To ask should smacking children be banned.

[HadABadDay2014]

Just seen this on the welsh news.

I am not perfect and once I have smacked ds felt awful and never did it again.

Now I know if this was a patient at work or a member of the public I would had been arrested and highly likely ended up with a criminal record and lost my job.

So the question is should snaking children be banned.

I am also controversial but I actually don't think smacking is the worst thing you can do to a child. If you are so frustrated with a child for whatever reason that you either give them a swift smack or you yell at them telling them they are a fucking little bastard I don't see one as less 'bad' than the other. OBVIOUSLY, neither one is ideal but I don't see smacking and only smacking as the 'red line' for parenting. (Actually as I child I would probably have preferred an occasional smack - which I got - over occasionally being told that I was worthless or stupid or a little cunt or whatever). I would be much more in favour of parenting courses as a normal part of having a child, educating people on how to manage and how to effectively and positively discipline children, rather than a kneejerk ban on one type of 'less than ideal' parenting whilst not equipping people with other ways of handling their frustration at managing a child's difficult behaviour. All that would probably happen would be the smackers would become the verbal abusers, and that isn't any better.

Yes, a law banning it would be excellent. Hitting another adult is abuse so hitting a child should surely be classed as worse. They have no means of protecting themselves and cant leave the home.

Teachers manage to discipline a class of thirty without resolving to violence so there is no excuse.

Yes I think it should be.

Yes it should, it wasn't that long ago it was ok for teachers to smack. Children have historically been treated appallingly by society in general.
It's about time they were protected by law and it clearly doesn't go far enough as it stands seeing as smacking is still a very common form of discipline.

I disagree showy, also not singling you out, it's just I remember your comment.
I understand your reasons for thinking my actions are wrong, I accepted that in my first comment because I said.... I know I am in the minority. But at 2 years old, dc did not understand that biting was not ok. She was angry and frustrated, she could not understand verbally she was not mature enough to empathise. I removed her from play many times, it was a last resort.

Hitting anyone of any sex, age, skin colour, accent, weight etc. should of course be illegal. Especially if its small people who are dependent on you being hit.
Another poster (can't remember who) said on another smacking thread something like, a 'light tap' is a touch. Hy would you touch your child's hand/arse to punish them? So it's not a 'tap', it's a hit, it's meant to hurt.
And hitting in a 'controlled, calm' way is just fucking creepy.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

I'm in total agreement with MrsTerryPratchett, in that a lot of the time children get hit because of their parents stupidity. So many times I've seen parents with a 2 or 3YO child walking along a busy road - the parent couldn't care less what the child is doing, and is on their phone. Child walks into road and parent goes mental at the child? It is completely the parents fault!
And what's wrong with putting reins on children? My DTriplets are 4 now, but even at 3 I'd often put reins on them - I have 2 slightly older DD's and I simply do not have enough hands to control 5 young children.

Makes me feel sick to read about children who get smacked; and parents who 'smugly' admit to doing it - like hurting your own child is a nice/good thing to do. Learn to control your own anger.
YANBU OP

Mishmash * and school children behave really well in class now don't they. I have witnessed some appalling behavior of children in classrooms, they know they are untouchable and there are incidents where teachers are physically attacked by pulpils with little consequence.
I'm not saying bring back the cane btw, but it does make me wonder what goes through these children's heads. If they don't want to do something. They won't, they will be dispruptive and be sent home. Which is where they wanted to be anyway.

at a two year old getting smacked. Yep really going to benefit of that!

Bad analogy OP. If you tried to make a patient at work or a member of the public go to bed early or tidy their room you would be arrested too. Telling adults they can't go out to play and/or putting them in reins would be false imprisonment.

I was spanked and slapped as a child. It should be a nuclear option, and used rarely. Corporal punishment should not be permitted in schools.

I also bit others as a child. The only way to cure a biter is to bite them back.

Erica - I disagree. I cured my daughter of biting within a single day by writing her a simple story that explained how the bitten child felt and how sad I felt when she hurt someone else. No aggression needed, just a bedtime story that explained what she didn't understand before - biting hurts people, and it upsets those who love you when you inflict pain on other people. She has never bitten anyone since.

Yes it should be banned.

i'd prefer a constructive discussion about alternatives to smacking.
so: e.g feeding your 13month old. they repeatedly throw their food on the floor, resisting your efforts to spoonfeed. what do you do? keep trying to feed? how long? or do you stop feeding them? then when they're hungry later, give them a snack? or refuse food til next meal? is that abusive? (this happens at every mealtime, btw.)
but maybe that's hijacking the thread...

Yep hijacking the thread. Maybe post in behaviour/development for response to a specific problem.

But certainly dont expect anyone to say 'just keep smacking her'

you would smack your 13-month-old for playing up at mealtimes? Christ on a bike.

if she's resisting your efforts to spoonfeed then give her the damn spoon! (DD very firmly removed the spoon from my hand at 12 months and wouldn't have me feeding her - probably she would have thrown food around if I'd persisted.)

You would seriously physically punish a baby for doing that? Wow, Just - wow.

I also bit others as a child. The only way to cure a biter is to bite them back

Vile.

Biting a child is an actual crime.

Is it not against the law to smack a child? Surely using any sort if physical punishment is abuse which is against the law.

not actually my problem, just a scenario as an alternative to the roads/sockets/biting ones.

i did not imagine i'd be told to 'keep on smacking''

feeding your 13month old. they repeatedly throw their food on the floor, resisting your efforts to spoonfeed. what do you do? keep trying to feed? how long? or do you stop feeding them? then when they're hungry later, give them a snack

Is it not rather obvious? give them the spoon or if they can't work a spoon without help provide them with food they can manage. Wanting to independently eat is a normal development thing.if your first instinct is to smack then it may be worth going to a sure start centre and looking into some of there parenting support program's

So the grumpalo- why on earth post on a smacking thread asking for alternatives to smacking if smacking wasnt what you thought an appropriate way to deal with it?

Thinking about those parents who frequently smack their children, as their basic form of discipline, or out of frustration, I think much of that is down to lack of support / teaching. People, often still very young themselves, sometimes as single parents, have babies with absolutely no help or guidance on how to look after them. We go to state provided ante-natal classes on how to give birth, but there is little that is equivalent on how to look after a difficult toddler or young child. Children can be very very difficult, and just as there is no escape for the child, there is often no escape for the parent either. If a child is being very badly behaved, tantrumming, constant whingeing, biting sibling, etc etc, the parent may be struggling with looking after a baby at the same time, and so on, it is a very challenging situation. I think that parents need more training and support.

Yes i think smacking should be illegal.