to think my bloody mother is a pain in the arse?

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

No one can ever say or do anything without her commenting on it. Ever. No one can do anything differently to how she does it without them being wrong. Her way is The Way.

She does a perfect cats bum mouth.

She gives her opinion even when it isn't requested.

She does a hundred thousand things that bug the living daylights out of me.

Fwiw I usually just dilute her with work etc but theres 15 of us all on holiday atm and frankly, how I have not exploded I do not know.

I am pg so not sure if its the hormones too but I suspect not.

Rage.

[SnookyPooky]

Am scared that I will eventually turn into my Mum. Yikes.

[MozzchopsThirty]

My mother is smoking shisha tonight with me and dd so she's won some brownie points

[Shockers]

OP, I'll swap your mum for mine... who will probably tell you that you can't possibly be irritated by her because you aren't capable, or emotionally intelligent enough to feel irritation.

[Megrim]

Cheerful bloody hell, I just looked at Castle Howard admission prices and I have to agree with your mum.

Aaaaggghhh, does that mean I will turn into my mother?

[cheerfultrail]

Megrim mine does the whole cost of things too. On holiday in Yorkshire recently my parents refused to go to Castle Howard, on the North a york Moors a Railway, or indeed any other ruddy attraction because of the cost (all perfectly reasonable prices) and then had the cheek to complain they'd had a rubbish hol because "there was nothing to do".

[Megrim]

My mother still complains about the price of everything in shillings, as in "thirty shillings for a birthday card, eeee what's the world coming to." And how they only had one egg a week during the war (which I doubt, given that Grandad ran the local Co-op). And don't get her started on how much Birmingham has changed since the 1930s, for that way madness lies.

In fact, I think she may be the original model for Viz's Mrs Brady Old Lady.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Makes perfect sense to me mary

Mines funniest about baby care (the other stuff is more hurtful than funny)

20 odd years ago anything i did baby care related was pisspoor (not breast feeding,using a few disposables that type of thing) when other family members had children and made the same choices it was because it was the best thing to do.

Every child I've had since has been bf and reusable nappies and after first using not doing those as examples now I'm an object of ridicule for actually doing them.

But as you say I can ignore her existence or when not ignoring her I'm at total liberty to say to her "fuck off you festering lying cunt" without having to worry about someone else yelling at me "you said what to my mother"

[Biscuitsneeded]

Oh yes, had forgotten the flagrant rudeness to me that would be unforgiveable addressed to anyone else. Upon my arrival at their house once, bearing in mind they live 250 miles away and don't see me often (because we always have to visit them, my house isn't good enough for her), her first words to me were "well there certainly isn't any less of you" (I was a size 12 at most and also 14 weeks pregnant, not that she knew that because she was one of the last to know, for very good reasons...)

[MaryWestmacott]

Sock, we also have "remembering history only in a way that suits her current argument/opinion".

Agree re the mil supporters, I'm often on those threads saying "oh, my mums like that, although my mil is lovely" followed by lots of people claiming that the op wouldn't mind the bad behaviour if it was their own mum. Which is bollocks, there's lots of us on here saying actually, we do mind when it's our own mum. Difference is, I don't feel the need to start a thread about limited my mums exposure to me and the dcs, nor do I have to factor in DHs feelings in the matter, if it's your own mum it's so much easier to make the decision and stick to it. I've decided on my own we'll never again stay at my parents' holiday home with them, if the holiday home belonged to pil, it wouldn't just be my decision, but DHs as well, and would probably need more discussion/ negotiation.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Oh and she also claims that her newspaper of choice has always been the telegraph well I call utter bollocks on that one, because I know for a fact and now can prove it that up until 1993 she was a proud daily mail reader!

Not only did she read it but she had it delivered to her house.

[IneedAsockamnesty]

Mine rewrites history constantly then accuses me of doing it, I have learnt over the years to never ever ever refer to anything about my childhood unless I can reference it to either cp notes or formal records of some type, makes conversation just a little different.

She never apologises for anything ever and just does the "I'm sorry that you feel that way" thing.

She can't hold my 4 month old for a cuddle because she's so ill and feeble (her words) but can quite happily lift up my 6 year old nephew.

