Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To have sex once a week.

136 replies

Nottonightdarlin · 26/02/2014 21:28

Nc as will be showing dp this thread.

We have a great relationship - he is currently massaging my feet.

I'm a SAHM with our 9 month dd, and I really love it. It's something we both agreed on.

I'm just so god dam tired by night time. I got to bed to sleep . I do all the house work and dp goes to work and is out of the house 12 hours a day.

Honestly the only day im up for it is Saturday , when I've been to work for a few hours and dp has had dd during the day when he is off.

When we do have sex, it's very passionate - that's not the problem, it's just most of the time I'm too tired to give a shit.

Obviously dp would like it at least twice I think my rejections are offending him. I don't want him to feel like shit. He never pressurises me.

Is once a week normal ?

OP posts:

peggyundercrackers · 26/02/2014 22:56

Answers here aren't a big surprise really, it's what I would expect. Go and post the same questions on a male based forum and see what kind answers you get... Be prepared to be told Yabu, that you should pay half the bills, do all the housework and have sex twice a day :)

Potus · 26/02/2014 22:59

6 times a day?! Do you not chafe?!

fifi669 · 26/02/2014 22:59

highlander that sounds ideal. I guess the 4 days on he's super tired and so isn't much use for anything! Prob nice to condense work like that.

In a normal 9-5 situation when your DP gets two days off I think it's fair the SAHP does the housework. You say you're rarely at home but if you cut out a visit to one of your friends then there's the time to do the housework. An hour or two a day is all it takes.

Weathergames · 26/02/2014 23:00

There is evening, there is during the night and there is morning ....

gamerchick · 26/02/2014 23:01

weathergames.. so your bloke is a thrust thrust spurt or you fuck in front of your kids?

Or you don't have the kids around while he's home.

I can't think of any other way you could fuck that amount of times and I did a LDR with 3 kids.

Weathergames · 26/02/2014 23:02

No ... We use a lot of lube....

Weathergames · 26/02/2014 23:02

Some of our kids are teenagers ...

gamerchick · 26/02/2014 23:03

really fifi.. and when does the OP get time off?

gamerchick · 26/02/2014 23:03

so when your kids were little.. would you have managed the time you get now?

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 23:06

There's time to do my half of the housework as it is, I don't need to cut out any visits/trips. In fact being out a lot means that my house stays tidy!

BritishGal · 26/02/2014 23:06

Just as a different view - DH and I used to have sex virtually every day for ten years. No joke. We'd drop the children at school, rush back and leap into bed. Usually twice a day and with God knows what in between. After I had DD1 (c-section) we had anal sex the second night I was home. After DD2 - phone sex in the hospital (private room).
Did I want it all the time? No.
Did I have a massive hang-up about him masturbating? Yes.
End of story? We're now divorced. Lots of sex doesn't always = happy. Worth mentioning to those men who seek it daily!

Weathergames · 26/02/2014 23:07

No - but I was with a different person who had a really low sex drive - OH and I do both have high sex drives.

I wouldn't have wanted it this much when the kids were little. I had no sex drive at all every time I was pg.

But I probably have felt sexier about myself since my youngest went to school and I felt less "mummified".

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 23:08

BritishGal

I'm sorry you felt you had to do that.

TheArticFunky · 26/02/2014 23:09

Once a week in my opinion is a lot. I don't think you have to make an effort to have it more often than that if you don't want to. Why should you ?

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 26/02/2014 23:10

fifi Everyone has their own priorities. My dh came home to a kitchen tonight that looked like a bomb had gone off in it. And to two kids who,had had an incredibly busy, enjoyable, productive day.

Much as I am sometimes (very very) tempted to stick the kids in front of the telly and mumsnet clean up that is not why I am off work at the moment. I am off work to spend time with the kids.

fifi669 · 26/02/2014 23:11

gamer once the SAHP has done the housework they've got the day to do whatever they want with the kids. If they want proper time off away from the kids then they can do so when DP is home. Not rocket science!

I know kids can be draining, sometimes I feel like going to work for a rest! But while they're drawing you can do the dishes, DS likes to help with laundry etc. the

fifi669 · 26/02/2014 23:12

Only thing he still hates is the hoover. As he gets older he'll need me even less so it'll be even easier!

Weathergames · 26/02/2014 23:14

Why are people comparing amount of sex with amount of housework?

gamerchick · 26/02/2014 23:15

fifi.. I'm going to say this only once because basically I don't need to repeat myself.

Read my first post on this thread.

I REALLY don't need to debate the thing with you,... my first post on this thread speaks for itself.

Tisn't rocket science

HighlanderMam · 26/02/2014 23:16

FlippingWhatsername · 26/02/2014 23:16

Men seem to have or miss sex about three times a week at a rough guess, regardless of whether their wife is interested.

The ones you have to worry about are the ones who restrain it for a long time.

fifi669 · 26/02/2014 23:18

I'm not by any stretch dating that every night your partner should be coming home to a spotless house. There will be days the kids have driven you mad and you want to rock in the corner. There will be other days you're so caught up playing with them you haven't noticed the time.

I just think it doesn't take much to load the washing mavhine, just a few minutes. Same with the dishes. Same with the vast majority of housework infact! Saying your at home to spend time with the kids so can't do housework is a cop out!

TheArticFunky · 26/02/2014 23:18

I don't think that SAHM means that you have to do the majority of the housework . If you choose to include your children in your housework chores that's fine but it's not for everyone.

I also don't think that a SAHM should feel indebted to her dh because he pays the bills. A dh that expects sex in compensation for being the wage earner is essentially looking for a prostitute. Nice. Welcome to the 21st century.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 26/02/2014 23:21

He wouldn't be getting any sex at all if he sweet talked me with 'but I pay all the bills.'

FlippingWhatsername · 26/02/2014 23:21

How doesn't SAHM mean you have to do the majority of the housework? Am I the only one that has to tidy up repeatedly in the day due to kids playing?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread