedding was adults only because of course I wanted to prioritise my loved ones over other peoples children who, on the whole, don't mean so much to me. I'd have to have turned several of my closest friends if I'd let everyone bring all their children which I'd hate to do.

It's also worrying how many people can't seem to enjoy themselves without their kids. Ditto people who refuse to go to parties that our adults only. Very odd.

saintlyjimjams sometimes in life i like to put my friends first. Not at the expense of anyones wellbeing or safety but sometimes i would go to things such as birthdays hen dos etc that would not be up my street that cost money i could probably spend elsewhere on things i would rather do. I go because i love my true friends and we are all different and i want to be there for them as i have said above in the good times and the bad. I enjoy spending time with them and seeing them happy more than the material or inconveniences trouble me.

I can see from some of the threads above that i am in fact mental and would be better off pursing my lips and letting them get on with their selfish celebrations alone and without me whilst i sat at home all bar humbug. Hopefully one day I will be left off the invite list entirely or would i then be starting a thread saying AIBU to be upset at not being invited?

I would remember if a close friend refused to come to my wedding because they couldn't be bothered. In fact I know a close relative probably won't come to my wedding for this reason, no children involved, and it hurts like hell that they can't be bothered coming to the only event of my adult life where I want the people I love there.

hotdog oooh where are there venues where the dress code stipulates heel heights? must be super posh

For me:

1. can i not be seated to anyone whos got the hump their pfb or pfc were not invited.
2. can i not be seated next to anyone who resents spending their time and money being at the wedding.
3. can we help pick merrys brodesmaid dress please?

Just completing the seating plan....

Somerset and hotdog you are also bridesmaids so don't worry about shoes....you will be supplied with satin pumps to wear with your apricot meringue dress

I think if its an adult only wedding and you genuinely haven't got any one to have the kids then obv its not selfish, its just unfortunate

I think sometimes when the people who are getting married haven't got kids of their own yet they don't always realise that finding a day and nights childcare esp for very young babies/children isn't that easy esp if most of your relatives are going to be at the wedding!!

The last wedding invite I had said something about children not being invited so the parents could have a break from them they don't have children of their own so I don't think they really get it just yet!!

For me:

1. See Somersetlady's above
2. See Somersetlady's above
3. Dancing. There must be dancing!

Piper there will be plenty of opportunity for throwing a few shapes on the dance floor

< however there sadly won't be any five year olds skidding across it on their knees>

1scoop, thank god, I always fall over them mid-twerk.

Can you twerk in an apricot meringue?

I'v never tried, but I have a feeling it may end up more like some form of dessert having a seizure.

Actually yes Jaded. I don't care if they don't want to spend Christmas with me, although they do. Or if they don't want to come to a birthday or aniversary party. I am only going to get married once. It is an important event.

I will have many birthdays, aniversaries and Christmases. It is different.

Weddings - for me it would be the simpler the better. A buffet or BBQ, relaxed clothing, a later ceremony so you don't have to spend all day there, a band, a disco, lots of smiling.

I don't like posh outfits, seating plans, seated set meals, all day events where you have ceremony at 1200, 2 hours of fecking photos, food at 1600, evening do at 2000.

No you are wrong. It is not all consuming. I am having a very very low key wedding, very informal. But my marriage is important and so I would like those who I love, to be at my wedding. I am in my late 40's, so not a young teenager and I have never been married before.

But you are obviously not going to understand.

"2 hours of fecking photos"

That is definitely the worst bit of a wedding.

Of course I want close friends at birthdays for example. I won't actually know who comes to my funeral. But birthdays and aniversaries are parties. And there will be lots of them. So as long as some of my loved ones come, that is fine.

Unlike birthdays and aniversaries, the only thing that will only happen once that I would like people to celebrate, is my wedding. And I am not talking about less important relatives. I am talking about a very close relative who can't be bothered.

Of course I take that personally. How else would I take it?

LtEve - That's my kind of wedding

As for heel heights - I went to a mates wedding last year where all the women were wearing dresses and super high heels. Think TOWIE.
I turned up in skinny leg trews and normal height heels. I also had a pair of flats in my bag. They were so jealous 2 hours in.

I'm not into seated meals too - I end up necking too much wine so i'm pissed even before the party starts.

Twerking in a meringue dress?

I want to go to that wedding

I'm never getting married. I don't know the etiquette, I swear I missed the class on 'wedding shite' that all other girls went to. I'm terrified of insulting everyone. So if my dp ever gets round to asking me I'm just going to say no. Or go to a field somewhere and hop over brooms like they used to do.

only1scoop i cant wait for the first dress fitting -is it floor length apricot meringue or will the peach satin pumps be on show?

If there is twerking going on then thank goodness it's child free........

interestly enough if you google bridemaids twerking no images come up-maybe we could be the first??

please tell me have to buy our own shoes and the hen is somewhere abroad so i can start a thread " AIBU not to want to pay for my own bridesmaid shoes and travel abroad for the hen do?"

hotdog we had a basket full of salon/spa flip flops in the corner of the marquee at our wedding in varying colours so people could colour co-ordinate. Maybe we should so the same for this one just in case the TOWIE esc set are invited without their children obviously