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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have sex once a week.

136 replies

Nottonightdarlin · 26/02/2014 21:28

Nc as will be showing dp this thread.

We have a great relationship - he is currently massaging my feet. Grin

I'm a SAHM with our 9 month dd, and I really love it. It's something we both agreed on.

I'm just so god dam tired by night time. I got to bed to sleep . I do all the house work and dp goes to work and is out of the house 12 hours a day.

Honestly the only day im up for it is Saturday , when I've been to work for a few hours and dp has had dd during the day when he is off.

When we do have sex, it's very passionate - that's not the problem, it's just most of the time I'm too tired to give a shit.

Obviously dp would like it at least twice Grin I think my rejections are offending him. I don't want him to feel like shit. He never pressurises me.

Is once a week normal ?

OP posts:
MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 21:29

Totally normal.

DonnaDishwater · 26/02/2014 21:29

There is no "normal". Maybe try and make an effort to do it more than once a week occasionally?

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 21:30

Not totally normal that he does NO housework however.

OhThePlacesYoullGo · 26/02/2014 21:30

Well I think normal is whatever works for the two of you. Think neither DP nor I would be thrilled with less than every other day.

lj123 · 26/02/2014 21:30

Once a week! I'd call him lucky lol I'm currently 14weeks pregnant with what will be our first baby and I've had sex once since we found out! Shock
I honestly think it's a miracle I'm pregnant lol
We both have busy lifestyles and I work epic hours so I get home and crash!
I'd think him lucky Wink

meringuesnowflakes33 · 26/02/2014 21:31

Once a week is bloody good going with a baby if you ask me Grin

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 21:32

There is no 'normal'.

Couples do it when they both are in the mood. For mutual satisfaction. That's it. That's normal.

Your dp wouldn't want you to force yourself to do it when you weren't in the mood, or were too tired and didn't want to would he?

Original poster
Nottonightdarlin · 26/02/2014 21:33

Dp has just stated "but he pays all the bills Grin

OP posts:
gamerchick · 26/02/2014 21:34

bloody good going.. seriously!

OPs bloke.. you're lucky to get what you're getting.. you have to give a year to let the dust settle with a new baby.

I'm not going to even comment on the housework.. I hope he bloody cleans up after himself at least?!

MyNameIsKenAdams · 26/02/2014 21:34

What a sexy attitude.

HoneyDragon · 26/02/2014 21:35

We are by default Saturday night shaggers. It's the only time we can be arsed to stay awake longer than the dc.

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 21:35

DonnaDishwater

Why would a person (male or female) put 'the effort in' to have sex when they don't want to?

I really don't like the sound of your post in my head when I read it...

Anonymai · 26/02/2014 21:35

He sounds like a charmer.

gamerchick · 26/02/2014 21:35

heh, paying all he bills doesn't wash.

If paying all the bills.. doing nothing in his own house where you're on duty 24/7 and he expects sex when he wants because of it.. makes you what??

Original poster
Nottonightdarlin · 26/02/2014 21:36

Well I'm reading these out and I think he is blushing!

He does clear up after himself most of the time

OP posts:
LineRunner · 26/02/2014 21:36

But they're his bills are they not?

pimplypoppet · 26/02/2014 21:37

Once a week?!!! My 2 are age 6 and 3 and I shouldn't think we do it once a month. DH totally ok with that. On discussion most my friends are about the same. OPs bloke...you have NO idea how lucky you are!!!

CuntyBunty · 26/02/2014 21:37

Yes good going at this time. If he is as understanding as you say and doesn't pressure you, he won't turn you off him and you won't be able to get enough if him when DCs are a bit older and you've got more energy.
We were a bit like you only we had sex less frequently. The years rolled by, he never pestered me and now we have more energy, we usually have sex at least once a day, more if he is working from home and I'm not at work. And it's the best sex ever.

CuntyBunty · 26/02/2014 21:38

Sorry, YANBU.

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 21:38

Your DP pays all the bills with money that he is enabled to earn because you stay home and look after the baby.

See how much work he could do and bills he could pay if he was responsible for looking after the baby 50% of the time.

TwittyMcTwitterson · 26/02/2014 21:38

I don't think it's unreasonable or relevant that you do all the housework.

If you feel that's enough sex then great. If not then do it more. No one can say what's normal Wink as everyone previously has said... Ha!

OrangePixie · 26/02/2014 21:39

From discussions I've had with friends, I'd say once a week is above average.

But I agree there is no normal, depends what suits you both. I don't think specifying a number is helpful - does he want you to make yourself go through with it because it's Sunday and you're only on one so far that week?!

TheGreatHunt · 26/02/2014 21:41

He pays all the bills Hmm

You look after his child for free if he's going to take that line.

Original poster
Nottonightdarlin · 26/02/2014 21:41

Thank you all.

Dp " is there a dads net"?

Grin
OP posts:
BusinessUnusual · 26/02/2014 21:43

Yes, there is a Dadsnet section.

Hope things are OK, OP.