To ask should smacking children be banned.

[HadABadDay2014]

Just seen this on the welsh news.

I am not perfect and once I have smacked ds felt awful and never did it again.

Now I know if this was a patient at work or a member of the public I would had been arrested and highly likely ended up with a criminal record and lost my job.

So the question is should snaking children be banned.

Hitting people should be illegal. I have never understood why just because someone is smaller, younger and more vulnerable, they are excluded from this.

I agree it should be illegal for all!

No, I don't think it should. Smacking your child is not in my view at all the same thing as smacking a member of the public. Small children are very different from adults, and don't necessarily understand a reasoned approach. You are also totally responsible for them and the consequences of their behaviour. And they often behave extremely "unreasonably", in a way that you can't just ignore, as you could with a member of the public. I have occasionally smacked my DCs to bring home that what they have done is very serious. For instance, when my 3 year old ran into the road, I rushed after her and immediately gave her a smack, while explaining how she must never ever do that again. I have no regrets over that.

Yes it should be. And I say that as someone who has smacked several times in anger and felt such shame over it. What right does an adult have to inflict violence on a child disguised as discipline? None. It's just a lack of control or uncontrolled anger disguised as a learning tool.

Yes

My 3yo ran into the road. I shouted at him and explained over and over that he must never do that. He was distraught enough from being in so much trouble and he definitely understood why and could explain to his daddy later what he had done, why he shouldn't have done it and that he would never do it again. And I'll keep a better hold on him from now on! There was no need to be violent, to hurt him or humiliate him. I think hitting children should absolutely be banned - there is no excuse or justification for it.

Ds tried to get a hot cup of tea, I moved his hand and smacked it.

It was my fault I should have left the cup in a safe place.

No way was he to blame.

Yes it should be banned

Seems that children are getting smacked for our stupidity. Reins and hot tea out of reach would have worked in these cases. Smack yourselves!

agree with dromedary.

yabvu

Very definitely. As should the phrase "it never did me any harm" (which is bound to be trotted out shortly!).

My nephew, when a toddler, reached to grab hold of a bee. I was the closest one to him so I smacked his hand out of the way. I probably made him cry but would rather have had that than had him stung by a bee.

Well of course it would be. If i went and hit my brother just because he is my younger relative i would be liable for prosecution.

If he hit me because i am physically smaller he would be breaking the law and liable for prosecution.

No its buts maybes.

Should*

Wabbity I think your situation is a bit different-you were forcefully moving his hand, not lashing out because he'd been 'naughty'. I don't agree with you hitting his hand but I think your motives weren't the same as those using it for discipline.

I think if it was banned then people would know where they were with it.It is never a good idea to hit anyone. My dc grew up in the 70s and as far as I remember I smacked ds once when he was 8 and had had gone home from school with a friend without my knowing where he was. When he breezed in I gave him two swats on the bottom then I cried! I also slapped him when He was 16! We were driving along and he was goading me and I lashed out sideways not really aiming for anything but he ducked and my ring caught his face. I was horrified at myself.
Dd was younger and I don't really remember smacking her though she was a little pain and my mum used to tell me to smack her!

Wabbity i think that comes under a different heading tbh.

i think if you could be prosecuted for doing it to an adult it follows that that same law should apply to children.

I don't think that law applies to accidents and things like that.

Christ if it applied to accidents me and my dad would be banged up long ago were both clumsy as well. My dad burst my nose open by accident once because he thought id fallen off the bunk bed, spun round to catch me and caught me full in the face.

As hell*

I smacked my son once because I was scared and angry when he ran away and I lost sight of him. I was ashamed of myself and it made no difference to 'discipline' (he laughed). I am not sure it should be illegal, but I don't think it's a helpful method of discipline - partly because it just teaches violence and partly because several layers of padding in the way of snowsuit and cloth nappy prevented him from feeling much anyway.

Yes, it should be banned.

I agree with mrsterrypratchet's post above. Children are often smacked for a parent's stupidity.

MrsTerry - I don't agree with constantly having 3 year olds in reins just in case (would you use reins on a member of the public? ). And adults will sometimes leave a cup of tea within reach of a small child. Perhaps the adult is at fault there, but it will happen and children should be taught as young and effectively as possible to avoid dangers like that.
Some parents certainly smack out of nastiness / anger / wishing to demonstrate their power etc. I'm obviously not supporting that.

It should be illegal. Why is it not classed as assault? I don't understand it at all. Seems like lazy parenting to me.

I might slap DH's hand out of the way if he was going to touch a pan he didn't know was hot or grab a flower with a bee on it. That is not the same as using violence as 'discipline'. If I would do it to an adult (for example shove someone out of the way of danger) then it's fine to do it to a child. Maybe I'm lucky but a stern voice, or a shout, or a serious explanation works on DD, who is 3.

If smacking is the only effective parenting technique, how come cultures where smacking is illegal do so well? Denmark, Finland, Iceland, New Zealand?

Yes, it should be banned. The law must be 100% clear. It is entirely unnecessary.