I fucking hate her with a vengeance even if i do love her.but if murder was legal I would have shot her years ago.


On a different note I'm gobsmacked that not one of the regular mil defenders who turn up on every single mil thread basically saying your mad axe murdering mil is just perfect because they are a equal grandparent and pity all the mums of sons and that crap,are no where to be seen here. It's amusing.

[mrssnodge]

my DD was 'interested- just looking' at a house to buy- my DM, was up in the bedroom cupboards within 5 mins of telling her, sorting out all the shit she could get rid off ' for when DD ' moves in!!' -

[littlemisssarcastic]

to the car.

Stupid autocorrect.

[littlemisssarcastic]

And the exaggerating!! If I were to ever leave mothers on bad terms, she would follow me to the cat, saying 'So this means I won't see DD ever again.'
'No mother, it doesn't mean that, it just means we are going home now.'
'So I'll probably never see DD again then.'
Repeat ad nauseum.

And the assumptions about everything!!
One of her favourite things to do was assume. She'll assume until you tell her different so may have been a way of extracting information out of me, but if I ever asked her where she got that idea from, she'd just say 'Well I assumed because you didn't say anything.'

Well don't bloody assume all the time. It drove me mad!!!

[WitchWay]

My mother had a major flounce on Boxing Day, accompanied by loud insincere sobbing as she clattered about ostentatiously in the kitchen. I told her she was being ridiculous, raised my voice a bit too for the first time in years & she then became all hysterical about the fact we'd never go for Christmas again - actually she might be right there!

[mrssnodge]

my Dm drives me nuts-so lovely to other peolpe but so opinionated with me and my dc and even my gdc! insits on knitting My DGDC nasty green or yellow knitted garments that are rank ! she can see my Dd dress their babies in fashionable nice clothes, next etc- no way are they gonna wear grey/green and yellow cardigans! my Dd laugh and just accept it, but my DM asks why dont the babies ever wear the stuff i knit! I have told her time and time again, thanks for doing it, but they dont really wear stuff like that any more, please dont bother/safe your money etc - - her response well you wore that stuff- aye in the fooking sixties!!!!!!!!

[littlemisssarcastic]

Does anyone else's mother flounce regularly? If anyone dares to confront my mother over unacceptable behaviour, even just to say 'That's not a very nice thing to say.', mother will then claim she is obviously not allowed an opinion of her own and it would obviously be far better if she just disappeared, at which point she grabs her things and flounces off with an exaggerated flick of the hair as she goes.
It's been a long time since anyone has run after her so I'm not sure why she still does it.

I can relate to the boring conversation. My mother used to work in an engineering factory and she once told me how she was being bullied at work.
She then proceeded to tell me exactly what she was doing at the time in minute detail, only pausing to ask if I understood what she meant. No I have no idea what you mean, I have no idea how to jig anything or how much grease you needed to put on the sodding valve but if I admit I don't know you just go over it again and again until I say I do understand.

After 20 minutes of the most intricate details of the job, she will get to the point which was that as her colleague passed her, colleague knocked her cardigan onto the floor deliberately, leaving me wondering what relevance it was to verbally train me in her job first?

On the other hand, when she asks me how my job is going, if I reply in any more than 2 sentences, she turns away and either talks to someone else in the room while I'm still talking or starts texting someone else etc. She also talks over me and of course no one wants to pull her up on it in case she gets offended and flounces again.

I tend to avoid too.

[MyNameIsKenAdams]

DM also seems to forget how convebient and quick everything can be done nowadays. If I mention dd eating those instant oats so simple "but you could just soak some oats overnight", or like today, on my phone buying train tickets, "dont know why you are faffing on with your phone, just wait til Monday and take a walk to the station".

Why?!?!?! When I can have / do the exact same in 1 minute?

[encyclogirl]

My DM is fab and I can’t fault her. My MIL is from the very depths of Hell, but lucky for me she’s in the UK and I’m in Ireland.

SIL is Skyping me tonight for a vent. I seriously worry one day SIL will snap and kill her mother.

