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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want my cats now the baby's here?

374 replies

elliebe13 · 13/02/2014 11:37

2 years ago I really wanted a baby but my husband thought it was too soon so got me a cat instead. She's the gentlest, sweetest cat there is. A year later my friend found a box of abandoned kittens and we took one in. I put all my effort into her and lavished love on her but she's just a grumpy, horrible cat who steals my other cat's food, fights with her and leaves white hair everywhere. She doesn't even like to be stroked. Sometimes she just poops next to the litterbox.

I became really freakish about cleanliness during pregnancy and they're banned from our bedroom and the baby's room. They're both treated for fleas but I still find them on my baby's face occasionally.

I thought my hatred for them would disappear when the baby came but I just really resent them, no matter how much I clean there's hair and dander everywhere, we don't have much space or money really and it's hard to find a decent rented flat for pets.

The second cat needs to go as I am miserable and dreading when the baby starts crawling. I had guests over last night and my friend's coat was just covered with this white hair.

I am going out of my mind. I thought I was an animal lover but I guess I'm not :(

OP posts:
VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 21:38

I would never have a pet either, precisely for the reasons given by op.

2tiredtocare · 13/02/2014 21:38

Sad Angry Sad

Sharaluck · 13/02/2014 21:50

Why do I have no idea? No idea about what? Confused

I actually think ahead before making decisions and wouldn't take on responsibility for a pet without a lot of consideration of possible issues/lifestyle changes.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 21:52

clearly, it's not a decision that is being made lightly. bully for you that you're so great at thinking ahead but many people find themselves in situations they hadn't planned and in this case, OP is not enjoying her cats anymore - something that can't be foreseen really.

Sharaluck · 13/02/2014 21:54

But she asked if she is being unreasonable about it, and yes I actually think she is.

nkf · 13/02/2014 21:54

I got rid of ours when I had a baby.Best decision. Someone will welcome them.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 21:57

her feelings are possibly hormone-related (I've read a few replies about feeling differently towards pets once baby is born) and she had no way of knowing they would change so drastically. she's being very reasonable in the sense that she's aware they would be better off with someone else.

PeriodFeatures · 13/02/2014 22:08

I miss out cats. We have always rescued unwanted cats. The last one we had during my pregnancy. He was really distressed when dd was born and the fleas, litter tray and worry about him climbing on her was too much. We found a lovely home for him. I wouldn't have let him go otherwise. I felt terrible too.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:14

OP's getting cats because it was too soon to have a baby and then hating them after are probably annoying people the most.
On another note, AngryAngryAngry at the poster who talked about "getting rid" of her cat. Maybe someone will talk that way about you and you won't like it then.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 22:16

wasn't it OP's husband's idea to get the first cat, not hers? not a very well-thought out idea obviously but not malicious exactly...

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:17

Not ^malicious^, no.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:17

italics fail in the last post

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 22:22

considering some peoples' reactions here though, it's as though she was thinking of drowning them! I read a thread recently about someone just essentially kicking the cat out, not letting them back in. now that is irresponsible.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:23

That person needs to be flogged AngryAngryAngry

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:23

I hope they were well flamed.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 22:24

iirc, it wasn't actually the poster but her friend.

JessMcL · 13/02/2014 22:25

Singmore. I'm not saying he isn't fine- he loves our family very much. But he lived with my grandfather for 11 years and naturally still sees him as his daddy. You clearly haven't got a clue so I wouldn't bother commenting.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:31

jessMcL here is a study that supports what you're saying : dogs view humans as parents

JessMcL · 13/02/2014 22:31

Singmore- just to add. My grandfather is 93 and went into a home 4 months ago and obviously couldn't take the dog with him. He still visits us here every week for his Sunday dinner. I'm not going to stop him doing that incase the dog gets confused- which he doesn't. Dogs have preferences for people. The dog i'm talking about adores my grandfather (as I said together alone for 11 years and he is his daddy) and sticks to him like glue when he is here and looks everywhere for him when he has left. He adores my DH as a very close second- they are curled up together in bed next to me as i'm typing this but I don't doubt for a second if my grandfather walked in now he would be off the bed like a shot to be with him. Our other dog is DS dog. Sure he will be walked and cuddled by anyone- but if DS is in the room nobody else matters.

randomAXEofkindness · 13/02/2014 22:32

YANBU. When dd1 started crawling, she sat next to our much adored four year old rescue cat and leaned down a bit to gaze lovingly at it's cute fluffy face, it responded by promptly attacking her, flinging itself at her face and head with its teeth and claws. I've got to be honest, I didn't have much sympathy for the cat's rights and needs while I watched the blood trickle down her beautiful face from the puncture wounds on her head.

On another note, Angry at the poster who talked about "getting rid" of her cat. Maybe someone will talk that way about you and you won't like it then.

Is this really an equivalent Zombie? Was the cat offended? Maybe it needs some therapy. Oh the business possibilities Grin

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 22:33

aren't dogs really different to cats though, in temperament and how attached they become?

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:34

random just personally appalled at the heartlessness of the phrase.

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers · 13/02/2014 22:35

vampyre possibly. The link was with regard to the discussion on a dog.
I don't have much personal experience with cats so couldn't say.

VampyreofTimeandMemory · 13/02/2014 22:36

I sort of agree about the 'get rid of' thing. I felt pretty disgusted when I heard someone use it in relation to abortion the other day.

worriedabout · 13/02/2014 22:49

I can sympathize with those who went off their cats when pregnant. I developed a really bad allergy to mine when I was pregnant and could not even stroke her. Also, I remember feeling so in love with her before and not feeling that way after. 4 years and two children later I realise it was maybe nature's way of helping me prioritize. I like my cat now but can't say I love her. She needs me less now because she had two small people who adore her. I would say to op to not make a quick decision and to give it a little time.