...to think 'partner' means a cohabiting partner, not just boyfriend.

[fideline]

This has twice caused major confusion recently.

I realise most of the time it doesn't really matter much, but referring to someone you are 'just' dating as your partner is confusing wrong.

Isn't it?

[WhizzFucker]

What?

[ComposHat]

I dislike the term partner, it feels a bit business like . I will make an exception for people in a civil partnerships and cowboys.

We went from shagpiece to live in lover to married without using rhe dreaded p word.

[fideline]

"You did so did not start this thread because you want to know if was OK to send separate cards."

It was exactly that type of situation that made me wonder about the subject.

But TBH some of these uber-aggressive responses are making me wonder if it is people who are unhappy with their relationship status that are getting worked up.

Plenty of people have calmly expressed different responses without getting militant, so presumably people hold a range of opinions without, for the most part, getting frothy-mouthed

[fideline]

"shagpiece"

"Live in lover" is great phrase.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Oh lord! Once again for someone who says she doesn't care about other people's relationships, you have a lot of opiniosn about them. So as well as being "wrong" to call my DP my DP, I am now unhappy in my relationship! bcause i disagree with you

If you're looking for hugs and compliance Fide you posted in the wrong section.

Like I say, if you want to see someone calling you on your hypocrisy as "militant", "uber aggressive" and "frothy mouthed" then knock yourself out. I call it stabdard AIBU knock about fun!

YABU and you know it but you are not woman enough to admit it!

[EEatingSoupForLunch]

I work job share, so do literally half hours. Pretty much everyone in a work context, me included, refers to my 'job share partner ' as mu "other half". I am most amused when DH (my RL OH) refers to her like this. She is a gay woman.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Shit I've just realised I have a BF / DP, a husband, a partner (business) and a stack of girlfriends.

Don't worry though OP I won't be offrended if you send us all one joint card!

[fideline]

The thing is, the aggression is now more interesting than the original question.

[BitOutOfPractice]

There is no agression OP. Like I say, robust disagreement.

[fideline]

Nope. The question, by your own admission, made you post in a frothy mouthed manner.

I feel like i've accidentally poked half a dozen sore spots.

Actually, you have made far more (incorrect) assumptions than I have, but i will happily hoick my bosom, polish my wedding ring and clutch my pearls if it helps you cling to your stereotypes.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Once again OP I am aghast! I am not the person who started this thread with one massive assumption! You did!

I have not made a single assumption about your situation. I have absolutely no idea what it is! And even less interest! You have made plenty about mine. I am unhappy in my relationship, I am touchy for a reason in my private life etc etc.

And the frothy mouth comment was, as you can tell by the wine comment and wine emoticon, a joke. Sorry if that didn't come across sufficiently jokingly. I have continued the joke with various otherposters across the thread who did get it.

Like I say, YABU. You are not prepared to admit that, (like so many AIBU OPs) despite an overwhelming consensus that you are. I'd cut your losses if I were you!

[fideline]

Oh I see when you are being light-hearted, you're light-hearted. When i'm light-hearted, I'm a tyrannical judgey-pants, obsessed with the inner workings of everyone's relationships. Hmm.

Yet I have to admit IABU because you say so?

I see the source of the confusion now. I was asking everyone a question. Not just you.

And seeing a connection between your hysteria and the fact that you have both DH and DP but are living with neither, doesn't seem too far fetched to me. You must have some reason for losing it over something so minor.

[fideline]

Bored now, going to bed.

Do feel free to continue to rant.

[BitOutOfPractice]

Once again, comment away about my life. Assume away! I am very sorry my life has failed to comply with your world view OP. I'll try to be more conventional for you in future. If only it was as exciting as you make out but I am still here doing boring admin tasks and trying to get to the bottom of my inbox. Or the top. Not sure which it is - but the end of it either way.

Night

[OutOfCheeseError]

When I'm in a social situation with people I don't know terribly well, saying "the person to whom I am not married, but who I have been in a committed, serious relationship for the last 8 years, however I do not live with them, for complicated and boring practical and logistical reasons" is a bit of a mouthful. So 'partner' seems to be the nearest appropriate shorthand. People that know me well enough to, say, send me cards, understand our situation and the seriousness of our relationship, and seem to cope quite well with writing "Ms Error and Mr Error'sPartner" on the envelope.

[OneDayWhenIGrowUp]

I think anyone would BVU to disagree with/tell anyone else they were 'wrong' in how they choose to describe anyone they have any kind of relationship with.

[KissesBreakingWave]

I just asked "are you my shagpiece, dear?" and got the response "yes, why do you ask? Mumsnet?"

Off out to look for the Northern Lights in a mo. Have fun, y'all.

[JupiterGentlefly]

Good morning all! Esp fideline and bitoutofpractice! Phew for what its worth I very much enjoyed this debate. Fideline I think ywbvu. But no harm done I hope. I saw the whole 'debate' as lighthearted

[waltermittymissus]

Ffs another example of the point being lost in a sea of ott rants!

[BitOutOfPractice]

Well then do feel free to get us back on track

[waltermittymissus]

Ok:

Don't post when pissed and don't call your boyfriend of about five seconds your partner!

[BitOutOfPractice]

I wasn't pissed! And I have never done that. Hth.

[LyndaCartersBigPants]

Like others, my DP and I are unable to live together without major upheaval to our DCs, so rather than be selfish parents putting our needs first, we are willing to wait until the children are older before moving in together.

That doesn't mean we aren't committed and after just a year and a half we would be criticised on here for such a big move involving our DCs, although plenty of others move in/marry in shorter timescales - does that make their relationship more acceptable on here?

With the abbreviations on here DF for fiancé can be confused with father; DB for boyfriend can be confused with brother and BF for boyfriend can be confused with best friend (or breast feeding!) so DP is the clearest and most obvious default for anyone in a reasonably serious relationship who is over the age of 13.

[LyndaCartersBigPants]

Oh and fwiw, I did send Xmas cards from us all to those people who know us all. For distant relatives and the ex's family I just sent them from me and the DCs. DP doesn't do cards, so for his family I sent them from me and the DCs as I didn't want to be presumptuous with his family, but he said it would have been nice to have included us all, so next year I will. We will still not be living together or married.

[Quoteunquote]

Well I'm married to my partner, I run a business with my husband,

Confuses people no end, when we first meet in the work place as it's usually in meetings, so they meet us in work mode, then as time goes on the penny drops.