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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have daughter passed around to strangers

157 replies

Marasmummy1 · 13/02/2014 19:50

My OH likes to carry baby (3mths old) in his arms while we're out and about and hands her over to complete strangers to coo over which really gets my back up. I've explained my reasons for not liking it (they are strangers, paranoid they'll try to kiss her that sort of thing) but he thinks I'm over-reacting. Am I being a paranoid FTM??

OP posts:
mummyto2boysandagirl3 · 13/02/2014 20:53

My mum did it once with my ds1 while I tried a dress on it was the height of the swine flu thing .... I wasn't happy

TamerB · 13/02/2014 20:54

Of course he wouldn't do it if she showed she didn't like it - it can't be a problem to either of them.

Owllady · 13/02/2014 20:54

I once let a young homeless girl on the bus hold my pfb when she was a baby. I think it made the girls day (and she was a stranger and clean as far as normal hygeine is concerned :) ) my pfb survived

notso · 13/02/2014 20:54

It wouldn't really bother me, unless he was passing her to someone staggering out of the pub.
Just out of interest do strangers ask to hold her or do they show an interest and he just passes her over? I would never ask to hold a strangers baby but I do sometimes coo over them.

Grennie · 13/02/2014 20:55

Babies are people, if they want to go to others, then what is the harm?

Annunziata · 13/02/2014 20:55

Come on, I am sure he doesn't catapult her at any passing stranger!

I agree with Tamer, the baby would definitely complain if she wasn't happy.

TamerB · 13/02/2014 20:57

You really, really, can't hand a baby around if they are not happy!! I bet the baby is perfectly happy and likes the interaction.

Owllady · 13/02/2014 20:57

I remember the girl on the bus because she was so upset btw, was on the bus going to emergency housing and she asked to hold her, so I let her. I hope she us okay, I worried about her afterwards

TamerB · 13/02/2014 20:57

He is also hardly likely to hand her to strangers who are not willing.

TwittyMcTwitterson · 13/02/2014 21:30

YANBU!!!

I went shopping with my mum in Tesco when DD was teeny. I nipped off to get something, leaving mum and DD happily cuddling. I comeback and a woman I've never seen is holding DD and in deep conversation with mum. I assume they are close friends and smile politely. I ask who it was after and it was 'thingy' from the 'watsit' and she had no idea what her name was. I was sooooo angry.

However, it definitely was a PFB few months for me Shock

Still, it's weird, there are germs, what if one is a child stealing sicko Wink

bodygoingsouth · 13/02/2014 21:57

suprised someone hasn't invented space suits for babies so no one can possibly breathe or hold them. especially mils.

just wierd that you would mind someone showing love to your baby.

sad comments here I think. no wonder there are so many lonely people out there.

an elderly lady once cuddled my ds1 and it made her cry as her grandson was in Australia and she had never held him.

get a kindness grip people.

harticus · 13/02/2014 21:58

Still, it's weird, there are germs

No it isn't weird. It is human.
And it is exposure to "germs" that builds up a child's natural resistance.

FrysChocolateCream · 13/02/2014 22:02

Never mind germs, what if the person's arms aren't strong! I wouldn't trust just anyone not to drop my little darling.

Daykin · 13/02/2014 22:05

I don't see the problem as long as the baby isn't upset and the randoms don't mind.

hairylittlegoblin · 13/02/2014 22:06

Germs? Really? And what's wrong with someone kissing your baby (on the head I presume)? I thought I was massively PFB but now I feel much better.

I wouldn't usually hand my baby to a total stranger but I really don't see the harm. Am I being really stupid about this?

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 13/02/2014 22:07

How often can this really be happening? And how many people?

FreudiansSlipper · 13/02/2014 22:07

i can not see the problem

many people love to hold a baby and as long as the baby is happy what is the problem

i agree sad and overly precious attitude to have

BackforGood · 13/02/2014 22:08

I don't see the problem either, (from the baby's pov) - if I were admiring a baby who was a complete stranger, I'd be a bit surprised if it were thrust into my arms though! Grin
Are these really complete, random strangers, or just people that are not family ?

SnowHOHOboarder · 13/02/2014 22:10

Wow, do people really ask others to wash their hands before they hold their baby? I can understand it if the baby had immune issues, was premature or of the other person had just been smoking or to the loo but otherwise...?

MichaelFinnigan · 13/02/2014 22:10

Ha this reminds me of when DS was new and we popped into our ( very naice) local. He got passed around the whole place while I enjoyed a lovely glass in relative peace. He came back smelling of 100 different perfumes. like a cheap tart dh said Grin

DoJo · 13/02/2014 22:12

I wouldn't want anyone kissing a young baby, purely because of the things I know (thanks to MN largely) about the herpes virus and how dangerous it can be to young babies. But I would let someone hold my PFB if they really wanted to.

YoureBeingASillyBilly · 13/02/2014 22:13

My mum is a midwife. Less than 5 minutes after my pfb was born she had whisked him off and was handing him round all her colleagues in the hospital showing off her PFGC. Ok they were more than likely clean people and in clean surroundings but i did think "hey can you bring him back now please" Grin

BerryBerryXmas · 13/02/2014 22:14

I had no problem with people wanting to hold my PFB. I just thought of it as his way of meeting people. Of course if he got upset or didn't want to I didn't force it, but he seemed to like it. He is now a very sociable and engaging toddler, but will now go off with any random stranger-that's a whole other worry!

bodygoingsouth · 13/02/2014 22:15

yes often hear of babies getting herpes from old ladies kissing them. well known fact. [ grin]

bodygoingsouth · 13/02/2014 22:16
Grin