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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this wasn't offensive?

525 replies

CasioBlues · 27/02/2014 23:19

I work in an office, and after meetings, there are often spare sandwiches that are offered around.

I work in one group. A group of people of a similar level, all friends, were talking today and someone mentioned these sandwiches were brought to their group by a female member of staff, and also friend. A friend in another group mentioned sandwiches also came around to their group by a female member of staff.

A male friend in my group quipped about the member of staff who brings them around "what a slag!". A few of us laughed, one friend found it really offensive.

I think among friends, it was obviously a joke on the "promiscuity" of sandwiches, but I'm prepared to admit I was wrong to think it wasn't offensive. It wasn't very professional, but among friends?

OP posts:
fideline · 28/02/2014 14:53

It's not about sex though is it?

fideline · 28/02/2014 14:54

It's about sandwiches/promiscuity/sandwich-promiscuity Hmm

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 14:54

No, it's not, it's about sandwiches!

OP posts:
fideline · 28/02/2014 14:56

Cas are you under 30?

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 14:57

No

OP posts:
SofaCanary · 28/02/2014 14:58

This is reminding me of the ad campaign for 'Pot Noodle, the slag of snacks'

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2202298.stm

SofaCanary · 28/02/2014 14:59

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/2202298.stm

fideline · 28/02/2014 15:02

Hmm. I am finding it very hard to see where you're coming from, TBH.

Usually i can understand the rationale or motivation of people I disagree with, but i'm drawing a blank here.

It's just ODD, not funny at all enough to risk causing offense. Not offensive enough to have huge shock value for those that find that funny. Just Odd.

Cravey · 28/02/2014 15:05

Stop making exscuses for a horrid remark. He was offensive and rude. And so were you for laughing at it. Let's be honest he wasn't talking about the sandwiches he was talking about the lady who handed them round. Not funny. You sound like a terrific bunch of workmates. Not.

Cravey · 28/02/2014 15:06

Also if you're talking about sex then how can you joke about sex ? Would you like a spade to dig your hole a little deeper ?

MajorGrinch · 28/02/2014 15:07

I totally see where you're coming from & wouldn't find it offensive among friends.

YANBU

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 28/02/2014 15:07

Haha cravey this hole is already as deep as it gets.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 28/02/2014 15:07

So totally a super soaker thread.

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:08

I don't think it was the funniest joke in the history of the world, but I can see the humour

OP posts:
Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:10

But it was obvious to everyone that no-one would remotely have making any negative connotations about the 'target' of the joke

OP posts:
fideline · 28/02/2014 15:11

So you didn't think it was shocking, you didn't think it was in any way offensive, you didn't think it was overly-funny and you were quite sure your opinion was correct?

So why did you post an AIBU exactly?

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:11

I'm not sure that I'm unreasonable, but the thread is about 50/50

OP posts:
Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:12

or not unreasonable, but asking for opinions

OP posts:
Cravey · 28/02/2014 15:12

S you think it's funny that another woman is called a slag. For whatever reason. I'm really struggling to see why this is funny. I'm also thinking it's really unprofessional. But it's ok. You just carry on calling some poor woman a slag, while shovelling the sandwiches she bought round down your vile mouths ! By the way. That last sentence wasn't meant to be offensive. I thought it was funny !!!

SarahBumBarer · 28/02/2014 15:15

It is not a requirement of AIBU that a person changes their mind. You can listen to all the arguments and still conclude that YANBU.

It was offensive though OP, IMO. I do get the joke, I also get the fact that the outrageousness of the comment makes it kind of shock value funny but to not find the joke offensive is to not find the casual value judgement that a woman who has sex freely is a slag (since the transfer of the term slag to the free offering of sandwiches is based on this) is offensive.

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:17

Let me be clear, I don't think it is immoral or wrong for women to have sex freely - and I'm fairly certain no-one in the group thinks so either

OP posts:
SarahBumBarer · 28/02/2014 15:22

Then you should be offended by the casual use of a term in which that judgement is inherent.

HungryHorace · 28/02/2014 15:24

I wouldn't say that this thread is 50/50 at all. I think it's definitely more against you than that.

I don't find the 'joke' funny, but I don't know if I'd gave been offended. Surprised, definitely, but I think I'd have had to be there to decide whether I was offended or not.

Original poster
CasioBlues · 28/02/2014 15:26

If no-one in the group believes it though - I would be offended if someone said it, and meant it - isn't it a bit similar to the humour of Pub Landlord - Al Murray doesn't actually believe the french are bad, or whatever

OP posts:
fideline · 28/02/2014 15:29

Well why not call her a sandwich-n**r then? Surely that would be a hilarious 'play' on the fact that she was handing out food, just like (wait-for-it Grin millions of humans in forced slavery situations did for centuries (and still do in some parts of world).

Geddit?

Clearly the fact that none of you are racist, or support slavery would make that a cleverly ironic play on words?

Cause outdated, deeply offensive attitudes are invalidated by witty parody, right?

Like i said; odd.