to think my bloody mother is a pain in the arse?

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

No one can ever say or do anything without her commenting on it. Ever. No one can do anything differently to how she does it without them being wrong. Her way is The Way.

She does a perfect cats bum mouth.

She gives her opinion even when it isn't requested.

She does a hundred thousand things that bug the living daylights out of me.

Fwiw I usually just dilute her with work etc but theres 15 of us all on holiday atm and frankly, how I have not exploded I do not know.

I am pg so not sure if its the hormones too but I suspect not.

Rage.

Mine actually thinks her really boring life, revolving around church activities is interesting, and expects us to remember her cutting nickname for each character. But if we dare to tell her we had a weekend away somewhere(quite rare), we are basically told we should only have 1 hol a year in UK and how lucky we are to be able to go away SO MUCH! So we tell her nothing!

I mentioned to mine yesterday that I was about to go out to choir - started this last summer & have been going weekly. "Oh, I didn't realise you were still going - good for you! patronising" - that's because I don't give her a weekly update on my life, like she does with hers - same routine, same people seen, same folk being bitched about - yawn.

I'm so pleased to hear that i'm not the only one with a talkative, judgemental Daily Mail reading mum. You all have my sympathies.

There's no way on earth i would go on holiday with my parents again. I did that once and barely got through the week without killing her. My DH only managed 5 days and was 'called away on work'.

Despite inviting me, my DSis and our husbands/families, they didn't spend any quality time with their grandchildren

Her other irritations are...

Talking with her mouth full - even my DC don't do this.
Offering to help out with DC after the event/showing no interest in their achievements/not engaging with them at all.
Spending an entire visit telling me news about people i don't even know.

Yes! "I can't do right for doing wrong!" This was after having a go at me for the way I washed the bottles then when she took over there was still milk in them.

I used to go quiet and apologise but now I ask her if she's seen my violin.

My mother still makes me eat sprouts. I loathe sprouts. With a passion. I can only stomach them by smothering the little gits in horseradish. FFS, I am 47 years old, and I still have to eat sprouts because it saves a massive argument.

Does anyone else's remember everything she's ever given you or that you have given her? Mine does this a lot: "I'm just making lasagne in that dish you gave me 25 years ago Are you still using those cups I gave you? er, no, they all were taken to the charity shop because I didn't like or need them broke in the end.

megrim - I know it's not actually funny...but that did raise a little mini snort from me. Sorry.

Just waiting for my dm to start this.

I'm dreading the phone calls at about 4pm when I've just got in from school run and she tells me she hated this time of day. (Her mum did it to her)

WitchWay i sincerely hope that my DM doesn't remember everything she's ever given me as most of it has ended up at the charity shop.

Most memorable item was the disney character embroidered shorts she bought me when i was in my mid 20s

Food also create massive arguments in my parents house but i'm not going to risk naming the items for fear of outing myself. It's not sprouts though, Megrim at least they're not a year round food!

My mum calls within 5 minutes of getting in from school. I don't answer.

Mine hates trying on clothes in shops so she finds something she likes in the sale but a size too small, buys it, assuming it might fit, it doesn't, but she's already taken the labels off by then so she tries to pass it to me. One size too small for her is one size too large for me and I don't dress like an old lady so this doesn't work & she can get very huffy when I decline the offer

My mother shares many of these traits. She's also the mistress of the back handed compliment/sideways remark

"You've changed your hair. Well, as long as you like it that's all that matters.'

or

'Top Shop? And there's me thinking it was a place for young people. Just shows what I know.'

etc etc....

Witch that reminds me of years of Xmas presents in my teens where my mother had bought really sad Good a Girl clothes (not allowed jeans!) and ihad to pretend I loved them AND wear them because there would be hell to pay about my being ungrateful if I didn't!

You are a negative miserable lot!

You're all turning into your Mothers. Beware!

Don't worry you just have 'the rage' isn't pregnancy fun!

"When are you getting your hair cut?"
"I had it cut last week"
"No I mean cut short"
"I'm not"
"But you're nearly 50"

She's been pestering me to have short hair since I turned 30 "now you're getting older". I'm currently 48 with shoulder-length hair which I don't think is inappropriate!

I will never go on holiday with my mother again. She spent the whole time sulking because nobody wanted to eat dinner at 5:30 and then more sulking because we all wanted to spend so much time in the water (she hates swimming) at the lakefront cottage we had rented .

Oh I feel your pain

I am currently on holiday with dd and my mother.

