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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to make a noise in my house

243 replies

softcat · 20/02/2014 20:07

Hello

This situation is driving me a bit mad. I live in a semi detached house with DH, DS1 and DS2. Our neighbours moved in a couple of years ago and since then they have not stopped complaining about footfalls, kids "screaming and crying all the time" (I think they seem pretty cheerful but perhaps this is subjective). Doors slamming (again I think this is normal door shutting). We have tried to minimise noise by fitting the thickest underlay possible and fitting soft closers on all doors that we can. I feel that I spend my life telling the kids to be quiet and get really tense if they raise their voices, run or get upset.
They are threatening us with environmental health and solicitors. There is a bit of finger pointing and bosom hoiking. Some pretty heavy insinuation that I am a shit parent and I am aware that she is pretty nasty about me to anyone who will listen.
So… how much noise is acceptable! How quiet are your kids? Do they walk around in the house and do they ever shout or jump? Do they always keep their hands on the door handle and make sure it doesn't bang?

OP posts:
YouAreCompletelyRight · 31/05/2014 11:50

Me ex neighbour drove at me too. There are some strange people out there.

ModernToss · 31/05/2014 13:36

I think you should let her know that her actions have caused the sale to fall through and therefore stopped her from getting new neighbours which is what she clearly wants.

Exactly. If she really does find you so intolerable (and boy, is she in for a shock when she realises that your noise levels are normal), she just shot herself in the foot.

MyLatest · 01/06/2014 13:50

Any update OP? I am so sorry for your family, I remembered your original thread. Keeping my fingers crossed that you don't lose buyers. FWIW the next time she goes nuclear I would do some recording of your own.

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 01/06/2014 21:12

This may seem cheeky, but can't you send them (NDN) details of the soundproofing company that you used with a note saying something like "If you don't like normal noise...try this product" Grin

Original poster
softcat · 01/06/2014 21:25

Our buyers were going to come round today to discuss it but couldn't because they were poorly. Bizarrely they still seem keen so that is good. They have not given us anymore trouble and the only noise from them has been nice family noise. My youngest has been out cycling on the close again with a bit of encouragement which is good. I just want out now. If I think about it too much it seems so unfair as our house and garden is beautiful, near friends and in a great location.
If I went back in time I would have stood up to them from day one but it is too late now and to be fair to us it escalated slowly and it seemed best to try and accommodate them at first.
I also think they are so batshit crazy that we would have ended up moving anyway!

OP posts:
Original poster
softcat · 01/06/2014 21:27

Oh and steamtrains they have their letter box screwed shut!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
softcat · 02/06/2014 20:24

Got an offer accepted on a lovely house! Much older, thick walls and no shared joists! Our buyers are still ok, they want to proceed but will call to meet their new neighbours this week.... I really hope it goes ok.

OP posts:
TempusFuckit · 02/06/2014 20:44

Congratulations! Really hope you manage to get out soon, it sounds horrendous ...

Pipbin · 02/06/2014 22:09

Sounds very promising Softcat

TwinkleTwinkleStarlight · 02/06/2014 22:20

*Do the buyers have children?

I am very impressed at your honesty with them, but it's brave of you to let them meet these bloody lunatics. Fingers crossed the meeting goes well.

Really, I am so angry on your behalf too.*

I may be wrong but I think you legally have to let buyers know if you have a dispute with neighbours.

Sorry for your situation OP. We have neighbour issues ATM too

Original poster
softcat · 02/06/2014 22:25

Yeah , we let the buyers know. Originally we just said that they moaned about our noise a lot. We have since let them know we called the police as they drove at our youngest. We said that they get annoyed as they work nights n the kids make a noise during the day and they think that as they work all the day it will be fine for them... I feel I have been honest so if they are happy to live next door to sociopaths then good luck to them. I am so happy at the thought of moving!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
softcat · 02/06/2014 22:26

And the buyers don't have children... yet, hopefully they will. E more assertive from the get go if the wankers dare to complain.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 02/06/2014 22:31

If your sale doesn't happen could you rent your house out to a heavy metal playing group of students?

Original poster
softcat · 02/06/2014 22:53

I was thinking more along the lines of taking up child minding!

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnish · 02/06/2014 23:08

Would one of your children like to learn to play the drums?

