To not want my cats now the baby's here?

[elliebe13]

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

singmore yes cats perhaps. As another poster has pointed out, digs firm person based attachments.

I've always had cats, even when I had newborn babies. Your flea treatment isn't working and needs changing, talk to a vet.

It is clear you hate the second cat so get it rehomed. The first cat, you say, is sweet so why can't you keep that one?

"Dogs form"

go back to comedy school

I haven't heard such sparkling wit since junior comedy school

For a longer period than cats, I grant you.

I have still never seen a dog pine for any significant amount of time over it's previous owner, if it's happy in its new environment.

It would be made worse if the owner rehomed and then kept visiting. A clean break is kinder as there's no confusion.

I have four cats who had fleas at one point when my son was a baby.

I never, ever, ever found a flea on his face. They wouldn't really stay still that long enough to find them.

I suspect there may be more than a little bit of paranoia at play here.

My aunt gave me a playmat for my PFB that was riddled with fleas and I didn't notice until they crawled on her

Before I had kids we had 3 cats, who were all very much loved. The youngest however wasn't happy in a 3 cat house, and his behaviour was problematic. Then once I got pregnant, his behaviour got much worse, and he started spraying on me, and on the baby furniture. We reluctantly decided to rehome him, and I cried and cried. He was young, healthy, beautiful, and very friendly, so I am sure they found him a home. He wasn't happy with us.

However, once if had the baby, my feelings towards the other two changed. I just didn't love them the way I did before, and didn't have the time or energy to give them the attention that I used to. It was like something had changed in my brain, I couldn't help it, and I wasn't proud.

We kept them, and in time, I grew to love them again. Maybe not quite the way I did before, but it's fine. One died a couple of months ago, and I was surprised by how upset I was, and how much I miss her.

So I suppose what I am saying is, give it time, you are going through a major adjustment right now, and in time it will settle, and you may feel more positive.

this thread has gone so over the top in a vile way.

Fleas live on most animals they're never eradicated but controlled. with the the exception of some lucky indoor animals they will have fleas at some point. Regular medication regime is what is needed. Anyone can slip up. It's really below the belt to sum her up as a bad parent based on flea infestation in the house I'm sure many pet keepers have experienced this or will at some point. It isn't a reflection of an individual being a bad parent, sister, niece aunt or whatever that's an absurd conclusion. If it's on the carpet which could easily occur without a big infestation it could go on a crawling baby, it does not equate with the op being a bad parent.

When a child gets head-lice do we say scummy mummy? Most ppl will think , perhaps the parent hasn't spotted it, or she has but it's taking a while to eradicate. Also they are a common occurrence on many school kids heads. always think well of a person unless they give you good reason not to, otherwise be kind give them the benefit of doubt.

she hasn't abused the animal Jess simply said she is struggling to care for them, doesn't justify being banned from keeping animals.

Yes, I agree with HopALong too, re-homing a pet can be perfectly responsible behaviour.
Some people can't cope with as much as other people can, you have to be realistic and try to be empathetic I think.
Just because you'd keep the cats if it were you doesn't mean everyone should.
(That's generally to the tone of much of the thread)

I went off my poor old mog when I was pregnant and mine were newborns.

Just a protective, nesting thing. I once found him asleep atop my basket of freshly washed and ironed baby clothes!

It's been worse this time (pregnant again) as we've just moved and he is using the litter tray most times and doesn't want to go out. He meows incessantly.

But I do love him, as do my kids. Once baby is here and settled these negative feelings will disappear. I couldn't contemplate rehoming him, he's part of the family.

Poor old mog

My Mom only ever did the whole flea treatment at home once I'd got bitten, I am an warning system, the buggers bite me to hell. That was a teen, yrs ago, with 2 long haired cats.
I have to say that I always thought fleas could only live in fur/carpet, but can concede that fleas may have got worse since I was a teen.
The minute I got a bite my old cat was frontlined and all was ok but again, that was 8 yrs ago.

Haven't read the whole thread.
I started to have a very strong aversion to our two cats when pregnant with our son. The feeling did not disappear after son's birth and persists nearly three years later. Expecting a second child any day now.
I was ALWAYS a cat person, but now hate sharing my house with them, they make my skin crawl, I can't bear to stroke them etc. Can only think it is something hormonal, although I am not a neurotic cleaning type.
The very sight of them is horrible to me now.
I know this makes me sound really awful.
I seem to have gone off all pets.
My partner and son love the cats dearly though, and I guess I just have to stick sharing my house with the cats for the next X years. Sadly, the cats are very young and healthy and streetwise.
Yep, I am a heartless witch.

My friend runs a rescue and volunteers with another....they both re-home older cats successfully. Their longest resident was with them just over a year but in a foster home (a family home) and has now gone to a permanent home. So yes cats CAN be and ARE successfully re-homed.

We got our cat from Cats Protection. It was taken in from a home where there were children and with us in less than a month. Chipped and deflead and wormed by them. We love her. Find a new place for them if they worry you. But start with the nasty one and see if the other can stay. I worried about cats when my children were small. You are NBU.

That's a bit out of hand! And judgy!

Some of the responses on this thread are nuts. I'm a great cat lover (in fact a rehomed cat is currently trying to sit on my keyboard) but you quite obviously can't compare cats (and the way one feels about them) with DC!!

I do remember, when DD1 was a baby feeling a little bit cooler towards my previously adored cat. Partly that was because she was furious at the arrival of the new baby and kept weeing in the nursery. But when the cat died unexpectedly 10 months later I was sooo gutted. I think the cooling off was just nesting etc as Altogether Andrews says - it soon passed. If you can't live with the newer one though, don't feel too bad about having her rehomed.

I had cats before babies, loved them before, hated them afterwards for peeing on car seat etc but still couldn't bring myself to get rid as thought I'd rather be one of those families with pets than without. Once kids out of baby age cats are great - ours are dead now but kids still loved having them while they were toddlers. Have a dog who is much worse. Going to get more cats soon. As for rental, lived in loads of rental houses and landlords were fine, just had to pay bigger deposit.

And I have never had a pet, because I know they are for life and I could neve take one on and then discard when things in life change, as they do.

Have a medal

Thanks

how do people get this bothered about animals? I can understand if the animals in question are suffering like those in the rspca ads but based on the OP, these cats are quite content. Why are some of you so upset on behalf of a couple of cats who probably won't give a shit either way?

Sharaluck. You have no idea.