Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my bloody mother is a pain in the arse?

92 replies

MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:29

No one can ever say or do anything without her commenting on it. Ever. No one can do anything differently to how she does it without them being wrong. Her way is The Way.

She does a perfect cats bum mouth.

She gives her opinion even when it isn't requested.

She does a hundred thousand things that bug the living daylights out of me.

Fwiw I usually just dilute her with work etc but theres 15 of us all on holiday atm and frankly, how I have not exploded I do not know.

I am pg so not sure if its the hormones too but I suspect not.

Rage.

OP posts:
pamelat · 20/02/2014 22:31

Not unreasonable but would let it go ;)

I went away on a big family holiday last year and said never again!!

wellcoveredsparerib · 20/02/2014 22:33

why did you go on holiday with her knowing that you find d her so irritating? Hmm Hmm

AnyoneforTurps · 20/02/2014 22:33

YANBU but no good ever comes of saying so. Just seethe quietly and plan to put her in a nursing home in Scotland (if you live in Cornwall) or Cornwall (if you live in Scotland).

Original poster
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:34

Because usually (regular annual trip) sje is diluted amongst the other holiday makers.

This year has topped it.

I dont know how keen I will be to repeat it next year.

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 20/02/2014 22:35

You have my sympathy and admiration. Your mum sounds very similar to mine and it takes every ounce of patience I have for me to even spend time in the same room as her. Deep breaths. Smile

Balistapus · 20/02/2014 22:37

I've got a mum whose exactly the same. I can cope with seeing her approximately once a month, but no more than that. I think you're very brave to be on holiday together!

Original poster
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:37

I said excuse me when trying to get behind her dinner chair tonight and she muttered "alright, give me a chance" under her breath. I said "ive only asked once" (and wanted to knock her bloody dinner plate away).

Doesnt help that I am so so early in my pregnancy that no one knows yet except me and dh.

OP posts:
justmuddlingalong · 20/02/2014 22:39

Try being quietly smug that you know something she doesn't!

WitchWay · 20/02/2014 22:39

I also seem to have the same mother! I almost strangled her during a fortnight's holiday in 2012. First & last. Ever. She loved it & has been dropping hints about coming with us again over my dead body ever since.

Original poster
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:42

I suppose it is nice to have the secret.

Its her own doing that she doesnt know as last time I told her at seven weeks, then had a MMC at eleven weeks and got the response "ah well, you are young, you can try again" , then found out she had told about twenty others I was og so they all had to be informed about mmc.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:42

Witch we need a support group.

OP posts:
iggymama · 20/02/2014 22:45

You appear to have stolen my mother. You can keep her!

Congratulations on the pg, grit your teeth and count the days until you can come home.

Original poster
MyNameIsKenAdams · 20/02/2014 22:46

I said to DH, I cannot wait for Saturday night, in my own bed, woth a Chinese takeaway and a weeks worth of corrie on catchup.

OP posts:
Balistapus · 20/02/2014 22:50

Gosh, MyName, that's uncanny. My sister had a desperately longed for pregnancy end in a mmc and my mum told her it was ' probably for the best'.

Nothing good comes of exposure to this type of behaviour. If you ever try to challenge them about it or get frustrated towards them they accuse you of being crazy/ attacking them.
You're going to have to do your best Mother Teresa impression to get through the trip.

hopefulgum · 20/02/2014 22:57

You have my sympathy. I too have your mother. She has the perfect cat's bum mouth too!

How you could endure a family holiday is beyond me! I see mine about once every three months, for a couple of hours and I have to grit my teeth.

Are you able to go for long walks away from her (yes, you will have to return Grin )?

And congratulations on your pregnancy. I didn't tell my mum about my last baby until 12 weeks. She was well put out that I hadn't told her sooner. But that would be because she had very little positive to say about it.

Hang in there. Imagine what bliss Saturday night will be...all the more the marathon you have endured.

WitchWay · 20/02/2014 23:00

I told my mum I was pg at 8 weeks. She replied "I'd better get out the knitting needles then" & I specifically asked her not to make or send me anything at all until much further on in the pregnancy - I was a bit twitched as it'd taken ages to conceive. A hand-knitted pair of bootees arrived the next day. Impossible to tell her anything. Sigh.

Megrim · 20/02/2014 23:01

Hate to tell you this but they get worse with age. Louder. More judgemental. Less concerned with social niceties.

I could lend you my mother, who is now 82, but I think she would make your head explode. She does come with her own copy of The Daily Mail though.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 20/02/2014 23:05

Sounds like my mum. She tries to parent my daughter, if I say "BabyElf don't do that"etc she'll repeat it then act like my toddler is listening to her not me.

She's currently not speaking to me because I didn't reply to a group text that came through when I was asleep and for asking her to stop being my parrot!

WitchWay · 20/02/2014 23:06

They do get worse with age - agree Megrim about the social niceties. Loud stage whispering about other diners while in restaurants is my mum's speciality Blush

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 20/02/2014 23:06

Oh yeah and when I was in the EPU for a mmc I was in agony and she said "Wait until you have a baby, the you'll know real pain."

Balistapus · 20/02/2014 23:19

DontWanna, I'm not speaking to mine at the moment either.
She argued with me in my kitchen, in front of my baby. I'd asked her not to talk over me - something she does alllllll the time.

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 20/02/2014 23:22

I'm not chasing her. If I stand up for myself and ask her to back off I get it from all angles "don't upset mum" but no one gives a shit if she upsets me.

Frustrating.

jellybaby25 · 20/02/2014 23:26

Can you go home early?

Megrim · 20/02/2014 23:26

Oh yes Witch, we were treated to the classic "that woman is mutton dressed as lamb" comment in a posh restaurant recently, which wouldn't have been so bad except (a) it was delivered at full volume and (b) there was only one other couple in the dining room at the time. Even my 8 year old DS was mortified.

I know I'm in for a right wing monologue whenever the sentence starts with "To my mind ..."

HemlockYewglimmer · 20/02/2014 23:38

We all obviously have the same DM! Mine does the parenting of my DCs even when I'm in the room or does the same as ObamasElf's DM. Each time I've told her that I'm pregnant then I've had an "oh", then towards the end of the conversation "I suppose I should say congratulations then". Everything I say, even in passing needs to be commented on, usually with a negative slant. I've only just started to realise that this focus on the negative in everything isn't normal (my DF has the same negativity). She's visiting at the moment and I have managed to only ask her to stop talking once this evening by tuning her out via mumsnetting. And breathe ...