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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that my husband doesn't shower every day?

125 replies

HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:50

Just that really. By the time he has a shower tomorrow morning it will be 48 hours. He has worn the same clothes to sleep, do the garden, go for a walk etc. We've had a quiet weekend and not had any plans to go out or meet friends or family I'm appalled and I find it somewhat revolting. I certainly make the effort to shower clean teeth etc even if we have no plans. Am I expecting too much? Should he just be able to relax and not make an effort as he's just with us?

OP posts:
Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:51

Perhaps I'm being too fastidious or maybe even controlling?

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 16/02/2014 18:52

So this is just this weekend he's skipped a shower? I don't think that's even noteworthy.

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2014 18:52

I'm more concerned that he sleeps in this clothes? Confused

YANBU though

We bath every day but I realise (from reading MN) not everyone does

pussycatdoll · 16/02/2014 18:52

He sleeps in outdoor clothes ?
I don't shower everyday especially if i'm just chilling at home
But I wouldn't work in the garden & then sleep in those clothes, the sheets must be filthy , gross !

OneMoreCupOfTea · 16/02/2014 18:52

YABU, if he has not done any sport where he might have got quite sweaty, I honestly don't think it matters. I'm assuming he still brushes his teeth though?

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 18:52

Personally I think people should shower every day ideally even if no plans. I wouldn't like it if DH did what you describe and would tell him.

LiberalLibertine · 16/02/2014 18:53

Shocked? Really? 48 hours is nothing, now this is a first world problem, and a weird one at that.

LaurieFairyCake · 16/02/2014 18:53

Can't you just give him the nod

He'll be up those stairs quicker n a ferret up a drainpipe Wink

ilovepowerhoop · 16/02/2014 18:53

has he washed any of his body/brushed teeth, etc? I do tend to wash every day even if not leaving the house or I would smell horrible

Turquoisetamborine · 16/02/2014 18:54

I would find that revolting but some people shower more than others. I have a public facing job and 60% of the people I see have not showered that day and/or cleaned their teeth. I quite often have to sniff into a perfumed hankie to be able to deal with them.

I'm therefore very conscious of BO and am fastidious about personal hygiene.

bakeroony · 16/02/2014 18:54

The only thing I would have issue with is that he wears the same clothes in bed. That's a bit mank, especially if he's been outside.

Otherwise, why not just tell him when he's stinky? That's what I do with DP and it's a jolly, cute thing between us.

Feminine · 16/02/2014 18:54

Does he smell?

bakeroony · 16/02/2014 18:55

I quite often have to sniff into a perfumed hankie to be able to deal with them.

Sorry, I lol'ed Grin how Tudorian!

LiberalLibertine · 16/02/2014 18:55

So he fell asleep in joggers and t-shirt, got up, went about his day? So what?

TOADfan · 16/02/2014 18:56

Yabvu I dont shower at weekends because im just lounging in my pjs on the sofs whats the point.

In fact I usually only shower 3 times a week and wasg inbetween, no one has ever said I smell or even noticed.

im no green person but think of the waste of water.

Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:56

He has what he calls home clothes which he sleeps in and does everything in, which I think is pretty yuk too as he wears them for about a week before he puts them in the wash... Not a one off as I've also noticed that when he works from home it's the same thing. I am going so far as to think it's disrespectful to me as his sexual partner or is that going too far? Obviously I don't go near him if he's not clean so it's hampering our love life tbh

OP posts:
TheOnlyPink · 16/02/2014 18:56

Shocked? You are married to this man, surely you've noticed his personal hygiene habits by now?

as for your actual question, its not disgusting that he hasn't showered in 48 hours, but him sleeping in his clothes and not changing is a bit ew.

VelmaD · 16/02/2014 18:57

Yabu. I shower every other day mostly, though brush my teeth and have a spruce up every day (twice a day)

And I categorically do not smell.

people seem obsessed with daily showers or baths nowadays. I just dont need to.

Won't even tell you how often I clean my kids......

Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:58

He's taken huge offence at me bringing it up!

OP posts:
ilovepowerhoop · 16/02/2014 18:58

sounds a bit gross really

miffybun73 · 16/02/2014 18:58

I would find that revolting. We both shower every morning and every evening without fail.

SingMoreWhenYoureWinning · 16/02/2014 18:59

Be shocked if you find him shagging the maid.

Or indulging in his secret fetish of eating dog food.

Or wearing your knickers.

Or wanking over a photo of Cliff Richard.

Not showering for a day is pretty tame...not really shock-worthy in my book.

AskBasil · 16/02/2014 18:59

Minging.

Yuk.

Does he smell?

I think it's unreasonable to smell tbh, you have to have some consideration for the people you live with.

If he doesn't it's just about OK in the daytime, but I wouldn't want to share my bed with someone who hadn't washed that day.

I am a delicate flower though. Wink

Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:59

This is all a bit of an eye opener for me as it just wouldn't occur to me not to have a shower every day, I would smell otherwise. He certainly smells stale, to be kind.

OP posts:
PorkPieandPickle · 16/02/2014 18:59

So if it will be 48 hours tomorrow morning then he had a shower yesterday morning, and hasn't left the house since?

I really wouldn't notice never mind care if DH hadn't had a shower since yesterday morning!!

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