So far she has:
Bought less than the agreed amount we said we would for spending
Sulked when I wouldn't give her £50 out of said spending money to buy a watch
Talked to staff like they are deaf because they're not white/British

She pisses me right off

My own DM is no longer with us

BUT you have described my MIL

She has been in my house for an hour and not acknowledged her GC

She loves to talk about her -boring- life all the fecking time.

I really can't be bothered with her anymore, but she's my MIL so I don't have to

Much harder if its your mum.

Oh yes also have the tearful 'oh I can't do anything right' nonsense.

I forgot to add that this morning she said, 'can you dry the back of my hair, it takes me ages' I just said no and walked off
She would have me doing everything for her

My DM is like this too! Constant complaining, constant negativity, and everything I do is wrong.

Last week she lent me a book and as she held it out to me I read aloud the review on the front cover, for which, I was told off for being sarcastic! When I pointed out that I was just reading off the cover she harrumphed, which is the closest I've ever got to an apology I think :)

My DM has always been supportive and helpful when mine were little and I was able to go back to work because of her and my dad

HOWEVER she still irritates the HELL out of me at times

My dds are both late teens now, and if myself of dh chat generally about what they are doing, or where they are going...she will pull a face of disapproval and I'll always get a phone call later ( after she has stewed) asking me
If I should be " letting them go to.....etc
Should we be letting them stay up late
Should we be telling them to save their money instead of spend it!!!
And it goes on
I know she has their best interest at heart
But it feels like she can't trust our judgment as parents

I keep quiet and smile through gritted teeth ..always
dH is too laid back to worry
She is sooo good and supportive in other ways
So I just end up feeling guilty for how I feel

The not allowed jeans thing as a teenager and being told to be grateful for clothes they did buy even if they didn't fit or suit my shape or coloring - my mother saw me in all beige.

However it's DF who remembers everything they've bought especially the DC - and asks where they toy they bought two year ago is - it broke or they've out grown it is never right answer.

With both I'm not allowed to know anything - even if it's the area I live in or my kitchen appliance or an area I've worked or studied in. Plus they seem to enjoy finding fault and being miserable.

I couldn't holiday with my own parents - DSis has with them and they ended up not talking. Oddly despite not always having a great relationship with IL I can and do enjoy holidaying with them though we do have our our accommodation and we do keep busy.

Avoid next years family holiday.

My late mother was a bit like this too Meddie. Made things difficult and I used to feel guilty for feeling so irritated. But I couldn't help it!

OP we have a short break with ils coming up, we're in the countryside and they're coming up from London. I'm fine with dhs siblings but omg my mil! Incredibly fussy re food, massive hypochondriac, semi permanent cats bum mouth, and above all subtly controlling. I put up with her cos she's dhs mum and my kids' only surviving GP but 2 days of her is plenty. I'll be biting my lip a lot, and ignoring her when she (as she will) rubs a finger tip along the OUTSIDE windowsills and shudders to find dust or leaves there. Actually I'll give her a cloth to wipe them herself if I catch her picking fault this time. And I've given up catering for her as every time I try to suit her dietary parameters, she moves the goal posts or says she isn't hungry. It used to rile me but I reckon it's just a bit less work for me now.

My DM is fab and I can’t fault her. My MIL is from the very depths of Hell, but lucky for me she’s in the UK and I’m in Ireland.

SIL is Skyping me tonight for a vent. I seriously worry one day SIL will snap and kill her mother.

“You’re far too fat for those jeans dear…what? Well if I don’t tell you who will?”

MIL is considerably overweight herself. SIL is a gorgeous woman, in a Nigella way.

“You drink too much, you eat too much, you spend too much, I don’t like your friends”

Racist remarks regarding my DN’s non-white friends, hating SIL’s own PIL who are just lovely. Ranting about “Foreign nationals” (she’s not actually British).

Today on the phone MIL told me she thinks SIL will be happy when MIL is dead. So she even realises how much she’s pushing SIL to the limits. AND STILL DOES IT!

What’s that about?

In a bizarre twist, she’s devoted to me albeit I’m Irish and she “Hates the bloody Irish”

She's cut SIL out of her will twice in the last 5 years over perceived slights. DH just tells her to do what she likes, as he'll split everything with his sister anyway.

Instead of being ashamed of herself for forcing him into such a position, she took credit for raising such a "Wonderful, kind man"

That's right, he can't put a foot wrong, no matter what he does or says.

DM also seems to forget how convebient and quick everything can be done nowadays. If I mention dd eating those instant oats so simple "but you could just soak some oats overnight", or like today, on my phone buying train tickets, "dont know why you are faffing on with your phone, just wait til Monday and take a walk to the station".

Why?!?!?! When I can have / do the exact same in 1 minute?