to think it's not ok for a female colleague to texting my husband?

[WhereIsMyShaow]

My dh works in a large company and is the assistant manager of a small team (10ish people), and he has been signed off sick all week as he has tonsillitis.

One of the women on the team sent him a photo of a box of doughnuts saying- look what you're missing out on.

And then saying how much she misses him in work and that it's so quiet without him and he needs to hurry back etc.

Aibu to not like this?

Either that or she's just on a wind up mission...

reveall yes sometimes that's fun as long as the people you text are single or share your amazingly funny texts with their OHs.

or you could possibly get your face punched in RL.

anyway GCSE's soon best get studying

Did she really say she felt sorry for married men that didn't want to flirt with women? Rrrrright....

Honestly AmIThat, I don't know how you can be bothered. Don't you find all these married middle aged men who want a flirty ego boost boring?

I don't know. I've never been any good at chasing after men, married or single. I just find sending flirty texts like in the OP a bit desperate and sad. I think I've said that already. I guess I might be motivated to send a flirty text if I was single and the man was young, fit and hot. But to a married work colleague? Nah.

You know, there are some threads on MN you know are going to explode as soon as you read the OP - sometimes as soon as you read the title.

And then there are ones like these, where you read the start, then read the updates and you're just... .whaaaat?

I don't get how it got from that [points down] to this.

less absolutely and perfect think it's Saturday wine. bless!!

hope that was passive aggressive? never sure!

Oh, of course! I forgot it was the weekend. It's been a while since I was able to drink.

Bloody gestation. I could murder a gin.

Sorry for the late reply. I've just had a hectic day. So don't really understand the the OP got her reaction comment?

Anyway ...

I've spoken to dh about it. I don't think there is a back story about these two, I've only heard her name mentioned a couple of times when he discusses work - but we generally don't talk about work as when it's our time we'd rather just forget about it.

Basically it was this woman's birthday and she had bought everyone a Krispy Kreme doughnut and asked them before which one they would like. Which is why she sent him the photo as he was missing out on the one he asked for.

He then described his symptoms to her saying that he wouldn't have been able to eat it anyway, that's when she said he hoped he would get better soon.

Dh has been managing the time since the start of this year as the other manager has had to work in a different city so apparently he's been making things more fun at work for the team which in his opinion is why she said it's more quiet at work and why he needs to hurry back etc.

I don't know much about her tbf ... just her name, that shes single, early 20s and obviously her jobs. Lookswise I don't have a clue.

I don't know whether IAU or not ... and I don't think there seems to be a clear majority on here too, but obviously I do appreciate all the replies.

I still feel kind of off about it though.

Dh has been managing the time

That should be team not time. Zzzz obviously need some sleep.

Following the update, yabu. Do you know how much those donuts are . Seriously if I were her might might very well have sent a text like that too although would have added in I'm going to eat yours lol

oh well there we go it turns out a woman can text a man and it doesnt mean anything
phew
i was just starting to feel dh and i must live in a sham of a marriage

op, do you also work? if not, it might be worth considering

glad you feel reassured op. yes she's young so probably didn't give it a thought. as some posters on here say they don't and one couldn't care anyway.

hope dh gets better soon.

your thread went a but Barmy but there are some daft posters on every Internet site but you kind of do t expect the worst excesses of it on here.

still as one op pointed out very elegantly she had been drinking so perhaps that was the reason.

At this point, the worst you can say is she is young and does not know the boundaries.

Your dh's birthday/substitute team manager explanation supplies a credible context to her sending the text. It was not a random one out of the blue just because your dh was off work.

I just think she is slightly off her rocker because everyone loves it when their boss is away and would definitely not be missing him or asking him to hurry back. Or a brown noser. She does sound very young to send that text.

blueshoes agree with all of your post.

mercibucket you do know that people do have affairs don't you? that the people who have them are usually to outward appearance happily married men/women..

you do realise that affairs are often between work colleagues and that many affairs are discovered by partners reading texts/emails and discovering something truly heartbreaking.

I think I your comments about the op should get a job are really horrible. so it's only silly sahm who worry about this but sensible working women are cool enough to laugh this sort of thing off.

taking the piss and laughing about someone's else's genuine worries is quite mean girlish.

Yanbu and follow your instincts.

No one ever says "hey let's have an affair." It starts with stupid little things like donuts and text messages.

I don't think there's anything really wrong with your reaction OP. The colleague in question sounds pretty over the top to me and since your DH is the boss it sounds like she's sucking up. I work in a fairly formal office I suppose and if someone did this it would be viewed as really weird and off.

I really don't get what's wrong with men and women interacting with each other. I've been married for years and we both work with members of the opposite sex and, shockingly, even text them....I do believe, once when DH had been away at a conference and was then off sick with food poisoning, he got a message from his young(ish) technician telling him that she missed him and hurry back and even had x's at the bottom. She doesn't fancy him (I mean he's 64 and craggy is the biggest compliment I can make about his looks) and he doesn't fancy her (even though she's a 20-something Goddess with long, long legs!!!). She sees him as a good and funny boss and mentor and he sees her as a talented technician who has a good future in front of her. It is quite ridiculous to assume that all men and all women who work together are jumping each other.

It is quite ridiculous to assume that all men and all women who work together are jumping each other.

You're absolutely right,

But no one said that. No one said all men and all women who work together are jumping each other.

Or did they and I just missed it? Do quote the person who said it for me...

Bold fail

nope you didn't miss it HighlanderMam because noone said it as far as I can see.

zeezeek where did you read that?

actually let's just say that absolutely no one ever has a work place affair and everyone can trust their partners 100% as we all live in a pink fluffy land where nothing nasty happens.

none said that either but let's pretend they did.

I text my married work mate.I dont think his wife cares but didnt think about it tbh because he is my friend?What is there to be annoyed about?That she values him as a person and likes to talk to him?Dont waste your time worrying about it,he is with you .

limited do you say you miss him and hurry back to work?