SteamTrainsRealAleandOpenFires · 03/06/2014 00:04

OP...I'm just wondering if either of your DCs have a birthday coming up soon?. Maybe a nice big party with all their friends, might be in order.Wink

Or have you thought of having a "it's sad, that we have to move out" party, with other street neighbours. of course, you won't be able to inform next door as their letter box isn't working Grin

mommy2ash · 03/06/2014 00:47

those people sound insane. i think its best you move as that is no way to live. the house next to me was empty when i moved in and after a while someone bought it and i spent weeks telling my dd to be quiet. they are really small houses and i was paranoid about noise. once i met my neighbour she was lovely and said she didn't even know i had a child she is so quiet. i told her if ever there was noise to just tell me and i would have no problem keeping it down. a while later she got a dog and said the same to me. thankfully neither of us have had a problem.

it really isn't normal the way your neighbours go on. i doubt there was anything that could have made them happy. i hope your buyers have better luck with them. is it wrong that i hope they have a very noisy hobby lol.

ThePinkOcelot · 03/06/2014 16:41

How old are these people?! Bastards!! I think if it were me, I would have been complaining about her alarm going off at 5am!!

Glad you are moving, so you can get on with your life x

Pleasecanisleepnow · 03/06/2014 19:20

I haven't been able able to read the whole thread so I'm sorry if I'm repeating anything.

I've lived next door to some really noisy people (arguing at all hours, fights in the front and back gardens, loud music all hours, ect) and your family sound like a dream in comparison.

I think you should report them for harassment! They are seriously impacting your life and your kids lives (if they can't even make a sound in their own home then where can they?) and if that's how they want things, ie, threatening with solicitors, eh, ect, then you need to show them it works both ways. (I wouldn't warn them though, let it be a nice surprise ;-)) You have kids, well surprise surprise, kids make noise!

You've also shown that you've taken measures to reduce the amount of noise carrying through to them. They can sod off. You've done more than most people would've.

Good luck

GangstaGranny · 03/06/2014 22:39

I just wanted to add, my neighbours complained about the noise my 2 DC made going up and down stairs. We are semi detached with the stairs against the shared wall. We are fully carpeted and have a no shoes rule so the noise never seemed ridiculous to me. Our DC are pretty good really, aren't allowed to wake us before 8am and have their lights out by 8.30pm so hardly antisocial! Last winter we had 6 of DD's friends round for a small birthday party which ended with the 6 friends and my two DC thundering up and down stairs playing a variation of hide and seek... the noise was horrendous and I expected a knock from NDN any minute. The reality was they obviously realised that our DC weren't actually that noisy after all and haven't complained since.

Original poster
softcat · 04/06/2014 22:06

That is brill Gangsta, I wish that had happened in our lives. Semi's will always have some neighbour noise and our modern one has more than others. Move is still going OK isn, our buyers want them to move their fence back to the proper boundary which I hope they will do. Hopefully they will be so desperate for us to move that they will do it!!!

OP posts:
inabeautifulplace · 04/06/2014 22:27

It's a tough one isn't it. If you're a reasonable person you do naturally assume that a complaint could be reasonable. So you try to accommodate other peoples requests. Only this is difficult if the requests are inherently bonkers.

In most property, there will be noise transmitted from neighbours. This is normal. Occasional noise is normal and completely acceptable. Constant noise is not, and noise outside sensible hours is not. Your neighbour has been winding themselves up for years on normal background noise. Tough, and I genuinely hope your buyers move in and ignore their complaints from the off.

Sazzle41 · 05/06/2014 14:10

Agree with CandyKate, the only doors i open & shut are front door and bathroom door (and even then bathroom door open a lot as steam breeds damp). Could you just pull bedroom doors 'to' , not shut properly when the kids go to bed as well? All other doors i prop open to get air ciruclating/stop place getting stuffy: unless its dead of winter and freezing. But even then i never shut bedroom door as i like a cool bedroom. I do think slamming doors so hard walls shake is not considerate .. had that a lot in flats.

Original poster
softcat · 18/08/2014 22:40

Well I moved. Totally worth it in the end, our new house feels solid, robust and kind. I think we will be fine and there is no shame in moving away from sociopaths!

OP posts:
lizzzyyliveson · 18/08/2014 22:47

Flowers Congratulations! That is great news.