To think that parents should occasionally let their pubic hair grow as nature intended to educate their children as to what adult bodies look like?

[ikeaismylocal]

I have been having this discussion with dp, our dc are still very young so puberty is a long way off but I was wondering how children know that pubic hair is normal if they only every see their parents with minimal/absent pubic hair?

Dp has light hair and shaves his pubic hair most of the time so he doesn't really have any visable pubic hair, obviously that is his preference and his right to choose but do parents owe it to their children to show them what an unmodified adult body looks like so it isn't such a shock to them when they thelself start growing pubic hair?

A friend of mine told me that her 10 year old recently told her her pubic hair "needed a trip" the 10 year old will very likely have her own pubic hair soon and the idea of her thinking the correct thing to do is trim or get rid of the hair compleatly really makes me feel something has gone wrong in our society (and I remember the state of my legs when I first experimented with shaving!).

Composhat

Thread tittle is I need someone anyone to talk to and it's at the bottom of the page.

As someone who grew up thinking every woman shaved 'down there' because I saw my Mum do it all the time, I won't be doing the same.

I was hugely embarrassed by my hair, especially when starting relationships. I tried shaving but hated it, and assumed I was odd.

My Mum was very open about nakedness, and so am I. There is no reason to hide my body from my children, it gives them the opportunity to ask questions about growing up which can only be a good thing.

Sorry, am I reading this right?

We have to stop shaving our legs/armpits/pubic hair in case DCs think this is what they have to do, we cannot dye our hair if its the same colour as our DCs in case it makes them feel like their hair colour isn't good enough and parade around naked in front of said children to show them what a "natural" look is?

Fuck that.

How I choose to deal with my hair, my body, whatever is my own choice.
I fail to see how it would benefit anyone if I walked about with hair sprouting from every place possible, stopped colouring my hair, I think i would feel pretty pissed off tbh.

I wear makeup and heels as well. My dd is 5ft 4- am I supposed to only wear flats in case she thinks being 5ft 4 is somehow bad?

I'm no good at this mummy martyr stuff I'm afraid. I didnt leave my actual self in the delivery room 16 years ago and take a vow that I would only do things that would make my DCs feel "better" regardless of how I felt myself.

I decided that actually, I was still a person. And as such I reserve my right to pluck, wax, colour and shave

Btw my teenage DCs have never seen me naked. They managed to cope with the shock of pubic hair just fine without me having to give a fucking demonstration of what it is.
Words are just fine sometimes. Practical demonstrations are not always necessary.

I think its very normal for children to see their parents naked. Personally I think its a good thing and helps everyone to feel more open and relaxed about their bodies. But surely your concern should only be your own children. Your children see your partner shaven and you au naturele and so they see there are various ways of being. That shows them there is choice and variety in the world. Concerning yourself with what others do is going to get you nowhere.

Its a bit of a strange concern anyway though since the vast majority of women shave their armpits. It doesn't then mean that their children freak out when they start to grow hair under their armpits because they're not expecting it.

But I agree with another poster who said they're not going to be influenced by you they will be influenced by their peers and the massive amount of porn that is available of them to access nowadays.

good morning mumsnet.

you never fail me!

My Dh trims. All my previous boyfriends did as well. It's a modern thing but it's becoming more popular. I prefer it. Looks neat and tidy.

Yabvvu it's none of your business, it's a personal matter. I don't want to grow my hair thanks, it's nobodies business but my own.

My mum only shaves her armpits on special occasions.... Seldom her legs....I remember her doing her annual swim once and having to de fuzz her Bl ....which grew down to the leg area....

Always put me off immensely

After seeing her sent me the other way....ughhhh.

Ps not many men shave their bits in my experience ....only met 2 that did....both slightly odd

Ah thank you for a good old chuckle after a sleepless night with the baby kicking my bladder and the dog vomiting three times

I remember a boy at school smuggling in a playboy and us all exclaiming in horror at boobs, pubes etc. Could not have been more than 7 or 8. Kids will talk about this kind of stuff even though they (hopefully) don't have much of a clue about what it means at that age.

I can't wait to go back to get my Hollywood waxing done regularly, have been doing it for 15 years and I don't intend to stop. Dh shaves and has always done so. He finds it much more comfortable. I've had exes who shave too, it's really quite normal for men to remove hair too.

