hmmm aibu to ask ... was just reading another thread .. how old do you think its acceptable for your children to move out .. would you let them stay tilmthey were 30 ?

[mummywithsmiles]

Yep just that really , I'm 22 sister 29 and other sister 32 ,we all live with my mum.

I think it's natural to want to make your own household and life as an adult..this cant be at home in mum and dads house because its their house and they own it, pay the bills and make decisions about the property . Not forever anyway, so at some point independence has to be reached.
Are some people expecting to be provided for for life by their parents then? And then inherit the house? It seems very unfair to me they should be out paving their own way and making their own future.

When I got back.. I was preg and went to the housing they said HB I would b entitled to was 125 a week as was only entitled to a room until baby was born and then it would 225 a week ... In Hammersmith n Fulham I couldn't find a room for that and now can't finbd a flat for 225 either. All the rooms or bedsits were too much

I moved out at 17, when ds1 was 10 months old. hes 19 now and I dont see him moving out for a while yet.

yes I want him to go out and enjoy life, thats why im happy for him to live at home. hes on an apprenticeship and even though his money goes up next month he couldn't afford tp move out and still have a life!

I think it seems reasonable in your situation mummy just not forever

Newsyrchanger your assuming all the parents have bought houses etc and pay for their DC

My mum has a council flat she got when I was one for us all to live in and my sisters pay equal to my mum towards D's the rent and I will too.

Oh god, early twenties I hope.

Exactly Moomins - if being young is about having some fun before settling down you can't really do that in a miserable little bedsit with nothing to look forward to except making sure you've paid your bills.

Sorry on a stupid tablet which likes to predict and add things lol
Wonder what it will b like in 20 years I'm guessing a lot more ppl at home longer

Apprenticeships and training programmes are the same as full time education to me Salmo. The amount of rent i would charge would probably not be far off a house share and i wouldn't be running round after them - they would have to do chores. If they are wild like me they'll want to have mates round being loud and partying all hours etc, so that wont be allowed. They may find they prefer a house share for similar money and being able to do what they want.

That's why i moved out. My rent to M&D was the same as my friends bedsit and she could come and go as she please and have all the sex/boyfriends to stay she wanted. It was a no brainer.

Seems reasonable . All circs are different but I think in those where you own the house and pay mortgage etc its better for dc to move out or they will never be able to get their own place.

Its a point sal -do some of you not want your children to go crazy and have fun with there money for a bit before it all gets serious

Living in student house shares is fun

have you flat shared it is not all doom and gloom

we were having parties every weekend it was great

we lived off bread a noodles but we had a great time a few years later most of us had our own places or were living with a partner and living a different life

Hmm.

Well, I suspect the economy will be a very different beast in 15-20 years time and that more and more people will stay longer in the parental home.

Just like they used to.

i do not agree

life has changed, we stayed at home because that is what was expected of us until we got married our lives are very different now

i would not like ds to miss out on having a few years of fun living with friends before life gets more serious

I flat/house shared several times.

It was mostly crap.

People not pulling their weight with chores, nicking your food, running up electric bills, generally being selfish sods.

So if you have three children and they all stay at home with their partners and then have children..... When do they make the break

I lived in school halls from 16-18
College halls from 18
The last yr with boyfriend until 5 months ago.

Sometimes it's circumstances, a lot of people cannot afford to rent or go on the housing ladder. Person could have been made unemployed, suffer illness, divorce or break up of a relationship. You don't stop being some bodies mum/dad when they are 18, you don't want to see your children in difficulty if you are able to help, so for that the there is no limit imoh

That's the thing I'm trying to say - you don't have much money left to have even a few treats, never mind actual fun, if you are on a tight budget and paying rent, transport, bills and food.

Did you see CH4 news about this earlier saying something like 25% of all 25-30yo (or something similar - i'll go and check) are now living at home - the highest percentage ever. I don't have any experience of people staying in the parental home previous to my generation.

Anecdotally - all my working class relatives were out on their ear pretty early on. Their parents took all their wages while they lived at home, so it was better for my parents generation to leave and keep their own money. And then before then they went into service, got married or joined up. I don't know of one relative going back 100 years who lived in the parental home past 21 (all in south and east London).

that is a shame it can be a great way to live away from home at first

mind you i can remember arguments about food and house chores but that was just part of the experience of moving on in life

he earns £100 a week, no way would I charge him as much as it would cost for a bedsit. I wouldnt want him living in some shitty bedsit with no money left after rent, food and travel costs.

yes he likes to party, it just doesnt happen in my house. he went on holiday with friends last year and they met loads of people who live all over the country who they visit and go out with.

hes having a great time, which is how it should be at his age imo

Maybe we should be taking a leaf out of other cultures' books a bit more!

Extended families sharing accommodation - everyone pitching in and looking out for each other.

trouble is having young adult children at home they judge you.

me and dh love a glass of the wine but have had to cut back now as they disapprove, to be fair we probably have too much.

they are a bit too sensible for us to be honest

also sex has to be quiet. ffs if they don't fuck off we will have to.