To think that parents should occasionally let their pubic hair grow as nature intended to educate their children as to what adult bodies look like?

[ikeaismylocal]

I have been having this discussion with dp, our dc are still very young so puberty is a long way off but I was wondering how children know that pubic hair is normal if they only every see their parents with minimal/absent pubic hair?

Dp has light hair and shaves his pubic hair most of the time so he doesn't really have any visable pubic hair, obviously that is his preference and his right to choose but do parents owe it to their children to show them what an unmodified adult body looks like so it isn't such a shock to them when they thelself start growing pubic hair?

A friend of mine told me that her 10 year old recently told her her pubic hair "needed a trip" the 10 year old will very likely have her own pubic hair soon and the idea of her thinking the correct thing to do is trim or get rid of the hair compleatly really makes me feel something has gone wrong in our society (and I remember the state of my legs when I first experimented with shaving!).

Back in 1848, John Ruskin was so disgusted at the discovery on his wedding night that women had pubic hair that he failed to consummate the marriage.

Is the range of what is "acceptable" narrowing back to those days, once again based on what was publicly displayed (Statues then, films now?)

I rarely shave mine only if I'm going swimming

Dd (age 12) however is already talking about how she will remove hers so that it doesn't show through her ballet leotards

ThatBloodyWoman did you see this thread earlier today?

Ha!

No I didn't meditrina!

Seems I could accessorize...

I had a bikini wax for our half term holidays. She took way too much off and her idea of a trim was my idea of a skin head cut tbh. Very much not to my liking at all. Strangely, though I'm used to wandering about starkers on the way to the bathroom etc etc, I have covered up since being virtually balded. I feel v embarrassed in front of the kids whereas I didn't with my nice cosy 70s muff. It's staying hidden til it's grown back.

DD has never seen my pubic hair. Or anyone else's.

Why is what other people do with their pubic hair so important?
I can never get my head round this!

Much as I am very prepared to sacrifice a lot of personal standards for my children's benefit this is not one I am willing to negotiate. I have monthly brazilians whether it's summer or winter, I'm single or attached, pregnant or not and have done for 20 years and am not about to stop so my kids can see what we looked like in the 70s. I'm pretty sure XH's whore's muff hasn't seen a trim or wax in its life given that the fat trollop barely manages to drag a brush through her rat tails most days yet parades around naked in front of MY child so DD at least gets a taster of a... erm... "natural" body there however I shall never have a "natural" body in my life.

Sorry but no way are the percentages that low! All but my first BF trimmed and he soon started when we started sleeping together. TBH I'd be a bit freaked out if I got it on with a new man and he had half the train forest down there! I think I'd have to make my excuses and leave! Yuck! I make an effort, I expect my men to too. I do not want to shag or blow a bog brush thanks and I wouldn't expect a man to on me!

OP I think YANBU, though I see we're in the minority here! Of course I won't be walking around naked with teenage DCs (lethal embarrassment all round) but certainly in my family it was not unusual to bathe together until at least a few years old and to occasionally walk in and chat while my mum was in the shower, though my parents wouldn't have intruded on us. We also used to go swimming with public changing rooms - and at a certaiqsn age you do become curious, I know I looked at my older sisters and mum somewhere along the way.

It's for this reason that I won't get re-lasered with the (ahem) full Hollywood, or keep my arms and legs perfectly hairless, I want my DCs to know that there's nothing disgusting or odd about having hair there, if they want to trim or remove or nothing at all, that's their choice. DH does nothing to his, so less of an issue, but if he did (honestly, I hope not, I always think that hairless mens' bits look a bit glum), then I'd hope he might do the same.

To be honest, I think our children will be more influenced by their peer group than us - girls will start wanting to shave their legs when others in their group do, and if they get pubes visible in bathers they are going to want to groom/remove, whatever style mummy and daddy choose to have. Not too sure how much boys discuss shaving their pubes, I suspect their curiorisity comes later when watching porn.

I doubt many teenagers are going to aspire to have the same style pubes and their parents, but can see the point they might think they are very, very hairy when they get pubes, only later to realise that is the normal amount to have.

I more worry about older teenagers thinking porn is like all sex should be (and how quickly a plumber will come to your house!).

OP has a point. In the same vein, all fathers should grow beards that their progeny be educated as to what adult male faces look like.

Neither dh or I do anything to our public hair (and dh has a beard too) and I hoped that neither of our children thought that they had to get out the razor/veet post puberty. As it happens ds was very pleased to get more hairy and is looking forward to his wispy tache becoming something more substantial. dd on the other hand wanted to shave her legs/armpits as soon as she started to grow hair and now regularly defuzzes. She also got quite unhappy about her public hair and once I found she'd snipped it all off with nail scissors, which was a bit worrying.

The contrast between them makes me quite sad. I don't believe that 11% stat applies to teenagers.

Really random? Are you quite young? I don't think I've ever encountered a man who does topiary. Although I've now been married a while (hence the young comment - I was wondering if it changed since.)

I though women doing it was v.rare indeed pre mn. I've been enlightened but still wouldn't necessarily think it's over 11% although no idea where those figures came from. It may well get higher as time goes on and norms change.

I find it interesting that some posters associate it with bring tidy or neat or we'll groomed as if it were a character flaw rather than personal preference!!
Mn is enlightening!

AIBU to think that P&C spaces should only be used by people with children

It took me an hour to clean the fridge yesterday (deep clean), where do people find the time to worry about shaving their bits?

Well all I have to say is my sister who is twelve is aware I shave mine all off so decided to give it a try she didn't like it so has never done it again. If children are brought up right they will learn there are more than one way of doing things and they need to do what is right for them.

Look Ikea, it is pubic hair, not public. Pubic.

The lack o "l" is there for a reason.

There's 3 waxing places in my medium sized town, plus a few waxers who'll come to your house, and 3 laser hair removal places. All of these primarily specialize in brazilians and other types of pubic hair removal, for men and women. I just browsed around business listings for similar sized towns to check my town isn't an anomaly, and every town I looked at had the same or more...13% of the population isn't enough to support that many businesses, not unless you pretend no one ever shaves or does their own waxing. And even then it would be a stretch.

I know all my close friends, men and women, remove most if not all of it, and I'd say that's the norm for our age-group and those younger than us.

You must talk openly about it kmc. Do you all go 'eugh' if someone doesn't do theirs? Is there a lot of peer pressure in your generation to look groomed? and are you all orange?

I hope you're happier than your nickname suggests suicidal

People who topiarise probably have other similarities in attitudes to grooming and so tend to find each other attractive. I think there are probably far fewer of them than you'd think given e chatter about it.

The one place where it is nigh on universal is in pornographic images, and as this is he commonest place for the public pubis, it probably skews how 'normal' people think it is. (Though seriously hairy does have periodic revivals in make homosexual porn).

Actually, by "normal" I probably meant 'frequent/common/usual'

Baggytshirt thanks but sadly I don't but I have a thread going on about that in Aibu right now and I'm getting lots of rl support.

Now as a ten year old my mum had said 'compo come and have a look at your dad's cock and balls, they are looking magnificently hirsute and a final example of an untended pubic region' I would have been out the door faster than a rocket, pausing only to call childline.

That's good to know Su, I'll look you up x