To think this wasn't offensive?

[CasioBlues]

I work in an office, and after meetings, there are often spare sandwiches that are offered around.

I work in one group. A group of people of a similar level, all friends, were talking today and someone mentioned these sandwiches were brought to their group by a female member of staff, and also friend. A friend in another group mentioned sandwiches also came around to their group by a female member of staff.

A male friend in my group quipped about the member of staff who brings them around "what a slag!". A few of us laughed, one friend found it really offensive.

I think among friends, it was obviously a joke on the "promiscuity" of sandwiches, but I'm prepared to admit I was wrong to think it wasn't offensive. It wasn't very professional, but among friends?

The thing about the more intelligent comedians is that people go to see them expecting sophisticated jokes. They are looking for the point of the joke. They aren't sitting there thinking "Is that what he really thinks about Germany? Dreadful!" Or if they are, then they are precisely the people that the joke is about.

The thing about everyday life is that people don't carefully compile and rehearse their jokes, while thinking 'Now, how can I get across my complicated and sophisticated views about the historical oppression of women and their sexuality while simultaneously exposing the outdated views of others around me?'

When people make off-the-cuff jokes, they generally dip into what's readily available for them in terms of attitudes and views. Calling someone a slag is far more likely to be a thoughtless dip into a widespread view of certain women's behaviour, rather than a carefully constructed social comment by humour.

Kungfu, it's a good job me and friends are sophisticated enough to get this kind of humour

I don't know. Sometimes you say silly outrageous even inslulting things to friends that you would never say to strangers or just acquaintances and mostly you wouldn't take offence.

If the work colleague handing out the sandwiches had been male, would he have been called a "slag"? No? Then right there is your answer why this was offensive. And not sophisticated,ffs.

OP someone could come and say you were a slag because you've put about one point of view so many times! Or a sandwich slagger pimp because you've been flogging the sand POV for so long!
Geddit??
Funny, right?

Ok, we're going around in circles here. I understand how some people see this as offensive, and I can understand because of their experiences, they would read the sitation in one way. However, I also think that the context is different from how some are perceiving it, and so I also understand how it was meant as a joke that two of three people who were actually there, (and the 'target' later on) understood, and could see the context

"Same POV", even.

Zombie, you wouldn't be slut shaming me there, would you? How terribly offensive

I'm off now

By your logic, not offensive.
Funneee

cobalt I wouldn't say anything as friendly banter at work which could be construed as unprofessional or at odds with the reputation or ethos of my company. I can't imagine why anyone would do otherwise and I'd be questioning the values of someone who thought the comments the OP mentions are acceptable in the workplace.

You still aren't getting it are you OP? Stuff your so called context. The comment to many of us is simply unacceptable.

I hope to goodness your institution gets some appropriate training in place for you and your colleagues.

So its one of those AIBU? YAbU...no I'm not and anyone you don't understand what I'm saying, ad nauseum.
Tedious.

Ilovesooty, go ahead and be offended by it- honestly, feel free, that's fine with me

MN should create a new category alongside Classics called "Super soaker Threads" and this should be the inaugural entry.

I don't need your permission thank you.

And in my workplace I'd have challenged it and if the person didn't take the challenge on board I'd report it.

But then we have won equality awards, have decent training and understand howunacc it is. Unlike you and your colleagues.

How unacceptable

I delivered training on unacceptable workplace language last week. I never thought to discuss the word slag - it's so obviously offensive in my view.

Me too ilovesooty, delivered training some months ago. something like this would have merited a warning for sure had it happened on my watch.

Excellent! As the ones who seem to think this is a super soaker thread, it does show the influence of confirmation on the way we think. This is one of those that is a pretty even 50/50 thread.

I meant confirmation bias. Anyway, live and learn

Keep repeating it so you believe it OP

Apart from your attempts to justify your workplace ethos I can't imagine what point you're making.

Do you have an equality policy? When did you last have any training?

I don't need to make myself believe it, I can count

So, a 50% chance of offensiveness is ok then is it? If I said something and it was offensive to 10% of the people on here (perhaps those who'd had the misfortune to have this insult directed at them) that would be more than enough to make me stop saying it.

So does your institution have an up to date policy which you have signed to confirm you have read and understood? Have you been trained in equality?