...to think 'partner' means a cohabiting partner, not just boyfriend.

[fideline]

This has twice caused major confusion recently.

I realise most of the time it doesn't really matter much, but referring to someone you are 'just' dating as your partner is confusing wrong.

Isn't it?

I can assure you that I haven't felt this calm in weeks!! (though mine is white)

If you see disagreeing with you as belligerent then so be it. What you probably didn't realise when you typed what you thought was a light hearted OP that we would agree with, and all hoik our bosoms at the silly girls who think their BF is their partner, is that it felt (rightly or wrongly) like a judgement on the way that lots of people are living their lives.

Then you are making completely the wrong assumption about the way I have lived most of mine.

There do seem to be more scenarios than I had thought of, though.

I wouldn't automatically assume that "partner" means cohabiting. I've an Auntie who has had a "partner" for years and years, but they've never lived together. I think a 58 year old woman referring to her "boyfriend" might be deemed a bit silly so "partner" may suit better. In saying that, I was SO glad that I could call my husband "my husband" after 10 years of calling him my "other half" because partner sounded too old and boyfriend sounded ridiculous.

you were told straight away that it was wrong, but here you are still banging away with "partner means more serious than boyfriend" etc etc.

Lets be clear: you were wrong, you are wrong. There is no consensus here because people use the terms as they like and how suits them, interchangeably.

Oh that made me snort! I I have made assumptions about how you live your life?! Really? Crikey!

FWIW I have no interest in how you live / have lived or what you do or don't call your OP / BF / DP / DH / person you date. You were the one who expressed an opinion of what I call mine though! Yet I'm the one who is making assumptions about you!! Gah!

So there is no right way? At all?

There are lots of right ways. That's the whole point! There is no longer a "one size fits all" answer because women are now living in many many different scenarios with and without partners / OHs / BFs / GFs / alone / with their kids / single / married / whatever.

And you coming here to tell us we are wrong, rankles somewhat.

I'm (and my friends) are in our 40's-50's.

We have our children, or not, but more importantly, our pension and own homes, which we don't need to have our Partners living in.

I think that this is becoming more common, in the generation hitting their 40's+.

Whereas you might want to live together when you are younger, once you reach a level of Independance, or have teenagers still at home, you shy away from living together.

In my last relationship, we took every Holliday together and was together most nights. Even at our busiest, we made time for each other.

Our six year relationship, included the death and disability of relatives, hospital stays, redundancy etc.

We were committed and in a Partnership, more so than some of the married couples I know.

We could rely on each other.

I don't want to live with someone ever again, tbh, but I would enter into another Partnership, or date.

Well that is no 'right' way.

Everyone uses any term they like, nobody can infer anything from the terms they use.

No one right way of using or understanding the term.

Sorry that was unclear- last post was addressed to Bit

no, there isn't. Boyfriend, partner, lover, other half, significant other, life partner, escort, suitor, paramour....they can be used as desired by the people involved.
We don't all have to narrowly define our relationships in a way that gives you the most information.

There are also different BF/GF situations, meeting up, dating, exclusive dating, serious dating, in a relationship, then becoming a partner (so moving away from being a BF/GF).

I don't want a 'boyfriend' surely I know how serious my relationship is?? Its not up to all and sundry to assume that because i might choose to call my 'other half' a 'partner' (albeit a non cohabiting one) that I am validating a lesser relationship? I am going to go with minion in the future. Purely for the quizzical looks and raised eyebrows. Right where is my wine..?

"Everyone uses any term they like, nobody can infer anything from the terms they use."

Well, No, because judging by some of the threads that I have read on here and what I have seen in RL, being a Husband doesn't mean that you are supportive, helpful, loving, or faithful etc to your Wife.

Well I'll take your 21:46 post fide as an admission that your opening post, where you clearly said one way of doing it was confusing and wrong, was, in fact, a load of balony! Now we have a recognition that there are lots of ways of doing things, and if they don't comply with your world view, it's not necessarily wromg. Phew

Have a

Jupiter, sorry, I drank yours!

Since I won't be seeing my minion (ha!) till Monday as I am selfishly going away with girlfriends for the weekend, I had best go and give him a call

Yep birds I did think that too.. over Christmas some poor girl posted a dilemma over her 'partner" being rude by not joining her family for xmas buffet.. she lived at home. Rather than answering her dilemma another poster picked her up for referring to him as her partner when they didn't live together Ffs.!

Jupiter sometimes the judgey knickers are pulled so high they can obscure the view

That explains my empty glass bitoutofpractice. Thought my heating was turned up too high!

People use partner to let the person they're talking to know they mean something more serious than boyfriend / girlfriend.

Of course there are no rules about when someone wants to express that message or what can be defined as more serious.

I use DP (we don't live together btw) because people tend not to use BF/GF at my age and I like it in the same way I like Ms: I don't have to disclose whether my DP is male or female, whether we are married or not, in order to refer to them...

My job involves going to events, sometimes with a guest. Although I thought of DH as my boyfriend, I introduced him as my partner. I was already pretty young to be doing my job and I didn't want to further highlight my age. I think of a boyfriend as something a young person has.

"Well, No, because judging by some of the threads that I have read on here and what I have seen in RL, being a Husband doesn't mean that you are supportive, helpful, loving, or faithful etc to your Wife."

Crikey Birds I don't want to judge the quality of other people's relationships a lot of the time i don't care None of my bloody business.

I just want to know if cards to separate addresses will cause offence, if all minor invitations should include both etc.

Clearly my methodology hasn't been fit for purpose though.

"People use partner to let the person they're talking to know they mean something more serious than boyfriend / girlfriend."

Christ Whizz I hope you're wearing protective clothing.

Though to be fair the protester was given a sharp dressing down. . Something like 'sorry x I thought y asked 'is my partner rude?' not how should I refer to my significant other?' Tee hee!

Fide don't be so disingenuous. You did so did not start this thread because you want to know if was OK to send separate cards.

You wanted to make a point that you think people who call their OH their "partner" when they don't live together is "wong"

Either stick to your guns, or say "look, I was clearly wrong, I am an arse" because this half-arsed back pedalling is getting right on my last one.

And for someone who doesn't care about other people's relationships, starting an AIBU about other people's relationships seems an odd way to show it!

Jupietr maybe it was a hot flush? I'll open some more

You can tell I'm tipsey - I'm using emoticons without a care!