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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be shocked that my husband doesn't shower every day?

125 replies

HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 18:50

Just that really. By the time he has a shower tomorrow morning it will be 48 hours. He has worn the same clothes to sleep, do the garden, go for a walk etc. We've had a quiet weekend and not had any plans to go out or meet friends or family I'm appalled and I find it somewhat revolting. I certainly make the effort to shower clean teeth etc even if we have no plans. Am I expecting too much? Should he just be able to relax and not make an effort as he's just with us?

OP posts:
BumPop · 16/02/2014 19:28

I think Iggy has summed it up perfectly. Grin So true!

expatinscotland · 16/02/2014 19:28

Shocked? You didn't know about his hygiene habits before you married him?

Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 19:30

So true right?! In a week, if he works from home a few days and we have no plans at the weekend this could rise to only 3 showers a week! I will do as bum suggests and make very encouraging noises about freshly washed dh

OP posts:
chippers1 · 16/02/2014 19:35

How anyone can not shower or bath every day is beyond me ? - Disgusting !

sparklyma · 16/02/2014 19:37

Choppers1 - why is it disgusting. I don't smell if I 'only' shower 6 x per week. I'm not in the slightest bit dirty.

TheDoctorsNewKidneys · 16/02/2014 19:37

Well, if he smells, it's obviously an issue, and he's not showering enough for him to stay clean and hygienic.

I probably have a bath 5-6 days a week (we don't have a shower). If it's my day off and I have no plans, I won't bother, but I do change out of my jammies and into clean clothes, and brush my teeth/wash face etc.

Back2Two · 16/02/2014 19:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns

Original poster
HuntingforBunting · 16/02/2014 19:44

Gosh back2,Is that the way it sounds?! Perhaps you haven't read the whole thread... Of course I've talked to him about it

OP posts:
principalitygirl · 16/02/2014 19:55

I don't shower daily due to dry skin and dermatitis. I may shower twice daily in summer if I'm v sweaty though but I could only do that as a one off as my skin would go crazy otherwise.

I absolutely don't smell but as others have said, I wouldn't want to DTD if I'd not showered in the last 24 hrs or so.

I last showered lunchtime yday. DH too. We went shopping yday afternoon and stayed home yday evening. Had awful night with DS and DH both ill and coughing etc. We all went out for a walk this morning while sun was out to get fresh air. We've done housework this afternoon and then DH did a short run and has just showered and I'm about to do some toning exercises and will shower before dinner. Nothing wrong with that.

As for not brushing teeth at least twice a day though - no way!

Purplepoodle · 16/02/2014 20:12

Meh tell him his home clothes smell and get him to chuck them in the wash.

winterlace · 16/02/2014 20:16

I shower every day because I personally just feel fresh and clean that way. I am not very physical however and certainly don't smell if I ever miss one for whatever reason! Confused

AnUnearthlyChild · 16/02/2014 20:23

I wouldn't mind the skipping a shower. Dh sometimes can't be faffed in a weekend. If he smells I tell him and he goes and has a bath or shower.
I'm not subtle,
'oi, dh you Ming. If you wanna shag, go wash' usually does the trick.

I would object to sleeping in day clothes tho. That is minging. Bed clothes used for bed, not necessarily pj's but I do think it is grim to sleep in clothes you have worn outside or worn while hoovering/ eating etc. I would expect him to change into bed clothes . I will admit to doing light gardening in my pjs though. Before chucking in them in the wash of course.

Preciousbane · 16/02/2014 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fairylea · 16/02/2014 20:36

There's no way I could even contemplate any kind of sexual relations with someone who didn't shower and brush their teeth regularly, shower once a day and teeth at least twice. He'd be on a sex ban!

mistermakersgloopyglue · 16/02/2014 20:40

I agree that this is odd in that
A) it is a total first world problem and
B) he is your husband - presumably you have know him for quite a while.

How can you be 'shocked'?

CoffeeTea103 · 16/02/2014 20:44

Yanbu, I truly did not know people don't shower every day. A shower once a day, brushing twice is the minimum.

WitchWay · 16/02/2014 20:46

Mine does this. At weekends, if we're not going anywhere, he often just keeps on the same clothes he's slept in on Friday night, which will be pyjama trousers plus pants, socks, t-shirt & lumberjack shirt (the clothes he's put on after taking off his work suit), until Sunday evening & then have a shower (if we're going for a curry), otherwise same stuff till Monday morning. He will clean his teeth perhaps twice during that period.

And he wonders why I don't want to have sex with him anymore Sad

I've told him he looks and smells like a tramp & that he'd get more sex if he stopped doing it. No change so I'll just keep wanking

Chwaraeteg · 16/02/2014 20:47

I think as long as he's had some sort of wash it's fine but if he hasn't at least washed under his arms and his 'area' and cleaned his teeth then that is seriously grim and he must smell bad.

Personally I grew up in a family of five with one bath and no shower, so I'm not accustomed to showing every day. I probably shower three times a week and just wash the important bits in the morning (hands, face, underarms, teeth). My boyfriend refers to this as a "whores bath".

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 16/02/2014 20:54

I used to have an ExP that didn't wash. He was a right homage to fromage and I dumped him for someone that washed. His DMum was right stuck up cow and made a snippy comment to me in the street a few months later as she considered I had gone down market and I'm afraid I delighted in telling her that her son stunk and asked when was the last time she actually was aware that he had had a bath or a shower and she couldn't actually say so at least she didn't lie to me. This was thirty five or so years ago but I met him again recently at a reunion and...he still wears clean clothes over an unwashed body (it was a warm room and he hugged me - arrgh!) Grin

ouryve · 16/02/2014 20:55

Not showering for 48 hours (unless having done something sweaty) bothers me less than not changing clothes for that entire time. The time between showers is no big deal. If he's kept the same undies on for that entire time, then that's revolting.

ouryve · 16/02/2014 20:57

And I have an ex who was filthy - he'd frequently go a week in between baths. That was rank.

fryingpantoface · 16/02/2014 21:03

I don't shower every day. I do brush my teeth twice a day and wash face etc.

well I didn't shower every day until after I had ds2 5 weeks ago, flipping hormones are making me sweat a lot. As soon as the hormones calm down I might go back to every two days. Just asked dh who said I wasn't a stinker.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 16/02/2014 21:05

What's the point in putting a dirty nob and nutsack into clean pants ouryve?

Sparklingbrook · 16/02/2014 21:08

And into bed NoArmani. I wouldn't want a dirty nob and nutsack on my Cream, high threadcount Egyptian Cotton. Angry

daisychain01 · 16/02/2014 21:13

Get him to say "don't wash tonight, Jjjjjjjosepheeeene" in his best French accent, and you could be in for a very dirty night.

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