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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my cats now the baby's here?

374 replies

elliebe13 · 13/02/2014 11:37

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2014 18:32

Fleas jump don't they? Confused

SingMoreWhenYoureWinning · 13/02/2014 18:32

Some of these messages are fucking barmy.

They are CATS. Not children. Not ickle babies or children who will pine and miss you. CATS.

If you rehome a cat (that is in a good state of health, hasn't been abused etc), within a fortnight it will be fine and settled. It won't even remember the previous flipping owner!

For any of the 'hard-core' animal lovers here...by all means, love your pets. Treat them well. But don't attribute human thoughts and feelings to them. They might be YOUR world but to them you're just the vessel that feeds/strokes/walks them...and the truth is, they WOULD be fine without you in another loving home.

greenhill · 13/02/2014 18:32

Yes, you can post what you like as long as it is within talk guidelines cravey Maybe I'll take my own advice and hide the thread.

Fleta · 13/02/2014 18:33

Interesting. Because I read that she had found them on her baby occasionally...

Cravey · 13/02/2014 18:35

Ok fleta. Doesn't matter how often. Fleas on a child is not right. Unless of course you're a true scummy mummy and think it's all good.

Cravey · 13/02/2014 18:36

And sparkling. Yes I think fleas jump. However the op said she found them crawling on her child. Not me. The op.

Elsiequadrille · 13/02/2014 18:37

They do actually crawl, believe it or not, though very quickly Recollections of bathing infected kitten (breeder hadn't de flead obviously) and removing fleas with comb.

randomfemale · 13/02/2014 18:38

Sparkling fleas do indeed jump. Maybe you are thinking of head lice which can only transfer to another head by crawling.

Sparklingbrook · 13/02/2014 18:38

I didn't refer to any person specifically Cravey just making a statement about fleas.

Greenrememberedhills · 13/02/2014 18:38

Singmore- quite.

JessMcL · 13/02/2014 18:38

I seriously hope OP is put on a list to never be allowed to be a pet owner again. I've only read 2 pages but this has really pissed me off.

randomfemale · 13/02/2014 18:41

fleas do jump

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flea

SingMoreWhenYoureWinning · 13/02/2014 18:41

That's ridiculous Jess.

JessMcL · 13/02/2014 18:41

And SingMore- speak for yourself. I took my grandfathers dog in 4 months ago and he still pines for him when he doesn't see him. He goes berserk when he sees him and it's the only time he is truly "happy" and won't leave his side when he is here.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 13/02/2014 18:42

Of course fleas jump.
Good lord!

SelectAUserName · 13/02/2014 18:43

OP if there are any riding schools or livery yards near you, it might be worth advertising cat number 2 as a yard cat. An advert in the local vets and saddlery shops might help find her a suitable home, in addition to trying rescues which are almost certain to be over-stretched already.

I hope you get the flea problem sorted - it's soul-destroying to deal with if you don't get them zapped first time - and I hope things settle down with Cat number 1 so that she can become your much-loved family pet again.

Elsiequadrille · 13/02/2014 18:43

But they also crawl Grin

Forgets original point.

ifyourehoppyandyouknowit · 13/02/2014 18:43

Recognising that, for whatever reason, you are no longer able to look after a pet and give it a happy life, and that it would be better to re-home it, is being a responsible pet owner.

randomfemale · 13/02/2014 18:46

Please ignore me Sparkling I mis-read your post as 'fleas don't jump'

As you were Grin

Lizzylou · 13/02/2014 18:47

Exactly Hopalong.

SingMoreWhenYoureWinning · 13/02/2014 18:47

In regards to the fleas...it's all too easy to judge.

We have had pets for many years and i've never encountered a flea problem until a couple of weeks before christmas last year (at which time we had one cat). The cat was covered at the time already, we always regularly deflea.

For 6 weeks our lives were misery. It was horrendous. Out of the blue the cat was crawling with them and when she was treated again we had a hell of a job getting them out of the house. Me, dh and ds1 were fine...no bites at all. BUT ds2...it was awful. He has sensitive skin anyway but the fleas made a beeline for him and he was literally covered in bites.
We tried everything - every flea treatment going, plus all the herbal flea repellants suggested (I think it was tea tree and lavender or similar in the corners of the room). We had cat flea collars in the hoover and were hoovering everywhere 4 times a day. It just did nothing for weeks and poor ds2 continued to suffer.

Then they just went and we've been clear for a month now. I don't feel like a shite parent, although I did feel awful for ds2 at the time for the state he was in.

SingMoreWhenYoureWinning · 13/02/2014 18:48

I took my grandfathers dog in 4 months ago and he still pines for him when he doesn't see him.

Maybe you need to look at the environment you are providing the dog in that case.

A dog that is in a suitable, loving and caring new environment is usually just fine.

Sallystyle · 13/02/2014 18:50

I had a massive flea problem once. They were in my kids hair and everywhere.

It was awful and normal treatments weren't working so I had to get environmental health to spray twice.

We went on holiday and when we came home thousands of fleas jumped all over us, thousands and that is no lie.

It was disgusting.

OP after a few years if you want another pet, get one. There is nothing to say that when you are done with children you can never get a pet again because you once re-homed one.

I once re-homed a dog and now I have two but a lot of people would obviously say I should never have owned another one again. I now have a total of 8 pets ;)

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 18:50

captaingrinch my comment was in direct response to your saying "and (they) can get expensive down the line" as one of the justifications for rehoming.
I personally have not been laying into OP purely because she wants to rehome.
But,

  • getting a cat or two cats because it was too soon for a baby??
  • posting this in AIBU? If constructive suggestions were hoped for then there are topics more suitable here
  • the heading itself suggests go me that the cats are now being discarded because something better has come by.
  • the sentiment expressed on thus thread by implication that good homes are a dime a dozen even for grizzly veterans like the second cat. That cat will be lucky if it ever lives in a home again.

So, OP, I hope I have misjudged you and that when you say you hate your cats, what you mean us you love them but are at your wit's end and that you believe they would have a better life elsewhere.

Sallystyle · 13/02/2014 18:53

Dogs might pine, cat's won't.

Cats are independent, they really don't care unless they are fed and loved. Might take a while to get used to a new environment but generally they will go on to be happy and not pine for their owners.

Fleas can be a pain to get rid of and my flea problem was with treating my pets regularly. The stuff obviously didn't work. We did not see fleas before we went away. Good pet owners can get flea infestations they are buggers to get rid of and half of the flea products I use never seem to last all that long.