AIBU to be loathed and sad to turn down a job offer

[BitsinTatters]

I'm just turning down a job offer for a job I really want, with a great firm, team seem lovely... because I can't afford the child care

Feel very deflated and sorry for the poor chaps that offered me the job any way. Feel like I've wasted their time.

Yanbu I'm currently on maternity leave with a surprise DC3. My other 2DCs were at an age where I dropped them at school on my way to work and they got the bus home and were ok until I got in an hour later (teenagers) and it worked perfectly. I love my DC3 to bits but I also love my job and the independence I was getting back and now I don't know what to do? Looking into childcare, it's so expensive it will take my whole wage which just seems completely pointless. I know exactly how you feel.

Dc1 is at school
Dc2 is at pre school (same as school hours)
Dc3 nursery bill and extras for other 2 would consume my whole wage.

I genuinely am gutted. It makes so sense.

It wouldn't consume your whole wage as a couple though and it is only for a short time. It may be worth it just to get back into work.

That's a real shame, but didn't you work out childcare before going for interview?

Do you have an OH who.could pay the bills? Sometimes the job is worth breaking even on in the short term so that you can have it for the long term.

Take the job! In a few years the Childcare will look v different and you'll be that bit further along in your career.

Can you not afford the childcare or will it just eat up all your wage? The two things are not the same. Childcare often eats up a whole wage but you put up with it for a couple of years till they're in school and you have then have your wage and a decent career on the go. Lots of people do it, and even lose money, using up savings etc, and it's worth it career-wise.

I am just coming out of childcare = salary, although ds starting school didn't make a huge difference (school uniform, school dinners,school milk, wrap around care three days a week, holiday club, holidays during shook holidays all add up pretty quickly). But the way i see it - childcare costs are only going to go down and my pay is only going to go up.

but you won't need child care for ever.... look at the long term thing.

It's not just childcare, by the time you account for clothes, travel costs and work food - as well as lost tax credits, many women are paying to work.

Would it be worth it so that you get the position you want even if you end up with no money - at the moment! Then when DC3 gets older, you'll be where you want to be?

Have you checked if you are entitled to tax credits? With 3 kids in childcare you can get some help up to quite a generous combined income. Check the calculators - might be a nice surprise.

Also, if can afford to lose money for a while it would be worth it in the long run - childcare gets cheaper as time goes on.

Your childcare costs will reduce each year, you can also get childcare vouchers and may be eligible for other support

Could you not try a child minder instead of a nursery? Or is it still the same cost?

Check whether the company does childcare vouchers - and of course your OH's employer as well. These won't pay the full cost but they do help as you don't pay tax & NI on them. Assuming you are not on your own childcare is a cost to the parents - not just the mother's responsibility.

Even at break even you should take the job - think long term!!

Take it. Think long term. Work with your partner to cut costs everywhere else, but dont turn down what you describe as a dream job.

Agree with lauriefairycake and hoppingreen, take the job and work your way up the ladder. It will be worth it in the end, especially if you feel the company & team are a good fit for you.

I'd also think long term if possible.

I've just taken a new job that is a payrise and much better prospects but means that we need two extra days childcare for dc2 (he's nearly 4 in part time nursery). ATM I still work ft but compressed so only over 3 days but the new job is a typical 9-5.

It will cost us a fortune over the next few months - we'll be worse off, even with my payrise, because of the extra 2 days.

BUT in September ds2 goes full time - meaning childcare costs will more than half. So I've accepted it and we've sat down and cried worked out a new budget, knowing it will be soo worth it in September.

I'd take the job!!!! As others have said, think about the long term picture. The longer you're out of employment the harder it is to get back into it. You may well feel like you are working for nothing but you are, you're working to get your confidence and skills back and when your childcare costs start to reduce too then things will seem much brighter!!!

Take it! Think long term as the others have said. Assuming you have a partner earning a wage too, you will be in the same position financially with you going back to work and your wage being eaten by childcare as you would staying home (as you would be the childcare so no wage) but career wise you'll be far better off going back to work now than waiting until you can afford the childcare. It's not just about the money.

Yanbu I had to turn down a dream position last year because I just couldn't make if work with child care

• it's shit but you have to think everything happens for a reason and not give up - I am yet to find anything yet but an still plugging away - good luck OP

have you arleady turned it down op?

Shortsighted to turn the job down.

I agree with others saying think long term. It is a few short years that childcare costs will be so high.Have you looked into the childcare voucher scheme to save some money? We had 4 dc's close together, and work around each other to minimise childcare costs ( I understand not everyone can do this), ten years on now the kids are older I'm really glad I managed to keep working as it would have been so hard to get back into my career if I had taken years out.