I don't imagine me prancing round the house nude once the baby arrives, and Dh looked sick at the idea. But there's the obvious change at the pool thing which is a good point, so she will see me most probably naked at some point.

When she asks about it, as she will, I will just explain it's a choice and she should be comfortable with doing what she wants when she's old enough. Certainly not going to grow down there to improve her education and I'm not sure any child would be that grateful

I am amazed at the amount of people on this thread that don't let their children see them naked !

Random, do you seriously equate "making an effort" sexually with removing hair? I'd equate it with being an imaginative, thoughtful, enthusiastic lover.. But I'm clearly of an older generation here, who partly learned about sex from the hairy couple in The Joy of Sex!

Enjoy your bunfight. In real life normal people don't feel a need to supervise other people's personal habits in order to feel superior. Some people really need to get a life and i bet I know which posters have already jumped in! (not reading the whole thread, once you've read a certain poster's endless cut and paste googlefests it isn't necessary).

Livingzuid, I assume this is your first? I ask because all privacy went out the window for me for at least the first five years of dc1's life - toilet trips, getting dressed, changing rooms - you find you do everything together! (And you won't mind that much so don't worry!)

YABU. I might have more to say when I stop laughing. :)

brand it is indeed :) I think I'm a bit more relaxed about it than Dh though. He never ever saw his parents naked. Even the hint that it might have happened makes him want to boak Different for me but I was abused and have issues I'm trying very hard to not project onto my daughter :)

I think the pp who said it's natural and helps with good body self confidence is correct. And I'm sure you are right, it will be just too much of a faff in the early years! But I'm still waxing though!

I really only ment thay children would see pubic hair in passing, I just assumed family nudity was normal as it's the way my family is.

I think those who said dc will look to their friends more than their parents for guidance are right, I just wonder ifboth parents always have hair free genital areas is the child ever going to see anything other than hair free pubic areas and they will think they are odd or dirty because they have pubes.

Some children reach puberty whilst still very young, if you remove your pubic hair and your 8/9/10 year old daughter also wanted to remove hers would you facilitate this?

There are things that I quite enjoy doing occasionally that I don't want my dc to do until they are older swearing, drinking tequila, eating an entire bar of chocolate, watching tv all Sunday and eating my dinner on the sofa whilst watching crap t.v. I don't do these things (in front of the dc) as I don't want to give them the message that it's ok for mum to do those things but they must not do them. I don't think I could tell a child that they shouldn't remove their pubic hair if me or dp did it constantly and is it ever safe for a young child to be taking a razor to their genitals?

I had no idea so many people (on mn at least) thought it was normal!

Does it go with false nails and tanning type "groomed"? (Genuine q - thise mums make a lot of effort in the morning, I wonder wjat they think of me! Plain colours, natural makeup etc!

I just can't get in a huff,
When discussing the muff,
Be it hairy, or naked, or dyed.
Nobody sees
Till it reaches your knees-
By then it should be treated with pride.

I can see where you're coming from op, I just can't get excited about it.
If my child hit puberty at 9 which neither did and mentioned it, I'd just say that it's something that adults do when things get 'bushier' to keep tidy IF THEY WANT TO, and its not appropriate or necessary at 9.
As for setting an example, there's always 'do as I say not as I do!'
As it is, my dcs are mid to late teens and haven't managed to disgrace themselves or razor off a labia!
although in ds case topiary would end up more as an all over body wax, he's a hairy great git!

For those who might appreciate it: A Short History of Pubic Grooming

I'm rather taken by the reference to written accounts of Elizabethan plaits and ribbons. And that removal is traditionally an anti-crab measure.

My pubic hair is for me to style as I please, no one cares what it's like and I don't care what anyone else does. I would imagine my dd will be the same.

Au natural, save a little trim on special occasions, here.

In fact, my 2 year old pointed at my bush in the bath the other day and with a mock horrid face only a toddler can produce, said:

"Look Mummy! GRUFFALO!"

i saw my moms it was not deliberate and really only have a vague memory of it im sure my daughter saw mine when we went swimming (family changing rooms) and my 5 year old wanders in the shower with me and to be fair showered with me till he was 3 mine is natural ive more things to be concerned about than my pubic hair (saying that i do my arms daily!)

:D brilliant WAIT! Is this OP the girlfriend who was showing off her labia to dsd in another thread?!
Please please please be true!!