PIL Issue. Need some perspective.

[NameChangedForPILissue]

NC'd for obvious reasons.

PIL are very well off. Rich enough that MIL doesn't and has never worked. FIL earns a huge amount, and is unbelievably tight with it too (refuses to update 25 year old kitchen, 30 year old bathroom, won't buy MIL a new car even though hers is verging on dangerous, won't spend more than £10 per GC at christmas etc).

They are set to become millionaires with some inheritance that is probably due to come in the next year or two. For now they live on their £200k+ a year income with very little expenditure.

For the past 8 years, they have given us money every month to help with our living expenses. It began when DH was at university, before we met, and was the standard parents helping out a child at uni situation. DH always worked PT to top this up.

After leaving uni, DH wasn't able to get a job in his field and so has subsequently had to retrain, and is halfway through that process. This means he is earning low for now as he is studying whilst working so is essentially unskilled. In around 2 years, we hope he will be on a good salary. I am also on a relatively low wage.

We've been married since 2010, and since then they've given us £500 a month to help us out. Obviously, this is very generous and e appreciate this. SIL has had the same.

SIL no longer needs this, as her and her husband have now got high flying careers (lawyer and pilot) and no children, and do FIL has decided to stop all our payments.

We've just moved into a new home, and have a baby due in a few weeks. The timing could not be worse.

DH is so furious he wants to tell him we are cutting him out and never seeing him again. I don't know what to do - is he being selfish and awful? Or is it his money and we should be grateful for what we've had up until now?

Didn't you know free childcare is pretty common in that famous area of the UK where housing is more expensive than London, "mortgage" is a colloquialism for "rent", bar work involves pissing around on the Internet for several hours at a time, accountants who are actually bankers earn 11K and people who freely give 100000K away are tight fuckers?

Now I may be naive, but no matter the length of your lease, if you don't have the money, you can't pay. Correct? So surely landlord would prefer you to go to them and say due to changes in financial circumstances you can't afford the rent any more. It's surely in their best interests to let you out of the lease, rather than have to start chasing non payments etc.

If they refuse to let you out of the contract and you can't afford the rent then it'll cost them more in the long run?

I have had some great advice, from PM's.

What I have got from this thread is the agreement that IABU.

I get it. I am sorry.

OP, look I strongly advise you get yourself some proper advice from Shelter, CAb etc this week. If you are due next month you need to figure this all out asap.

If you get a chance later (or even now) make a list...make lots of lists.

Because this will need figuring out pretty sharp.

By the way your friend must be a very good friend to offer to have your baby at 6 weeks old, as well as hers!!

sarah stop being so rude.

She is, an amazing friend!

I did the same for her 6 years ago.

WHAT??! I missed that bit. Your 'teacher friend is able to look after your newborn, because she will have a newborn??! No way on earth would a new mum sacrifice time with her newborn just to give you free childcare. Seriously.

I have explained everything, and explained how I am not talking bollocks.

Not sure there is anything constructive for you (or possibly anyone else) on this thread any more OP.

Yes, and your explanations of your explanations make no more sense. I'm not the only person to have pointed this out.

purple well, she is. She offered. And it's not full time, FGS. It's 2 days a week.

She is 'sacrificing' time with her newborn as it's her third child and is happy to help us out.

As I did for her 6 years ago.

Still no customers in the bar, OP.

It's just descended into people being horrible now.

MN at it's finest.

"wont spend more than £10 per grandchild at xmas" - where have the extra children come from? You say you have one at present and SIL has none?

"Well, we do think he is tight and I won't apologise for it."

Entitled much he has given you £500 a month for eight years and he is tight? I'd hate to see what you consider generous!

Given your daytime job is the employed one, your night job must be the self employed one. If it makes the same as the day job why dont you give up the pub and work more hours on the SE role and less during the night?

I still think its a wind up, no normal person would call a parent "tight" that had given them £6k a year tax free for eight years.

I don't get the £11k for a banking trainee thing either. DH works for an accountant and has just completed a training contract - not to Chartered level. His pay went up significantly when reviewed every year as he got more qualified and experienced and consequently more useful to the company. With 2 years experience and part qualified you should not still be getting the same pay you started out on. I'm in the SE and you would pay a office junior school leaver with only GCSEs or A levels £11k, not someone who has the skills and ability to be put through a financial qualification.

What sort of qualification is your H doing? As others have said, there is no route from £11k to a good wage available
In the world of finance. It sounds like it will be a waste of money to carry on.

Yep, Sarah has summed it up perfectly.

There is some great advice on this thread, so just in case anything you have written is based in reality, you would do well to stop calling your Fil (you know, the one paying your bills) abusive and start figuring out what you are going to do to become self supporting adults.

Op, why will you have to return to work 3 weeks after birth. surely you will be entitled to maternity pay?

well we can't afford the cut in pay that maternity pay would give us.

Sarah MN haven't come back and said OP is anything other genuine or have I missed that.

Is there a reason you're determined to keep picking away?

If you don't believe her then hide the thread instead of typing like a Billy-Big-Bollocks troll hunter and keeping the thread going.

Maybe it's the sort of non qualification sold to overseas students who have no hope of entering finance or maybe a groupon offer thing.

happy you are right. He has been very generous over the years and we should be grateful.

I am so sorry for moaning that he was stopping the payments. I am wrong. I know.

Sarah you are just being nasty now. If you think they OP is a troll, you are troll hunting which is against guidelines. If OP is telling the truth you are spending your time repeatedly posting nasty posts to an 8month pregnant woman in a very bad financial situation who has come here for help and advice. You are arguing over semantics in a horrible way. Shame on you.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here OP when I say that at best you sound like a couple of dreamers! You need to wake up sharpish!

You are wasting precious time and energy directing anger at your FIL as opposed to taking responsibility for your own life/lives.

You both absolutely need to sit down and review your whole situation - you have been given plenty of advice on how to do this on this massive thread.

And stop wasting time moaning about how hard done by you think you are!!