“You’re far too fat for those jeans dear…what? Well if I don’t tell you who will?”

MIL is considerably overweight herself. SIL is a gorgeous woman, in a Nigella way.

“You drink too much, you eat too much, you spend too much, I don’t like your friends”

Racist remarks regarding my DN’s non-white friends, hating SIL’s own PIL who are just lovely. Ranting about “Foreign nationals” (she’s not actually British).

Today on the phone MIL told me she thinks SIL will be happy when MIL is dead. So she even realises how much she’s pushing SIL to the limits. AND STILL DOES IT!

What’s that about?

In a bizarre twist, she’s devoted to me albeit I’m Irish and she “Hates the bloody Irish”

She's cut SIL out of her will twice in the last 5 years over perceived slights. DH just tells her to do what she likes, as he'll split everything with his sister anyway.

Instead of being ashamed of herself for forcing him into such a position, she took credit for raising such a "Wonderful, kind man"

That's right, he can't put a foot wrong, no matter what he does or says.

[MadAriadne]

My late mother was a bit like this too Meddie. Made things difficult and I used to feel guilty for feeling so irritated. But I couldn't help it!

OP we have a short break with ils coming up, we're in the countryside and they're coming up from London. I'm fine with dhs siblings but omg my mil! Incredibly fussy re food, massive hypochondriac, semi permanent cats bum mouth, and above all subtly controlling. I put up with her cos she's dhs mum and my kids' only surviving GP but 2 days of her is plenty. I'll be biting my lip a lot, and ignoring her when she (as she will) rubs a finger tip along the OUTSIDE windowsills and shudders to find dust or leaves there. Actually I'll give her a cloth to wipe them herself if I catch her picking fault this time. And I've given up catering for her as every time I try to suit her dietary parameters, she moves the goal posts or says she isn't hungry. It used to rile me but I reckon it's just a bit less work for me now.

[HobbetInTheHeadlights]

The not allowed jeans thing as a teenager and being told to be grateful for clothes they did buy even if they didn't fit or suit my shape or coloring - my mother saw me in all beige.

However it's DF who remembers everything they've bought especially the DC - and asks where they toy they bought two year ago is - it broke or they've out grown it is never right answer.

With both I'm not allowed to know anything - even if it's the area I live in or my kitchen appliance or an area I've worked or studied in. Plus they seem to enjoy finding fault and being miserable.

I couldn't holiday with my own parents - DSis has with them and they ended up not talking. Oddly despite not always having a great relationship with IL I can and do enjoy holidaying with them though we do have our our accommodation and we do keep busy.

Avoid next years family holiday.

[Olivegirl]

My DM has always been supportive and helpful when mine were little and I was able to go back to work because of her and my dad

HOWEVER she still irritates the HELL out of me at times

My dds are both late teens now, and if myself of dh chat generally about what they are doing, or where they are going...she will pull a face of disapproval and I'll always get a phone call later ( after she has stewed) asking me
If I should be " letting them go to.....etc
Should we be letting them stay up late
Should we be telling them to save their money instead of spend it!!!
And it goes on
I know she has their best interest at heart
But it feels like she can't trust our judgment as parents

I keep quiet and smile through gritted teeth ..always
dH is too laid back to worry
She is sooo good and supportive in other ways
So I just end up feeling guilty for how I feel

[Ilovexmastime]

My DM is like this too! Constant complaining, constant negativity, and everything I do is wrong.

Last week she lent me a book and as she held it out to me I read aloud the review on the front cover, for which, I was told off for being sarcastic! When I pointed out that I was just reading off the cover she harrumphed, which is the closest I've ever got to an apology I think :)

[MozzchopsThirty]

Oh yes also have the tearful 'oh I can't do anything right' nonsense.

I forgot to add that this morning she said, 'can you dry the back of my hair, it takes me ages' I just said no and walked off
She would have me doing everything for her

[IorekByrnisonsArmour]

My own DM is no longer with us

BUT you have described my MIL

She has been in my house for an hour and not acknowledged her GC

She loves to talk about her -boring- life all the fecking time.

I really can't be bothered with her anymore, but she's my MIL so I don't have to

Much harder if its your mum.