to be shocked that my husband doesn't shower every day?

[HuntingforBunting]

Just that really. By the time he has a shower tomorrow morning it will be 48 hours. He has worn the same clothes to sleep, do the garden, go for a walk etc. We've had a quiet weekend and not had any plans to go out or meet friends or family I'm appalled and I find it somewhat revolting. I certainly make the effort to shower clean teeth etc even if we have no plans. Am I expecting too much? Should he just be able to relax and not make an effort as he's just with us?

Me and dh are three times a week showerers, but brush teeth twice daily and wash regularly in a morning if not showered. Clean clothes for work every day, into pjs/comfies when home, couple of sets of these get washed weekly. Don't sleep in anything though.

Why is it disgusting? It's not like it's a week! It's only 48 hours and he's surely washed in that time. If I havent got weekend plans I don't shower from Friday night till Sunday night. I use wet wipes and wash. I don't smell in the slightest. Lots of deodorants these days are 48 hours too (although I wet wipe and re apply deodorant).

Miffybun - every morning & every evening ? Wow honestly never heard of that before !

Weeerghh, twice a day? My skin would peel like a banana. I sometimes do if it's hot and I've been sweaty but I really think showering that often would do more harm than good.

Would rather go 48 hours without showering, tbh, if I've just been pottering around.

And I should explain that we've moved house so the set up is different, not so much need to go out as we can potter in the garden now, so this had not come to my attention before..and he works more from home now so ditto

YABU. Generally people don't need to shower every day - it's a very recent phenomenon you know.
It's got nothing to do with respecting or disrespecting you - it's about being comfortable with his own hygiene. If he smelled then I'm sure you'd have noticed long before you were married.
I'm also surprised that you are shocked - surely you knew a little about him before you married him ?

Have you only recently married him, OP? Maybe on Friday, for example?

Even then, I don't understand how you've just come to notice this (unless it was a very quick or chaste courtship).

Do explain, please!

Also...I showered yesterday morning. We've had a day in of doing nothing today so I've not showered or dressed

I'm not about to suggest a 69 to DH tonight but nor do I think I should hang my head in shame.

It's not the not showering per se (some people can get away with not showering every day and not smell); but if he smells 'stale' to you then obviously he needs to change something. I would want someone to tell me if I smelled stale.

It might be the clothes more than the showering. I find it particularly off-putting that he sleeps and does active stuff in the same clothes.

Ah, crosspost. Just saw your explanation, OP.

You've never spent a whole weekend with him before, is that it?

I don't shower every day and am sitting her in the p'j's i went to bed in last night, I had a bath on Friday night and that was the last time, but will have a shower tonight or in the morning before i go out into the real world for the day. I do clean my teeth twice a day, but its just me here this weekend the cats dont care if i have not had a bath.

Haha trying to explain that we have never before lived far from friends or relatives so always had lots of weekend plans, now we don't, and so he doesn't wash if it's just us in for the day.

If this were my dp,I would honestly leave him to it. Unless he reeked, but he wouldn't let it get that far, I'm sure your husband will do the same.

Twice a day shower religion is more shocking to me.

If you shower in the evening , then go to bed , then get up & have another shower then what do you do all night to get so filthy?!!
& do you wash your hair before bed & then again in the morning?
What is the point ?
Unless you go to the gym twice a day I'm truly baffled how you can be unclean so quick !

Well I'm certainly learning something new here!! Thanks for posts

He he! I posted a very similar OP a few months ago. I wasn't so much shocked as pissed off by it as I found it disrespectful to me. Saying that, I have spent the day alone with baby Ds so couldn't be arsed to shower!

Can I just emphasise that I do not expect him to shower twice a day, and I don't either! But fair enough, if you like to Shower twice a day,why not

YANBU. I find it disgusting that some people don't shower every day. I know from work that some people only brush their teeth every few days (I can smell those people from the waiting room)

I think it's acceptable to skip a shower for one day if you aren't going anywhere that day and just mooching round the house. But it's absolutely awful to sleep in the clothes you wear during the day. Buy him some nice pyjamas and dressing gown. He might even start wearing them with any luck.

Twice a day . Our boiler would give up. ( which it does if you want a hot bath tbh).

Revolting noArmani.

I grew up in a hot country where it is definitely necessary to shower every day, if not twice. It really isn't necessary to shower every day in the UK, and especially not in winter. As long as your DH doesn't smell, isn't sweaty, and isn't visibly grubby, then I think YABU. You might want to insist he showers before you DTD but otherwise leave him be.

I think the words 'poo crumbs'. We're mentioned by one poster on my similar thread .

Make that were mentioned.

Vivienne, he's very specific that some clothes are just for the house and these he doesn't wash very often. If I bought him more it would just be the same thing! He won't wear pajamas. What is very surprising is that he is fastidious about clothes for outside, won't wear any of them more than once. I think I find the stark contrast even more surprising.